TW mentions abuse - What would you do here?

[Thepurplelantern]

If a relatively distant family member who peripherally participated in sweeping the abuse (CSA) that happened to you as a child under the rug and peripherally participated in the subsequent scapegoating of you by your entire family knocked on your door what would you do and what would you say to them?

Would you hear them out even though you know that in the past they have demonstrated that they a very distorted idea of what happened to you and up until this point they have shown you no support.

I would say fuck off

I’d slam the door in their face.

Are you okay @Thepurplelantern ?

@Tilllly thank you for asking

Are you okay @Thepurplelantern ?

I am okay and although this probably doesn’t make much sense because the likelihood of this person turning up is actually very remote given what they have chosen to do in this situation but I still have huge anxiety about them doorstepping me and I still don’t have an answer for what I would do.

Which way round is the AIBU?
I was a victim of csa too. If someone turned up in the way you describe I wouldn’t let them in or speak to them. I’d allow them to communicate in writing to see if they wanted to apologise or hear my side. If they just wanted to make excuses for themselves or try to persuade me that it didn’t happen the way I remembered, I’d give them the bollocking of a lifetime, tell them how wrong it is to do that, and block them.
I’m glad this hasn’t actually happened to you though. Hopefully you’ll never see them.

If they turn up, stay calm and say “I don’t wish to speak to you, please go away.”

Because that’s the truth. They can say and do and be however they are but you have control, you can stay calm, ask them to leave. If they persist you can contact the police.

@FictionalCharacter

Which way round is the AIBU?

Sorry I meant to do what

AIBU to shut them down completely?

YABU to refuse to hear them out.

YANBU to refuse to hear them out.

I don't think there is anything unreasonable in either scenario - it all depends what you feel comfortable with and what you'd want to do. If you aren't sure either way it would also be OK to tell them to leave as theyve taken you by surprse but you'd (for instance) be happy to hear from them in writing and go from there.

AIBU to shut them down completely?

Not at all, you owe them nothing. You don't have to engage with them at all if you don't want to.

Be prepared that if you did give them the chance to tell their side it likely won't make you feel any better or give you any form of closure.

What @Dodecaheidyin said!

Practice a couple of sentences that you can trot out if it does happen

Maybe get a ring doorbell so you can see who is at your door?