When we first met he was the sweetest soul I'd ever come across, so humble and clean hearted.
As the years went on small things would happen like arguments where I'm always the bad guy and having to apologise. I didn't think much of it as couples argued and it was natural.
This started escalating into him flying into fits of rage during arguments and then abandoning me. This further escalated into breaking things - kitchen items, doors etc
Then DS was born. I was all alone no family on either side and I developed PND. This spiralled and I got diagnosed and started therapy.
At this point I was not only responsible for all of the arguments but he questioned everything I did and called it insanity due to my PND.
He didn't take responsibility for childcare and I struggled badly.
Time went on and arguments continued. DS is a little older now and I went back to work. My responsibilities did not change and he became more and more entitled. He would expect me to do childcare, work, look after the household and everything else in between whilst all he did was work.
Considering how wedded he became to his job you'd think we'd be millionaires but no we were not. He started getting angrier and angrier. He would bring work stresses home and take it out on DS and me. He started demanding that I take on his workload too. Despite helping him with his workload and trying to work out ways for him to reduce his working hours he still continued working. He was never around anymore. Work, friends and his family (parents and siblings) had taken priority.
We hardly got to see him. When he'd return from work which was always late in the evening he would complain of fatigue, have a face like thunder and just go to sleep. He would constantly growl and DS started withdrawing from him. This was also my fault apparently. I was left to do everything on my own. He would not spend any family time with us and whenever I planned any trips he always made it seem like it's such a burden to him and he's going out of his way to accommodate me.
Around this time I had also developed another minor health issue. I tried to seek medical help but due to him never being around, childcare issues and side effects of drugs that I'd be taking I didn't pursue the medical help initially.
By this time he is absolutely volatile. Everything enrages him and I'm the root of all evil in this world. Around this time he started to openly engage in some of his crazy outbursts. Some of our friends started noticing.
Time went on and eventually we moved closer to friends and family. DS is older now (primary school age) and can understand his DF's irrational behaviour so DS is cautious. My minor health concern suddenly took a turn for the worst and became a serious issue to the point where I became unable to care for myself and even more so for DS.
Instead of stepping up to take care of DS he started to prioritise us even less. It got to a point where he abandoned us for a month and left us alone at home. Bearing in mind I was bed ridden and DS had no one around. I was on strong medication and would just pass out for hours.
This was when the penny dropped. I realised that never mind me, he didn't care about DS at all. Anything could have happened to DS as I was pretty much an unconscious cripple during that time. Thankfully some friends were around to help out and keep DS fed and safe.
He didn't see any errors in his behaviour and instead tried to flip it back on to me. This is when I mentally checked out.