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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women with sisters are often better at female friendships?

84 replies

Tartanchair01 · 18/02/2023 13:08

I only have 1 sibling, a brother.

I would say I’ve struggled with female friendships my whole life. I do now have lots of good, female friends but this has taken years of work and I still now am not good in a group of women.

I’ve observed over the years that my friends who have sisters all seem to also have lots of female friends and don’t seem to struggle in big, female groups, in fact I’d say they are the people I know who do have big, female friendship groups.

I’ve always thought perhaps it’s because they’re so used to how to be around other women and can navigate the common issues surrounding female friendships and female friendship groups better than women that have grown up with a lot of male siblings (well, can navigate them better than me anyway 🙈)

Obviously this is a purely anecdotal observation lol, but it’s got me thinking.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 18/02/2023 13:10

I agree. I have brothers and can't get into close friendships with women. I do have women friends, but we're not as close as some female friendships.
I also find that only children are good at making friends. It's having brothers rather than sisters that makes the difference.

Rosafiona · 18/02/2023 13:11

I struggle a bit. I have two sisters, so 🤷

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/02/2023 13:12

Oh that's interesting! I have an older dd and a younger ds. Dd seems fine at socialising with boys and girls, but definetly struggles navigating the social norms of tween girl friendships. I thought maybe she was just a bit socially awkward but maybe it's because she doesn't have a sister.

Remmy123 · 18/02/2023 13:12

I have brothers and have loads of female friends who are really good mates

SpinningFloppa · 18/02/2023 13:13

No I disagree I've always struggled with friendship s and have a sister

LolaSmiles · 18/02/2023 13:13

I'm not sure.
Anecdotally I think it depends on the relationship they have.

Some people I know have fantastic sisterly relationships and are best friends, others get on well as siblings but are very much their own person, and others have shared quite damaging dynamics between them and their sister, often stirred up by the mother.

Some people aren't comfortable in large social groups, regardless of their siblings.

Popplcroft · 18/02/2023 13:13

I don’t have a sister and I have lots of female friends. H2h

FordCreek · 18/02/2023 13:15

YABU my mum has a few sisters and cannot get on with other women really and I have no sisters and a zillion female friends.

KimmySchmitt · 18/02/2023 13:16

I don't think it has anything to do with it tbh. Sometimes it can hinder it, I know a set of twins who just relied on each other and now as adults struggle to make friends. I have a sister and have always struggled to maintain friendships. I think it just comes down to personality and confidence

89ghud · 18/02/2023 13:16

Interesting, I have a brother and sons and yes haven't got any meaningful female relationships that have lasted;
acquaintances, lots of women I like, would love a couple of female friends, but always seem to struggle to get to "the next level". We have moved around a lot though which hasn't helped, also been with my husband since high school, he's my best friend, so I suspect I have just always had him and perhaps not been as available as others making friends when single. So it may be an aspect of it but I don't think it is a big factor.

CrackedLookingGlass · 18/02/2023 13:18

I don’t think it’s generally true. I’m not close to either of my sisters, but have close, sustaining female friendships. Three of these friends, who have a real gift for friendships with other women (and friendship in general) are (1) estranged for decades from their only sister (2) has only a brother and (3) is an only child.

2chocolateoranges · 18/02/2023 13:22

I have a brother and I’m perfectly fine at making friendships, I’m a quality over quantity type of person.

I have a few friends who have only x sisters and I find them pretty selfish at times and have a “girl gang mentality” .

AlmostSummer21 · 18/02/2023 13:25

YANBU to think whatever you want.

I totally disagree with you though.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 18/02/2023 13:25

I have four brothers, no sisters.

I've always found friendship easy and have a close network of female friends.

Puddleofgoo · 18/02/2023 13:25

Hmm I have a sister. We are close. She is very social and has a large group of female friends. I've always struggled with friendships 🤷‍♀️

mamabear715 · 18/02/2023 13:28

I agree, @LolaSmiles . I have a sister but hate large girly gatherings, hell, most gatherings, come to that! Just my personality, I guess. :-)

SpaceJamtart · 18/02/2023 13:30

I have a sister, we have always been very close. I find female friendships easy and am close friends with a few big groups of women.
My sister has always stuggled with female groups, I don't know why as she is very fun and easy to talk to, she just doesn't seem to fit in them properly, she was always in mixed sex groups.

SnowyPetals · 18/02/2023 13:33

I think in some ways it's the opposite. I only have brothers, didn't have female company on tap at home, so learnt to work to develop and nurture my female friendships outside of the home.

ILoveASpreadsheet · 18/02/2023 13:38

Were there no females present in your family? My mother, her mother and my gran’s sister plus a couple of my mum’s friends had such a positive impact on me growing up. I’ve two brothers and I have lots of female friends. Thinking about it the friends that I see the most of, out of the six of them one is an only child, two just have sisters and the other three have one brother each. I never wanted a sister either as the arguments that school friends had with their sisters always seemed far worse than any disagreements that I had with my brothers.

FKATondelayo · 18/02/2023 13:41

No, I have 2 sisters. One struggles with friendship, one is the most popular person ever with loads of girl gangs and I am somewhere in between.

One of my friends is an only child and she is great at nurturing sisterly friendships because she hasn't got any ready made siblings.

HundredMilesAnHour · 18/02/2023 13:41

I'm an only child so where does that leave me? Friendless? 😂

This morning I went to the gym and trained with a group of female friends I met at the gym and we now go out for coffee (after gym) every Sat morning and do brunches/dinners etc. We've been friends for approx 1 year.

Tonight I'm going to a dinner party at a female friend's house. We've been close friend for over 30 years (met at uni, lived together as grads when we started working). Our lives have changed a lot but we're still good friends.

I have plenty of female friends ranging from my best friend at age 5 through to my recent/new gym friends.

Same goes for male friends. Plenty of those too. I actually have 4 'closest' friends (these are the people I leave everything to in my will if something happens to my family), 2 men and 2 women so a perfect 50/50 split.

emptythelitterbox · 18/02/2023 13:42

What do you mean by common issues?

I don't see why friendships with women would be that different.

That said, I have 5 sisters and struggle with friendships but that's because I'm ND and friendships aren't as important to me as they were in my youth.

My one sister with ASD seems to do well with friendships.

userxx · 18/02/2023 13:42

No, I'm an only child and have loads of really good female friends.

Berlinlover · 18/02/2023 13:45

I had one brother and my mother died when I was ten so I grew up without another female in the home. I have always struggled with female friendships.

bunhead1979 · 18/02/2023 13:47

I would love to have a sister!

i don’t know if you’re right or not, I struggle with friendships with women but it’s cause I’m autistic.