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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why does this bother me?

28 replies

Saju1 · 19/02/2023 15:23

So I have some clothes, bags and shoes I want to give away to charity, but first I decided to call my aunt and cousin to check if they would like them first.

I have never taken clothes etc to a charity, but decided this might be the best option, as I would like to sell them on Facebook market place, but I'm scared I might get someone strange coming to my home from there, and also I need to get rid of everything quickly ( no room in my house).

I called my aunt and she said "no need to send me any pictures of the things you have, I'll take it all! I am selling things at a bootsale and will sell them there"

Now I guess if I am giving them for free to a charity, why does it bother me that my sister could make money from these items!

Btw she will not be giving me any money from these, and some of the items are ted baker, fat face, next etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Saju1 · 19/02/2023 15:24

Sort, meant to write aunt

OP posts:
Original poster
Saju1 · 19/02/2023 15:25

Now I guess if I am giving them for free to a charity, why does it bother me that my sister could make money from these items?

Also, this was a question, sorry for the typos

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 19/02/2023 15:26

Well you can’t be bothered to sell them (fine), and she can (also fine).
She’s putting the effort in, not you, so why should you get the money for it?

JarByTheDoor · 19/02/2023 15:26

Couldn't you reply "that's great, 50/50 split on the proceeds good with you?"

watchfulwishes · 19/02/2023 15:28

Saju1 · 19/02/2023 15:25

Now I guess if I am giving them for free to a charity, why does it bother me that my sister could make money from these items?

Also, this was a question, sorry for the typos

It could be you feel you want the money they're getting but CBA to do the work or you wanted to donate to charity.

I'd give my aunt a few bits & donate the rest.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 19/02/2023 15:28

You could sell them at a boot sale if you wanted - up to you whether you want to make the effort.

fastandthecurious1 · 19/02/2023 15:29

No I would find this rude u less you had said you were perhaps binning them or something.

I've had this recently I lent my DHs cousin my cozee next to me for her baby and it's been months past her using it but we have both forgot to mention it I asked if she was done with it as I was having a clear out and sell session and she had already sold it 4 months ago straight after baby out grew it...

Point is it's rude to not ask you like 'oh I might not use them but I love selling so happy to take them all off your hands if you need me too'

FictionalCharacter · 19/02/2023 15:30

Sister or aunt?
Were you offering them in case she wanted them for herself, not to sell? If so I wouldn’t like it either if she wanted to take the lot to sell.
You could offer them to her to sell in return for a share of the proceeds to give to your chosen charity.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2023 15:32

So send her the less nice stuff, and sell stuff yourself. Send it on vinted so you post it and they don't know who you are.

massivesalads · 19/02/2023 15:33

Your auntie or sister?

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 15:35

Because you want the money but you're too lazy to sell them yourself. Basically.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/02/2023 15:36

fastandthecurious1 · 19/02/2023 15:29

No I would find this rude u less you had said you were perhaps binning them or something.

I've had this recently I lent my DHs cousin my cozee next to me for her baby and it's been months past her using it but we have both forgot to mention it I asked if she was done with it as I was having a clear out and sell session and she had already sold it 4 months ago straight after baby out grew it...

Point is it's rude to not ask you like 'oh I might not use them but I love selling so happy to take them all off your hands if you need me too'

This is a very different situation.

dontgobaconmyheart · 19/02/2023 15:38

Take the higher value items out then and sell them yourself on ebay or vinted? The rest can go to the bootsale.

Otherwise there's nothing stopping you from replying with "Thanks but not to worry, I was passing the charity shop so they've already gone"

If you absolutely don't want to do anything that involves your own effort with the clothes then I'd just let her take them and sell them and stop making something out of it there doesn't need to be. You want them gone and she's taking them off your hands. It will be her that has to stand in the cold selling them for a few pounds and it isn't as though some second hand Next, Fat Face and Ted Baker are going to earn her a small fortune.

PuppyMonkey · 19/02/2023 15:42

I think it’s at least better the aunt/sister was up front and said yeah I’ll sell them thanks rather than saying she’d like the items for herself and then OP later sees them for sale in FB Marketplace. Which is what usually happens on these threads.Grin

donttellmehesalive · 19/02/2023 15:43

I guess you liked the idea of someone wanting them and appreciating them, not selling them to make some cash.

I think it's a bit cheeky of her. I'd have said I'd sell them for you at the car boot sale and split the cash, or say you could come with me and sell them yourself.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 19/02/2023 15:45

Say to her then that you will need some of that cash that she makes but will she be honest in what she makes? Does she need cash more or earn less than you. Seems a bit cheeky of her to be honest and she should have offered you some money.

Fixed · 19/02/2023 15:47

I'd reply and say ah dont worry about it I'll throw them on Vinted actually, thanks for the offer of selling them though......

JMSA · 19/02/2023 15:48

That was cheeky of her and very presumptuous! YANBU.
Either a 50/50 split (maybe with you helping at the car boot) or they go to charity. Hopefully you'll give the stuff you don't sell to charity anyway.

lottiegarbanzo · 19/02/2023 15:51

You wanted her to acknowledge the quality and value of your lovely things. She sees them purely as 'trash for cash'. This makes you feel your kind offer is unappreciated, in the way you intended.

You could give them to a charity shop, which will get good value out of them, both in financial and buyer appreciation terms. They will say thank you.

UsingChangeofName · 19/02/2023 16:06

I guess you are just cross with yourself that you can't be bothered to put the work in of either trying to sell them at a car boot, or sell them on line.

You have decided that your time is worth more than any cash you might make.
She has decided that she is putting the work in and doing the car boot, so, if there is stuff you are giving away, she might see if it can make her a few ££

She is being open about it. Your choice if you decide to try selling it yourself, give the stuff to her, or give it to a charity shop.

PokemonPasta · 19/02/2023 16:13

Seems like a perfect situation for thrift.plus

honestlyno · 19/02/2023 16:40

Personally, I'd be more than happy for a family member to take stuff I didn't want off my hands, and if they make a few quid good luck to them!

DelphiniumBlue123 · 20/02/2023 08:22

Put them on vinted.

DurhamDurham · 20/02/2023 08:30

I've never read a post where auntie and sister have been so interchangeable 😆

Aprilx · 20/02/2023 09:22

JarByTheDoor · 19/02/2023 15:26

Couldn't you reply "that's great, 50/50 split on the proceeds good with you?"

She was giving the clothes away, either to the charity or to relatives. If OP can’t be bothered to put the effort into selling that is her loss. Very cheeky to ask for half of the proceeds in this scenario.