To be so upset that I am just shit at everything I ever do?

[RubbishAtEverything]

As per title, really.

I've just started a new job, in telesales, two weeks ago. I've done Telesales before and love it, and I love the new job and the company I work for. However, 8 of us started on the same day. The other 7 are absolutely flying but for me I rarely get anyone answering the phone. Maybe in an 8 hour shift of calling constantly (computer generated, I don't have to find my own leads), I might get 3 people answering the phone.

I feel so upset as I don't want to fail my probation and I work so hard, but I can't seem to get going with it. Today I worked from 9-5 with one hour lunch and had two people answering their phones all day. Everyone else did well over 1k of business.

It's not just work though; a few months ago I gave pole fitness a try and was just embarrassingly awful at it, whilst all newbies would just waltz in and be able to do it like they've been doing it all their lives.

I've put on weight and am finding it hard to lose so I look shit. I can't seem to keep any semblance of a tidy house as everyone else in the family is untidy.

I just can't ever seem to do anything well. Please be gentle as I got in from work half an hour ago and have been crying ever since.

No constructive advice OP because I also feel like this. Maybe you are comparing yourself to other people too much. It is human nature we all do it. But I bet if you spoke to a lot of people they would feel the same as you do even though you think they are nailing everything in life. I am sorry you feel this way though it isn't nice at all. Xx

OP, I'm sure you aren't.

Telesales is a mix of luck, determination and the gift of the gab. If you've done it before and you understand your new offering, you're just having a dry week. We've all been there. You can't be blamed for people not answering the phone.

As for pole fitness, you have to be kidding, surely. Unless you were previously a school girl gymnast, don't you think you might be expecting a bit much.

It's not worth crying about, honestly. Try another form of exercise this weekend.

Ok, deep breath. You are doing just fine. It isn’t your fault that people aren’t answering the phone. I am sure that your employer will be able to get some sort of analysis from the call logs that show how many people picked up. Your next shift could be completely different. Starting a new job is a very stressful time and it is normal for you to be anxious about everything.

Pole fitness- some people are good, some people take a bit longer. The aim is to have a laugh and try new things out, building up fitness levels. I did it for a few years and got really strong arms, it was great. Have fun with it, you are not in competition with anyone. Get some great photos and you can look at them later and remind yourself how great you actually do look.

I empathise with living with messy people, I do too. It’s usually me that tidies or makes everyone else do it. I find it helps to get everyone together and ask them to give you 10 minutes of tidying. You direct what needs doing and you will be able to get a lot done. Even small children can do some tasks.

Don’t turn all your perceived problems onto yourself, be kind to yourself. Good luck.

Can't really offer any help or support other than to say that I feel exactly the same about myself.

And I'm not saying it in some kind of self pitying or glass half empty way, I'm saying it as a calm, rational and unemotional statement of fact... I really am a complete loser and failure, i either struggle immensely or fail altogether at literally everything I attempt to do.

I don't just mean the big stuff in life like career, relationships etc I mean literally every tiny day to day task.

I've just reached a point of acceptance with it now, I'm completely devoid of ambition or a desire to achieve anything and i regard getting through the day without breaking something, injuring myself or somehow ending up out of pocket as a major victory.

Just make sure you lift the phone to the computerised calls as often as you possibly can. Sooner or later you'll get a good call you can sell to, so you need to be calling the numbers, don't allow pauses between blank calls. It might also be worth your while flagging to your manager that you're not getting people answering your calls - is there a problem with the quality of the database?

TBH I would suck at telesales and pole dancing, I wouldn't even try them.
But I'm good at other stuff and I expect you are too. Your house might be messy, but most people who work and have DC also have messy houses, maybe you are prioritising other things, like cuddling up on the sofa with your DC, or having interesting conversations with your DH. Maybe you are a lovely daughter to your mum, or kind to people who need a bit support.
Think about what you are good at, and why people might value you. And don't assume you look terrible because you are a few stone overweight, I'm sure there are lovely things about you.
Wipe away your tears and find a different hobby, and a new job if this one doesn't improve.

Thank you everyone for the lovely kind words

@Ariela yes, I literally call constantly, I don't leave any pauses between calls

I refuse to believe you're shit at absolutely EVERYTHING you do.
The job situation you describe is just luck, surely? How can you have any influence over who answers the phone or not?

But anyway, if nothing else, you wrote a perfectly spelled, grammatically correct post with correct punctuation and paragraphs, that's already better than 90% of the population.

I often feel like this too. But deep down I know I can and will achieve things. I'm already making small victories, and you can too.

Listen to all the sensible things that other people have said on here and take a moment to breathe and to believe in yourself. Pick one small goal that you can achieve before bed tonight (make it really small!!! Like do some washing up or just some 10 minute job that needs doing) and give yourself a reward after. Like a bath, hot water bottle, herbal tea, trashy show in bed etc. Do the 10 minute job, then ENJOY your reward.

Just like this, small step by small step you can and will achieve things and make yourself be proud, but you need to be KIND to yourself. And of course, you are undoubtedly doing far far better than you realise. Be kind to yourself, I don't doubt that you deserve it.

Oh bless you OP! Don't worry we all have times like this.

I remember going to a class at the gym that (unbeknownst to me) was full of people who'd been doing it for yonks and they were all fantastic. I was pure and utter SHIT at it for months on end, but I kept going because it was the only time I had time while the kids were doing another activity at the same place. I felt crap for months and hated going, it was embarrassing, but in the end it clicked. I think should go back to the pole class if you enjoyed it.

With work, don't worry about that either, you've just been unlucky this week.

Please don't think like that, it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

I used to work in field sales and we would have appointment setting days, which I hated beyond compare. I remember my boss told me about a team in America, where every time they got a knock back, they'd cheer. The reason being that they were closer to getting a yes... Cheesy I know but it's about framing how you think and approach things.

And as a tip: don't be fake and ask total strangers how they are, cut to the chase.

Hope things get better for you.

Telesales as in calling people up when they haven’t asked for it and manipulating them into parting with their money? Or an actually ok version?

I hear you with saying you love tellysales but why don't you give your self an opportunity for something else? I did tellysales straight out of school, I don't wanna knock your dream job if that's what you love but it was so irritating. Most people hate cold callers. There's your rubbish day right there. Why don't you give admin a go? I had no clue in admin I was just winging it. You quickly climb up the ladder quick pay promotions it's fun in the office & bosses are less up your arse than tellysales. When things are going wrong it's the universe telling you to change things up 😊

I am sure things will take a good turn , you can't let a few set backs define you , you are doing all the right things , success comes gradually for some people and there is no shame in that

Maybe you're just too nice a person for telesales
And pole fitness is bloody hard work! I did it recently on a hen-do and it was the worst two hours of my life. It was laughable how bad I was, and laugh I did.
You really, really need to start being kinder to yourself. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed with everything at the start of a new job. Give it time

Maybe telesales isn't for you.
it doesn't mean you are shit because no one picks up.
And as for pole fitness - bloody hell.....
What about zumba instead? I am totally uncoordinated and a complete disaster but even I managed to do zumba and lost a fair bit of weight.

Also, there's no way you are shit at everything.
Tell us something you are good at - even if it's just a tiny thing.
I'm really good at communicating with cats for example.

Never go by someone else’s achievements. Some things take time.
Perhaps you just had a bad batch of people to call.
As for the pole fitness, again, don’t compare yourself to others. It can take months to build up strength, every individual is different.
Everyone gained weight during the covid, give yourself a break. You’ll lose it when you’re in a good mind set, in your own time.

Not everything comes together straight away, you got to work at it and give yourself a chance. Have faith in yourself, you deserve to be happy x