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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to double barrel surname following split?

13 replies

Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 13:13

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not. I always it double barreled their dad insisted on just his surname now we are no longer together I hate having a different surname to them. My friend said I'm bu as I didn't insist on it from the start why change it now. So I feel like I'm in the wrong to suggest it

OP posts:
WeCome1 · 19/02/2023 13:15

Who would double barrel, you or your children?

ladykale · 19/02/2023 13:17

I would double barrel their name so that it shares something of yours!

Never understand unmarried people giving their kids their partners' surname only!

fruitbrewhaha · 19/02/2023 13:19

Depends on the names, it can end up
being such a mouthful and long to fill out on forms etc. My family dropped a surname from double barrel some generations back for this reason (awkward spellings too). What do the kids want?

Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 13:35

WeCome1 · 19/02/2023 13:15

Who would double barrel, you or your children?

I would double barrel my kids names to share my own and their fathers

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 19/02/2023 13:36

What's on the birth certificate?

Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 13:36

ladykale · 19/02/2023 13:17

I would double barrel their name so that it shares something of yours!

Never understand unmarried people giving their kids their partners' surname only!

This was why I initially wanted it as we wasn't married and he said that he wasn't sure he wanted to marry but wanted his name only so I gave in

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 19/02/2023 13:37

If he has PR he’d have to agree to any change of name.

How old are your children? Are they old enough to have an opinion?

Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 13:37

fruitbrewhaha · 19/02/2023 13:19

Depends on the names, it can end up
being such a mouthful and long to fill out on forms etc. My family dropped a surname from double barrel some generations back for this reason (awkward spellings too). What do the kids want?

It's not too much of a mouthful one is 5 letters long the other 6 letters. My eldest would like it double barreled my youngest I'm not sure completely understands just said would be cool to have mummy and daddies name

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 13:39

He does have PR and I'm sure he would agree at this stage as it's what I've always wanted especially as we wasn't married. They are 12 & 7

OP posts:
AFS1 · 19/02/2023 13:43

ladykale · 19/02/2023 13:17

I would double barrel their name so that it shares something of yours!

Never understand unmarried people giving their kids their partners' surname only!

Never bothers me in the slightest. I’m not keen on my surname, but I need to keep it for professional purposes. Quite happy with my kids having their dad’s much nicer surname. Hasn’t ever caused the slightest difficulty having 2 different names.

OP, you would need your ex’s consent or an order from the court, but if your 12 yr old wants to change it, it will carry considerable weight for any judge if your ex decided to be awkward about it.

Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 14:11

AFS1 · 19/02/2023 13:43

Never bothers me in the slightest. I’m not keen on my surname, but I need to keep it for professional purposes. Quite happy with my kids having their dad’s much nicer surname. Hasn’t ever caused the slightest difficulty having 2 different names.

OP, you would need your ex’s consent or an order from the court, but if your 12 yr old wants to change it, it will carry considerable weight for any judge if your ex decided to be awkward about it.

Show quote history

Thank you for this it's handy to know if he does try kick up a fuss I'm sure if my eldest says that's what she wants then he will accept her wishes and I hope he won't fight it

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 19/02/2023 14:13

If he wont allow it you could change your name to your children’s name. It’s not just his.

Original poster
Anonymou574 · 19/02/2023 14:18

KangarooKenny · 19/02/2023 14:13

If he wont allow it you could change your name to your children’s name. It’s not just his.

I didn't even think of this. Thank you that would definitely be an option

OP posts:
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