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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Road rage or reasonable?

15 replies

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 21:41

So nipped to the shops at lunch - it’s a busy dual carriageway linking to a motorway so can be busy with lots of diving between lanes, but it’s a route I do often, and know well.
Once round the shop, I was leaving and a woman approached to say I’d cut her up at some lights - a couple of miles earlier - without indicating. I genuinely don’t think I did - I’m a generally safe driver with no accidents or speeding tickets in 20 years, but we can all have our off days.

My bigger concern is that this person followed me to the shop which was a couple of miles away (including following me around the shop as she only approached when I was leaving) to tell me I’d cut her up. AIBU to think that’s pretty weird and verging on road ragey?

OP posts:

LHReturns · 20/02/2023 21:42

Very weird…anger issues….what did you respond?

Callisto1 · 20/02/2023 21:44

Maybe she was going to the same shop anyway and just wanted to vent her frustration. It's pretty strange to assume you were followed.

Original poster

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 21:45

But then why wait until I’d done the shop? If my car had cut her up, how would she recognize me in the shop (nowhere near the car) without following?

OP posts:

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 20/02/2023 21:51

I come across no indicating daily. Was there a possibility you didn't?
Btw I still drive like I did on my test
But it was not acceptable she followed you into a store
can I just say I drive on a very daily basis and there are often people driving daily and I can give you a daily total
Yesterday was ANOTHER idiot that looked left coming out of a car park that thought she owed the road

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 20/02/2023 22:28

YANBU that is weird. What did you say back to her?

Better than when some dude followed me to a petrol station tailgating me the whole time, I'd pulled out of a side road at the same time he did as it was my right of way. I went in the shop and told the shop worker I was scared so he shielded me - when I went out this arsehole had spat on my car! I had JUST passed my test I don't think I was even 18 yet!

Saz12 · 20/02/2023 22:33

I think if she was bothered enough to follow you for a couple miles, park, go to the shop and accost you as you left the shop then she
a) needs a better hobby
b) probably did get cut up at the lights.

melj1213 · 20/02/2023 22:34

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 21:45

But then why wait until I’d done the shop? If my car had cut her up, how would she recognize me in the shop (nowhere near the car) without following?

Maybe she was going to the shop too, saw you getting out of your car but didn't manage to catch you before you went in and then when she spotted you as you were leaving, you were close enough for her to approach so she decided to say something.

It's happened to me before when someone has cut me up on the way to the gym and then as I pulled into the carpark I saw them getting out of their car and going inside. By the time I got in to the lobby they were nowhere in sight but later on I spotted them across the gym floor and it made me annoyed all over again but I didn't approach as I didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the gym.

Original poster

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 22:37

@melj1213 Can I ask why you think / thought it would have been appropriate to speak to them (with all genuineness)? I can’t fathom chasing a driver who’d annoyed me, under almost any circumstance.

OP posts:

Original poster

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 22:40

@Saz12 - As mentioned, I don’t think I did, but happy to acknowledge I’m human and make error as much as I try not to.

I do still find her response very odd and disproportionate, but interested if you’ve been in the other position

OP posts:

melj1213 · 20/02/2023 22:43

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 22:37

Why would it be appropriate to say something to someone driving dangerously? You're genuinely asking why someone might want to highlight just how dangerous someone's careless actions were? Either the person was oblivious, in which case a wake up call of someone telling them how dangerous their action was should prevent it happening again or they knew what they were doing and didn't care, which is downright reckless and dangerous.

You're assuming she "chased" you as opposed to coincidentally going to the same place - like in my scenario where we were both going to the gym and I happened to see them later and considered telling them just how dangerous their action was. If I'd been going shopping and instead changed course to follow them to the gym then that would count as "chasing" them but this is not what happened.

Original poster

StraightOuttaChorlton · 20/02/2023 22:47

Sounds like we have simply different approaches here. When I was taught to drive, my instructor was clear (under the Highway Code) that we have to accept other drivers may make mistakes and never to approach / make eye contact unless in an accident.
In fact, 147 Highway Code is clear not to engage other drivers and it is not a drivers place to tell another driver if they make an error…

OP posts:

Onnabugeisha · 20/02/2023 22:48

Maybe she was going to the shop anyway.
Maybe she thought she’d mention it in case you did indicate, but your indicator light is broken and she’d save you a police ticket or causing an accident.

We had similar on the motorway the other day at dusk. The motorway splits as it interchanges with another motorway, so you have two left lanes going one way and the two right lanes going another. We got over in left lane and a car to our right suddenly slowed down and as we zipped passed (still below speed limit), we were shocked to see they had been indicating to come over to go the same way we were at the motorway split. But their indicator light on the back of the car was not working….so we had no idea they had been trying to get over- we only noticed when we saw the side of the front….front indicator light on, back of car indicator light dead as a dodo.

Anyway, they got over, behind us, we carried onto the new motorway and we saw they got off at the same exit as we did. We commented to each other that if they follow us all the way to the garden centre, we’d let them know as it’s a safety issue.

Saz12 · 21/02/2023 11:31

My earlier point was that she could’ve been cut up dangerously by a car, and thought it was yours (busy road, similar cars etc), and also been a naturally angry / confrontational person. It’s unlikely you could’ve done something that bad without noticing.

Personally I’d not go telling someone off for failing to indicate, though I’ve had to bite my tongue at the state of insane driving in car park when dropping off / collecting DC’s after hobbies. I can understand why someone would say something to some of the more death-defying manoeuvres in that situation!

pigsDOfly · 21/02/2023 11:44

Seriously weird thing to do.

Maybe she doesn't drive very much because if she did she'd be more aware of the inconsiderate, awful driving of many other road users.

I've been driving for many years and drive with the knowledge that most people no longer indicate, especially at roundabouts, and good many drive use the road as if it's for their personal use and no one else counts. And of course, we all make mistakes at times.

If I followed every non indicating driver I encounter I'd never get to where I'm going.

She sounds a big unhinged tbh.

lazycats · 21/02/2023 11:48

Obviosuly it's deeply weird to follow a driver for miles and get out to tell them off. And anyone on this thread saying otherwise is also deeply weird.

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