To feel guilty for investigating this?

[tearsstreamdownyourface]

Posted about this a few days ago probably under a different NN.

I had a 'funny' early childhood, and strongly suspect I was in care at some point but not very sure - had a lot of 'carers' and childminders at home (in excess of 25 over a long period of time) and have been through 18 social workers over 30 years. Also was looked after my grandparents a few times, and in foster care three times that I can remember.

Also went to a special nursery within the social work building.

I've seen a letter from one parent to a solicitor alleging that my sibling and I were taken into care as it was thought we were being abused.

I've since managed to very carefully talk to that parent, the other one isn't able to communicate due to illness so can't answer me.

I'm at university and have been told I could be entitled to extra help (a lot of help) if I can prove care experience, so they've suggested trying to get evidence.

I've spoken to a lovely lady who's contacted the local authority I lived in back then and she's going to call me tomorrow.

I'm so bloody scared, either she finds something, or she doesn't, but I'm scared of what she might find. If she doesn't, that might be hard too as it'll be like all that experiences are invalidated iyswim.

I'm a bit dreading her phone call. She did say even if she finds nothing it doesn't mean nothing happened, just that there's no proof or records.

Has anyone else ever done this?

It isn't my area of expertise so I won't try to give specific advice, but just be aware that (assuming you're in England and Wales) there are very different levels of support and it isn't as simple as 'not being in care' or 'being in care'.

There are different categories - relevant, former relevant and qualifying care leaver, and the main 'rules' around the categories are about whether you were in care as a teenager and particularly around your 16th birthday. Which category you would come under affects what level of support a person is eligible for in adulthood, and that can range from just being entitled to advice to being entitled to financial support.

In terms of how you identify yourself, you certainly have the right to call yourself 'care experienced', and typically voluntary services/charities and often university support (eg one off grants if available) will consider you eligible for their support if you're care experienced. That is very different from any statutory/legal responsibility from the local authority.

In terms of your status, typically social services have computerised files dating back to around 2007/2008, but also will have a record on the database if a person is known but only had a paper file. Eg if I were to search for an adult who had been in care 30yrs ago I would find a 'front page' with their name and DOB, a marker to tell me how long files have to be kept for and a record of where the paper archive was stored. The rest of the electronic file would be blank, but that record would have been made when things changed from paper files to computer. Pretty sure everywhere I've worked it has been 90yrs plus, based on children who have been in care having a lifetime right to know the history (although there are still sig issues with the quality of record keeping and redacting like you mention)

As others have said, you've done really well to get to uni, so please be proud of yourself for getting so far.

Sorry I've just seen a post that suggests you might be in Scotland, if that's the case apologies as it's a different legal system for children's services!
(Though unis and charities are still likely to be more flexible than any legal definition)

Re the support workers comments about 'for mums benefit' 'maybe not abuse/neglect' - I don't know if Scottish law compares. In E&W, children can be in care by a care order - a legal order that means the local authority share parental responsibility, and have ultimate decision making for the child. Section 20 is mainly when a parent agrees for a child to be cared for voluntarily, eg respite care, a parent in hospital or a parent struggling with a teenagers behaviour. Care orders are more commonly associated with the local authority seeking removal. However it isn't that simple in practice - and the reason for the difference in support here is because S20 is intended to be a short term measure. If a parent was unable to care for a child for a long period of time then the local authority would still seek a care order.

Again, all of that doesn't change a person being care experienced, just about the legal definitions (in eng and Wales at least!)

Thanks so much - yes, I’m in Scotland. Uni support worker’s going to ring me in half an hour to discuss what they’d actually require - SAAS have said it’s just a form that needs countersigned by someone eg a GP or something. I don’t know my GP all that well - by virtue of the fact I think I’ve only seen them face to face once! - but someone else might be able to sign it .

Yes it’s Who Cares I’m speaking to; they’re brilliant - they’ve asked council for a subject access request to see if they can find anything on paper.

It’s so confusing - I remember whenever I was at home with mum there was usually always someone else there, but I’ve no idea how that was organised or why and seemingly neither does anyone else, my dad said he can’t remember at all. I don’t know if some of it was informal or if it was organised by social services.

Hopefully it works out somehow.

so as an adult as I kind of look back in horror thinking if I find it scary now, how terrified must I have been back then) is difficult.

I can’t offer any practical advice but wanted to wish you success in getting all the help you need.

This sentence you wrote resonated with me. People trot out on MN how resilient kids are, on a daily basis. It’s called survival and has lasting effects as adults.

Your whole family must have been under enormous stress, and that impacts the ability to make- and later access- memories. That's one reason schooling can be difficult for care experienced children.

Uni accommodation definitely has benefits! It's consistent and generally well heated for a start! Mine even used to get cleaned. Happy days. The smoke alarm every time anyone made toast was wearing, though!

Good luck, OP.

Uni said this afternoon they'll sign the necessary forms, and accepted as 'care experienced' - said don't need me to hunt for evidence - so all good! Huge relief, the hunting for evidence was bringing up an awful lot!! Thanks so much for all the fab advice on here, it's been really helpful.

So glad to hear that. Good luck with your course!

That's lovely news @tearsstreamdownyourface I'm so glad you'll receive the support you're entitled to.

Think you have been misinformed i was in care and can only get uni help up to age of 24 or until course ends if started before 24

Think your uni found up a loophole

@Bubblesandsqueak1 I'm not sure if the rules are different due to the OP being in Scotland, but anyway it sounds like it's the university offering the support. That's different to the legal duty of the local authority (which in England and Wales is limited to before 25th birthday)
Universities will have their own policies and pots of money about how they support young people who are from backgrounds that mean they are less likely to get to university in the first place.

Scotland there’s no upper age limit; SAAS told me they’re supporting adults who were in care in the 60s and 70s. I think they’re going to tell me the bursary might not happen (because I think I’ve exhausted bursary finding) but the summer accommodation grant would make a huge, huge difference.

@tearsstreamdownyourface I'm so, so glad to read in your update that your uni has come to its senses and got its head around its own processes.

If you have the energy and the inclination (and I'd totally understand if you didnt), I'd be tempted to email the uni team and suggest they make this process easier for students. Asking care experienced students to trawl through their childhoods to prove their childhoods were tough is retraumatising and rather defeats the point of the policy. I understand they need some process and a threshold, but it shouldn't be so hard on the very people it's meant to help. It smacks of being thought up by someone with no clue or experience of childhood trauma.

All that said, don't feel the need to do that if you'd rather just put a lid on it and get on with the here and now. Bloody well done for navigating a beaurocratic system to get the support you're entitled to. Good luck with your studies!

This! Good luck with everything.

In terms of for whose benefit care was, that’s not an issue.
You would have still been a looked after child. You would have had involvement from child social services if you were in foster care as a child.
You don’t need multiple or years of evidence you just need evidence of one placement to be considered a care leaver, a previously looked after child.