This is going to be a bit long winded sorry. I've suspected my dd(7) has ADHD since she was around 2 years old. She didn't speak until she was 2.5 years old - she babbled but other than mum/dad and 2 other words she said nothing recognisable, I brought it up with the health visitor at the time who said not to worry, come back in a few months if still concerned but then she did start talking. She would have epic tantrums to the point of headbutting the floor so hard she'd make herself bleed. She is like the duracell bunny and so, so loud. She never stops talking, will interrupt everyone and is never quiet or still. Ever. She was late to potty train despite my best efforts and again I had the health visitor involved who again dismissed my concerns.
When she started nursery they said how active she was and how outgoing and loud she was, but it was nursery so not concerning. Then she started reception and homeschooling was impossible, she would not focus and it was like I was torturing her when I did try to get her to sit and do work. She was behind when they went into school but lockdown had happened and I was told she'd catch up. Year 1 came and again, I brought up my concerns with a teacher who agreed she was falling further behind and did put her on different books but again, lockdown had happened and she'd catch up eventually. Only now she's in year 2 and her SATS are coming up and I've been told by the school that she's going to fail them, and that's it basically. They aren't doing anything to help her, they seem quite happy to let her fail and just blame me telling me to read with her more at home. (Only me mind you, never her dad who is with her most evenings because I work evenings). I do read with her as much as possible but she will lie on the floor, close to tears saying she can't do it when I ask her to read 1 page. It's not enjoyable for any of us and it's only going to put her off more to be honest, she does have a story read to her every night and has done since she was a baby. I've been to the GP who agreed that she should have an ADHD assessment and said he'd refer her but then the surgery phoned back and said the rules have changed and its down to the school to refer. The school who aren't supporting her at all and haven't listened to me for the last 3 years.
My 3 year old has been treated exactly the same, if anything had less 1 to 1 attention because there's now two children and I work a lot more than when her big sister was little and can recite several books word for word (obviously not actually reading), knows her numbers up to 20 whereas her big sister couldn't do up to 10 by this age and is so much calmer so as much as the school like to blame my parenting, it's not. My eldest also struggles with things like following instructions, remembering tasks, losing items constantly (I know this is normal for 7 year olds but it's honestly excessive). She isn't below average intelligence, the knowledge is there and she can answer questions and read well if we catch her on a good moment but 9/10 it's like drawing blood from a stone. I'm doing all I can but AIBU to think the school should be doing SOMETHING.
I understand there is a lack of funding, I understand teachers are at breaking point I really do but my child is failing and they really don't care. I know year 2 SATS don't matter, but GCSEs will and I don't want her to go through her school life without the support that she clearly needs.