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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be suspicious of this

32 replies

Ncforthis115 · 19/02/2023 20:08

DH had a day at work yesterday (as a one off at the weekend - this was already scheduled a few weeks ago). Had to wear smart clothes for that. Left about 11am and came back after 4pm. Came back looking different to when he left. Shirt untucked and unbuttoned on top etc. I've noticed that he looked different and pointed this out to him. He said he went to work gym afterwards, showered there and changed back.
He ddn't have gym bag with him though?

He never goes to that gym, his usual gym is a training class at a different place and when he goes there he changes in gym clothes at home and takes a shower at home when he's back.

This evening said he'll pop in there again and be back in a couple of hours. He packed a bag and left, again wearing normal clothes.

I may add that we haven't been intimate since our DC was born 18 months ago.

Am I overthinking this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ncforthis115 · 19/02/2023 22:46

So he came back about an hour ago, wearing normal clothes, but when I asked he said he showered and changed at the gym. He then went to lay down with our toddler.
I went downstairs and had a peak into his gym bag, there was indeed a wet towel and some worn gym clothes inside. So it's looking ok.

Re: the intimacy, I don't think there's anything wrong, it's more that we are drained as we don't have any family support nearby and are busy with full time jobs and battling nursery bugs. We also take turns in cosleepimg with the little one, so there aren't many opportunities for intimacy. Tbf neither of us initiated anything yet, hoping things will change at some point.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 19/02/2023 23:09

Ncforthis115 · 19/02/2023 22:46

So he came back about an hour ago, wearing normal clothes, but when I asked he said he showered and changed at the gym. He then went to lay down with our toddler.
I went downstairs and had a peak into his gym bag, there was indeed a wet towel and some worn gym clothes inside. So it's looking ok.

Re: the intimacy, I don't think there's anything wrong, it's more that we are drained as we don't have any family support nearby and are busy with full time jobs and battling nursery bugs. We also take turns in cosleepimg with the little one, so there aren't many opportunities for intimacy. Tbf neither of us initiated anything yet, hoping things will change at some point.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Uh oh, OP. A damp towel? That would be the absolute minimum he'd have to do to keep up the lie if indeed he were seeing somebody behind your back. You asked if you were overthinking things, and many replies said you weren't.

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 19/02/2023 23:15

@uhOhOP have you created an account just to stir? Those comments were before this latest info and you just seem to be being quite provoking here.

Applesandcarrots · 19/02/2023 23:19

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 19/02/2023 23:15

@uhOhOP have you created an account just to stir? Those comments were before this latest info and you just seem to be being quite provoking here.

I said few times I am sure some people stir shit and give bad advice on purpose here. Just to watch someone's world burn

IrritableCowSyndrome · 20/02/2023 03:50

NellietheElephantpackedhertrunks · 19/02/2023 20:25

Not sure but TBH the temptation must be very strong if he has been starved of sex for that long.

Seriously?!

Who said HE has been starved of sex?

Pseudonamed · 20/02/2023 07:48

I dunno, I went without for years when single. The less I had the less I thought about it. Im sure men cant be all that different.

billyt · 20/02/2023 08:56

Pseudonamed · 20/02/2023 07:48

I dunno, I went without for years when single. The less I had the less I thought about it. Im sure men cant be all that different.

Due to my OHs health, we haven't had sex in over a decade. I assure you, I haven't stopped thinking about it Grin

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