… to ask how to decide between these two jobs. HELP!

[calmama]

I’ve been in a very unhappy job situation with a toxic workplace for years and years. DS is now old enough that I can work full time, assuming a new job will be flexible to enable me to manage everything with him.

To my utter surprise, I have just been told I am the preferred candidate for two jobs I have gone through the interview process for! I think they’ll both be flexible enough - though one seems more than the other.

Pinching myself because I thought I’d never get out of that place and both jobs would be amazing for me in terms of skills and passions, despite both being for quite different organisations.

Both are at reference check stage. My issue is I can’t decide which to choose. I go back and forth almost hourly. I know it’s a good issue to have, but I’m worried about regretting my decision. My current employer has been such a nightmare for me for so long my wrecked self-confidence is still grappling with the fact both organisations want me at all.

Has anyone been faced with this sort of tricky choice? What did you do? Help!

I suspect the uni job has more perks such as better annual leave and extra time off over the Xmas period. Also you can generally study for a reduced rate if you wanted to do something academic

@YesYou Very important! In fact I plan to sort out a hybrid schedule at negotiation stage so it will be in writing in case they change their minds.

In terms of career progression, are there opportunities at both?

job 1 may be better for your CV because of working with people, rather than purely WFH

This sounds silly but it often works. Flip a coin. If the answer feels right then that's good. But if the answer makes your heart sink then you know you really want the other job.

Don't forget to factor in what they will contribute to your pension. A good pension can take a decade or more off your working life and give you many more options come your mid to late 50s.

I WFH full time and wouldn't change it. I dont find it isolating, I talk to my team a fair bit, I'm able to crack on and get loads done that I wouldnt in the office, I have a good balance of getting out on lunch breaks, meeting people for lunch at times, socialising of an evening so I'm not feeling isolated. It doesn't work for some, and works perfectly for others.

In that situation I would go for the university job so that I had the chance to into the office (lonely WFH) and also would think that might be more stable than the other one. I might also try to arrange a chat with the potential manager in each job before accepting any offers to get an idea of how well we might get on.

I worked for an Oxbridge University, which was my dream. The perks are great, good annual leave, pension, flexibility etc. I'm not sure if all Universities are the same but academia is another world. It can be incredibly high pressured and fast paced with high expectations and last minute ridiculous demands. I once had an academic come to me at 4pm saying they needed to submit a grant application by 5pm which just wasn't feasible, but their expectations are very real. I left as it was a toxic department with a toxic manager who impacted my mental health extensively. Previously I'd had a great manager though (who I'm still friends with), so like anywhere it's pot luck.

I would check the University website for details of hybrid working and make sure you get something in writing if you take the job. My experience was that they'd let some people work remotely but not others - even though all jobs could be done from home.

Personally I'm looking for a job that's wfh so I'd take that one but that might not work for you.

I'd go with no1 too. I'd like to be on a university campus I think, and hybrid working sounds perfect. Being there in person might lead to other opportunities for progression. 15 min commute is just long enough to wind down. Perfect.

From the little you’ve said, job 1 would be my choice.

I enjoy FT WFH too. We have a great team dynamic, lots of chat via Teams throughout the day as wanted/needed, and I’m more productive both because I log on earlier, during what would be commuting time, and I can get my head down to complex tasks without all the usual office interruptions.

We’re a geographically dispersed team so there was never an option of going into the office at the start to learn the ropes, but I don’t feel disadvantage or isolated. The team has to be set up to make it work though - we have a “camera on” rule for all 1:1s / small-medium meetings so we’re not just disembodied voices to each other. We also have a short informal catch up each Monday morning to chat about our weekends etc, and a ‘drop in’ social call every other Friday.

If the second job does appeal, OP, I would ask what they do to ensure team cohesion and combat isolation.