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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being ignored by a female friend

17 replies

ladybood · 18/02/2023 11:21

Hi all. Went out with friends last night and my friend picked me up and I told her my OH would take us home. Got to around 9pm and my OH messaged and said have you taken your keys I can't pick you and your friend up otherwise. I thought shit I have! So OH only had two seat van. I told my friend and apologised and said I'll get a taxi with you instead. Our other friend suggested to get a taxi with her as her OH was in the pub close by and they can share together. I made sure she was able to get home before I called OH to pick me up. Unbeknown to me, when I went to leave and hugged she didn't hug me back and when I left heard her bitching about me saying how rude that was off me to get picked up by OH when she was supposed to come home with me. I messaged when I got home and apologised and said I would've got a taxi with you if you weren't able to get home but as you were able to go with our other friend I got my OH to pick me up. I said to let me know when you get home safe. Today she has read the message and ignored me. I've messaged again and said if I've upset you please let me know? And still nothing.
It was a complete accident and I thought I wasn't in the wrong as I had offered to get a taxi if she couldn't of got home. Anyway she still ignoring me and I feel like it's very petty to get upset about?

OP posts:

Original poster

ladybood · 18/02/2023 11:23

Just to put in context I have a car at home OH was supposed to pick us up in and I had forgotten to leave my keys so he had to take his van which was only a two seater - so she couldn't get back with us. But I suggested a taxi and she said she would get a taxi with other friend instead.
It wasn't intentional at all. Am I in the wrong?

OP posts:

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 18/02/2023 11:23

It's 11.20. Chill. You made a mistake, she's passed off. No one is unreasonable.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 18/02/2023 11:24

*pissed off

misskatamari · 18/02/2023 11:24

Yanbu. It was an accident, yes a bit annoying but you offered to get a taxi and she made the choice to get back with another friend. I don’t know what else you could really do in this situation? Seems very childish of her to be ignoring you over this

Mmmmdanone · 18/02/2023 11:25

She is being petty and weird! Did she definitely understand the situation? Was she v drunk and thinks you just left her?.

Grizzledstrawberry · 18/02/2023 11:27

Shes been petty if she is annoyed, its not like you abandoned her, you made sure she was safe first so I'm failing to see the problem.

JustAskingMate · 18/02/2023 11:27

It’s not a big deal as she was able to get home.

Does she know the other friend as well as you? If she’s not a well known friend then she might have felt awkward in a taxi with her and her DP home. Also what if the other friend wanted to stay out longer? Your friend would’ve been stuck having to stay out.

Im just thinking when me and my friends go out we’d have never hopped in our DPs car without them if that was pre arranged. In fact in your shoes I’d have told DP not to worry and just got a taxi back with my friend as that’s part of the night, arriving together and going home together.

That being said it doesn’t warrant getting upset and in a mood about.

Grizzledstrawberry · 18/02/2023 11:28

And don't grovel, let her come to you, you have nothing to apologise for.

Bingoflings · 18/02/2023 11:30

Grizzledstrawberry · 18/02/2023 11:28

And don't grovel, let her come to you, you have nothing to apologise for.

This. Plus, I think you've been much nicer than I would have been.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 18/02/2023 11:30

I think she's entitled to be annoyed. she planned a night out with lifts there and back and ended up paying for a taxi home. Also she's entitled to wait a few hours to reply, you feel guilty and want her "forgiveness" but she might be busy, or tired or any number of things and managing your guilt isn't high on her agenda. You didn't do anything bad, you just made a mistake. Let it go now.

GoodChat · 18/02/2023 11:32

When did you tell her he'd take you home? If it was before the night out I understand why she's annoyed.

SeulementUneFois · 18/02/2023 11:34

You're in the wrong here OP

Fakeairpodsfakeoodie · 18/02/2023 11:35

Why didn't your OH just use your spare car key and pick you up like arranged?

Thepurplelantern · 18/02/2023 11:36

She feels how she feels. You can only address it by recognising that. Her feelings might not be reasonable and given the circumstances it doesn’t sound like they are but that is how she feels. Address that and forget about the rights and wrongs of the situation.

Thepurplelantern · 18/02/2023 11:37

You're in the wrong here OP

For taking the keys with her? It is surely allowed that a person can make a mistake.

Why didn't your OH just use your spare car key and pick you up like arranged?

If that was an option I’m sure OP or BF wild have thought of it.

Tidsleytiddy · 18/02/2023 11:40

Had all this sort of shit with “friends” in the past. Don’t need that sort of “guilting”. Pathetic. Drop her out

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 18/02/2023 11:48

YANBU.

You made sure she got home safe, you even offered to get a taxi back with her. She's being over dramatic it's not like you just left without warning, is she usually like this?

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