AIBU to want to borrow £££ to

[cherry2727]

Extend our house ? We bought a small 2 bed 1930s semi less than 10 years ago and haven't done much to it since .
Dh and I now in a comfortable position financially after years of struggling . We have circa £2k of disposable income after bills . Not life changing but it's a lot to us as I've worked hard to get to a very good place in my career .

We have about £200k equity in the house and I suggested that we could borrow £100k with a repayment of £800 over 15 years to extend the property . It's quite small ( open plan) and doesn't work well for entertaining and downstairs space . He nearly hit the roof! We ended up arguing and him saying that I was trying to drag us into financial ruin! I work so hard and I just feel like we are stuck in this small house and I have little prospects of having a more comfortable home or even buying a bigger house.For background he is very laid back and I'm a lot more ambitious if that helps .

I honestly don't want to put us into financial ruin but I just assumed that this was the natural progression as we couldn't afford to move house . Isn't that what most people in our position do? I'm really curious whether I'm asking for too much? How do people afford extensions without saving for a decade ? Am I really in the wrong to suggest such? I am new to all of this and just assumed that everyone borrowed more to invest into their property. He isn't speaking to me and doesn't want to discuss it further . I feel soo deflated but also open to whether I am being unreasonable. Thank you

@LIZS I've learnt a new term "port" didn't even know that was a thing! I've spent the last few hours googling so thank you all and I think have a few things to explore on Monday! Thanks all- I really appreciate your feedback .

So you could save £100k in 4 years if you put your mind to it.

But instead, you want to borrow, then spend 15 years paying back a total of £144k.

No wonder your H is a little ... underwhelmed by the notion.

There's nothing to feel ashamed of!

We all like to dream, it can be very motivating.
But why borrow, when you don't absolutely have to?
Instead, why not overpay your current mortgage, bring down that £150k outstanding on it. A fwe years of that, & you could be looking at enough equity to either extend, or sell up & go for something larger.

Looking to borrow money (with interest rates rising!) when you have £2k a month to spare is madness - get that disposable income working for you.

I don’t think your husband responded very well… maybe you have oversized ideas often?

OP has proposed an idea that is not financially viable nor good business sense....... therefore it is completely her fault that her H is sulking like a child? !! He also shouts and swears at OP if they disagree but somehow this has been lost in this thread telling her repeatedly that "no wonder he's upset" Give me strength

There's no need to polarise positions like this.

Both OP & her H are upset.
He's feeling overfaced by her ambition & initial plan to take on unnecessary borrowing.
She's fed up because he doesn't communicate well.

These are 2 separate issues. It's not helpful to conflate them, or to minimise the H's upset. Best for OP to wait a couple of days, then raise both issues, maybe even bringing in some mediation if her H finds it so hard to talk rationally without retreating into a childish fug.

Think about when your current deal ends and likely interest rates when that happens too.

Speak to a proper independent broker about porting. Not all lenders will let you. I work for one!

You will categorically not be able to borrow the rest on the same rate but you will have 2 parts on a higher and lower rate which should even out a bit.

And the same would apply to remortgaging on your current house - the additional mortgage would be on the higher rate.

We extended two years ago just as material shortages were biting. We managed to get ours in at a decent price - almost half of what I'm hearing friends are being quoted now. Even then it was slightly touch and go at times and our lead builder was literally spending half his time driving round trying to secure key supplies such as windowsills. I absolutely would not be extending now given interest rate rises, material shortages and overall uncertainty re. the economy.

@DashboardConfessional You will categorically not be able to borrow the rest on the same rate but you will have 2 parts on a higher and lower rate which should even out a bit.
Ah I did think I was probably being a bit too optimistic here- thanks

Have you had a couple of quotes? They can vary massively. I paid significantly less in 2021 (for more by the sounds of it). Although I appreciate prices are regional and have increased.

What was your plan when you bought this house together? If its changed, maybe its time to sit down and discuss how you picture the next 10/20 years. Housing/pensions etc

Now sounds like a great time to start planning how to have more space when your ds is a bit older.

Quite frankly I am very tired. Yes he is very laid back . I don't think being laid back equates to lack of ambition however he is too laidback to the extent where he never takes an interest in anything. He wouldnt know who our mortgage lender is , our utility provider or how much any of our monthly expenses are . So yes , whilst I've accepted that I was being unreasonable , a lot of the thinking and decision making lies with me hence I will always be at fault for making wrong suggestions, which seem to always be his stance . It's a very safe position and I applaud him for that!

Whilst I now agree that borrowing more is not a good idea , his suggestions are not any better . He doesn't have any factual reasoning for not wanting to borrow money other than it is a debt yet he thinks we should buy him a stupid car worth 17k! Hence why I wanted to do something worthwhile with the disposal income - it's all going to be poured down the drain in ideas which add very little quality to our daily life!

I've had a conversation this morning with him and now I'm even more upset so i shall leave this for now and calm down a bit .

I've released approx £70k equity and extended my property twice over the last 8 years. Best thing I ever did! It's practically doubled the value of the house and as I overpay (which you could easily do with £2k spare each month) it's working out that I'll pay it all off way quicker than the original timescale. If you can afford it - which it looks like you can - I don't see the problem. As long as there's no cap on the value of the houses on your street, I'd go for it.

One more thing... you will lose your low rate mortgage if you release equity. You'll be remortgaging the property...

It sounds as if he’s against moving as well op. I agree a car is money down the drain whilst money in housing is an investment,

You have £2000 spare per month and yet you have no savings?

What is your pension provision? That's the first thing I'd look at, as well as investing in S&S ISAs.

But ultimately it should be possible to move to a larger property with so much spare cash.

Did you spring this on him? If so if you leave it a while he may have got more used to the idea. My DH is a bit like that if I suggest something (expensive) out of the blue his first reaction is no way, but by the time we actually do it, it was his idea! Or how about a large conservatory as a compromise, I haven't looked for a long time but we did that when we couldn't afford an extension, it was much cheaper and gave a good bit of extra living space.

That is a very big increase in mortgage repayment. I would not be keen.

*@FlowerArranger You have £2000 spare per month and yet you have no savings?

What is your pension provision? That's the first thing I'd look at, as well as investing in S&S ISAs.*
We've only been in this positing for the last two years and so spent the first year repaying debts which we owed. We then had our bathroom done and we are now here so managed to save a bit but not years worth of income . Essentially we could save more I suppose .

I contribute 5% towards my pension and my employer contributes 3% but haven't really thought of contributing more or investing . I haven't heard of this ISA so will take a look .

@Greentree1 well yes I did spring it on him but how else do you bring up suggestions ? I don't mind him disagreeing it's the massive argument and blame game which comes with it I don't like . Also I feel like I'm always in the firing line as I make suggestions . I do understand that it takes some people a while to absorb new ideas - he was initially like this when I proposed buying this house but subsequently he agreed and was pleased that he did . I'm soo scared of making the wrong move but I feel like I can't just sit back and dwindle the money on making the house "prettier" and buying takeaways and nice clothes !

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn this is what I was hoping for us also. I will speak to an estate agent tomorrow and find out how much value it may add, if any. This was initially my thought process why I made this suggestion - but I guess my timing with high interest rates is making the idea a bit more risky than I initially perceived.

8% seems quite a low amount to put into retirement investment, especially since your husband is a low earner. What are your ages and how big are your respective pension pots? No need to tell me, but you need to know. And plan accordingly!

I'm also surprised that you've not heard of ISAs.

A 17k car?!

OK so you're planning how to make your house a bit more spacious as your son gets older.

He's planning an expensive car for himself.

What other plans does he have for your future I wonder.

I think there is so much to unpick here OP.

firstly I agree now is not the time construction costs are high - we did our loft all in for 65k last year it’s not the time

but there is a general sense of unhappiness in your posts that he wants the car and won’t listen to you

I think you can add to your mortgage as a separate bit. So the main mortgage stays as is and then the additional borrowing runs along side it. The new bit would be at a higher rate, the current rate stays on the rest until it was due to end anyway.

The important bit here is to make sure you stress test current borrowing and the additional borrowing combined at a higher rate.