To be reading into this/ upset about this about a preschooler

[Seaglass87]

My daughter is 3. She will be 4 in May.
We applied for her school choices back in January and were happy at the time but now I feel like I've made a massive mistake. I just have this gut feeling I can't shake.
My daughter comes home most days and says three of the boys are mean to her as they call her "baby" and say "poo poo" to her. She says they don't do this to anyone else. However as we all know three year olds aren't the most reliable historians.

I've spoken to her teachers and she said one of these boys and her seem to be close at school. However when I ask her if she wants to invite him over to play she says no because he is mean to her. She does mention other children consistently in a positive light and names these three boys consistently in a bad light.

At a child's birthday party my husband saw this child wrestle my daughter to the ground. He said it was playful but he didn't like it as she's tiny (second centile).

I was bullied at school and spent a lot of primary school with no friends so I know I'm liking massively projecting my situation onto her, but I just can't shake the feeling that it's a massive mistake sending her there.
Otherwise the school is pretty good. It has lovely teachers, a great head and lovely outdoor space.

Am I overthinking this or should I trust my instincts?

I have no idea if I can even do anything now anyway as the applications are closed but I can't stop thinking about it.

Are your worries about whether your DD will be at school with these 3 boys, or is it about how the school deals with bullying?

At this point in the year, you presumably won’t know for sure which schools any of the children will end up in.

Just to add she also consistently tells us which children are nice and why they are nice, so I feel there has to be some truth to it.

what is it you are worried about|? I dont find your op particularly clear

Sorry for the confusion. I'm worried about her staying at school with these boys and them continuing to "pick" on her. This coupled with the fact the teacher seems oblivious to it and thinks they're friends. I haven't seen it for myself so the teacher would be right and my daughter could be talking nonsense, but I don't understand how I can get two such conflicting stories.

For into the preschool is attached to the school and they're all in catchment

She will presumably have a different teacher next year, and may not be in the same class as the boys. They may not be going to that school. The social dynamics could change in all sorts of ways. None of this is to minimise what is currently happening or the teacher's failure to deal with it, but I don't think you should let this make you anxious about her school experience if you are otherwise happy with the school you have chosen.

arrange a meeting with the teacher and get her to look into this properly and deal with it - your daughter shouldnt have to put up with that

How many classes are there in the main school? If it’s 2 or more firm intake you could ask the school to consider placing her in a separate class.

Even if she is in the same reception class, things are very different to preschool. The teacher will be different and there will be more structure and boundaries. Plus friendship groups change dramatically in reception so you may well find that they lose interest in her.

Having said that, September is a long way off so you should definitely speak again to the current teacher and ask her to monitor more closely.

*form intake, not firm.

I wouldnt move school when you like it for every other reason. I'm sure the teachers would have seen if there was an actual issue here. When I childminded one of the boys who was 3 went home and told his Mum that one of the girls who was 3 was nasty to him and said nasty things. It was in fact the opposite way round and it was him who had been nasty to her and I had to tell him off for it. 3 year olds can come up with all kinds.