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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anxiety due to mounting pressures at work as mat leave approaches?

34 replies

Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 15:46

Hi,

I am not sure what I am after here. Maybe a rant, maybe advice, maybe empathy/similar stories?

I am due to go on mat leave mid-April and the pressures to complete projects are mounting. It suddenly seems to have dawned on my manager that I will be off in a few weeks and is being very stressy with me, telling me that this and that needs to be completed by x amount of time before I head off. On top of this, I need to train others and set goals for the coming weeks as part of my review process and I’m really struggling with the idea of possibly not being able to complete them and failing the team.

All this pressure has suddenly taken my attention away from my wellbeing and pregnancy. Up until last week I was enjoying being pregnant, focusing on baby prep and relaxing on time off. Now I am lying awake at night thinking about work with palpitations during the day and a lack of appetite for food or much else. It seems I can’t think about anything else but work.

All of this has made me consider the last resort which I’d dread: requesting a sick note from my GP for a couple of weeks.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 17:34

lanthanum · 19/02/2023 17:29

When you plan out what needs to be done, it may be worth also factoring in the possibility that the baby turns up early. It may be sense to prioritise sooner anything which is essential (eg writing down handover information that only you know). Then come back to the projects which if necessary can be completed without you.

(Someone had to visit me in the maternity ward to collect my filing cabinet key. Fortunately everything was ready to picked up by others 3 weeks earlier than expected.)

This! I've already brought this up... so if I've got a few weeks left, we can't assume I'll be around for all of those weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 17:36

Led9519 · 19/02/2023 17:25

Yep rather than take time off due to this you need to think calmly what can happen. I’d even put in some handover meetings with the team/boss before Mat leave then when he puts on pressure again I’d say ‘I’m working towards having the projects at that state but we have handover meetings in and anything ongoing or outstanding will be outlined.” If he is still going on I’d tell him not to worry/panic! He may not realise he’s putting extra pressure on.
I found it hard to concentrate at the end of my pregnancies so wrote a to do list each morning of things to get done or if they didn’t roll onto tomorrows list. It helps focus the mind.
I wouldn’t go on sick because it doesn’t solve anything, you’d come back to more pressure and I’m not sure if you kept going sick they could justify starting your May leave early. Best to calmly consider how to approach your remaining weeks at work.

Agreed, taking time off would mean returning to more work... there's no one else to do my job at the moment. This is why it would be my absolute last resort, which probably just wouldn't solve anything!

OP posts:
Blaggingit123 · 19/02/2023 17:36

If you’re having palpitations you need to see your midwife or GP - I had similar in my second pregnancy, my resting heart rate was v high and the midwife referred me to an urgent care appointment, I ended up having a heart scan and a sick note was sorted that meant I was working half hours but didn’t have to start my leave early - your body is already under significant strain so adding work stress to it is not good. Good luck.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 19/02/2023 17:40

Write out a complete list of tasks. Include all handover in detail. Ie hand task x over to y, hand task a over to b.

Put the tasks in (what you think) is priority order. Make sure all the handover tasks are high up as they are what really matters.

Calculate percentage done of each task.

Do the exercise as listed above about time available vs time needed so you have a good idea how much can get done.

Send to boss and say - “this is my list of tasks that would ideally be done before mat leave - by my calcs probably only items 1 to 18 will get done. Are there any changes you want me to make to the order?”

Once you have a confirmed order from your boss, work through the list roughly in order. Send regular updates on percentages so boss knows what is going on and you have a record of what you are getting done.

Original poster
Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 17:40

Blaggingit123 · 19/02/2023 17:36

If you’re having palpitations you need to see your midwife or GP - I had similar in my second pregnancy, my resting heart rate was v high and the midwife referred me to an urgent care appointment, I ended up having a heart scan and a sick note was sorted that meant I was working half hours but didn’t have to start my leave early - your body is already under significant strain so adding work stress to it is not good. Good luck.

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that... I will get this checked during my next appointment. Thank you

OP posts:
ladymacbeth · 19/02/2023 18:05

Op you posted about this yesterday so it's clearly bothering you. Best thing is to set this goals and keep them realistic. Then focus on working to get those complete and ignore everything else

Original poster
Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 18:18

ladymacbeth · 19/02/2023 18:05

Op you posted about this yesterday so it's clearly bothering you. Best thing is to set this goals and keep them realistic. Then focus on working to get those complete and ignore everything else

Yep I’ll need to take this approach to remain focused as possible. Thank you xx

OP posts:
unstoppable1 · 19/02/2023 18:54

@Flounder19 just think of that little baby. Just look after yourself and put that little heartbeat first, that's what I'm implying 💙

Original poster
Flounder19 · 19/02/2023 19:17

@unstoppable1 of course and I appreciate! I come on here for a reality check 😊 thank you xx

OP posts:
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