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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to beat MIL with a wet fish......

32 replies

lardylumps · 08/02/2008 19:33

I am so angry. I feel I am now back to square one.

DD is just over 10 months now and has struggled with weight gain due to reflux. She now has very little milk but enjoys her solid food.

Because of the reflux and then her slow weight gain (she has been to hospital more times that I have hot dinners) meal times have always been so stressful for dd and I, and I had developed a paranoia about what she eats and is she getting enough iyswim. However as if by magic the last month or so things have improved so much. She has at last doubled her birth weight and now mealtimes are fun and enjoyable for us both and the stress has just gone. I actually look forward to cooking her new things because I know she enjoys most foods.

Until....... MIL said to dp last night that he needs to tell me to cut her portions down or dd is going to get fat. FFS she knows the problems we have had and now the paranoia is creeping back in. I found myself limiting the food I gave dd today and she has been really upset.

Wouldn?t a 10 month old just stop eating if she was full???

OP posts:

cherryredretrochick · 08/02/2008 19:35

Yanbu, ignore the silly cow.
Feed her as much as she wants she has catching up to do.
for you.

quint · 08/02/2008 19:35

Yes she would, metally slap that MIL and try and ignore her useless comments - easier said than done I know

nickytwotimes · 08/02/2008 19:35

Get a nice smelly kipper now!
Blardy woman! There is no way a 10 mth old baby will overeat and she probably needs to make up for lost calories too.

wildwoman · 08/02/2008 19:36

no dont ignore her, go with the wet fish

lalalonglegs · 08/02/2008 19:38

I have every sympathy - my dd had dreadful reflux although not as serious as yours by the sound of it.

If your daughter is enjoying eating at long last and you are giving her a good range of healthy food, I wouldn't worry about quantities too much. She is probably catching up after all those months of getting by. I'm not sure babies do stop eating when they are full - my son would happily scoff a catering size vat of olives - but as long as she is going for a variety of things, effectively putting her on a diet seems a bit odd.

PrettyCandles · 08/02/2008 19:38

No, YANBU. I will FedEx you a fish!

Ignore the silly woman. You are so in touch with your dd, you know what she's gone through, you are connected to her in a way that your MIL cannot be. Follow your true instincts and enjoy feeding her.

FWIW my dd at 8m was eating the same food as her 3yo big brother, but two to three times the quantity he was eating. But she was never fat. He was very slim. At about 1y she slowed down to eating about twice as much as him, and at about 4y she slowed down further and now she eats about the same as him. He is still very slim, she is very slightly more slender than she was.

Children fed healthy food in an emotionally healthy atmosphere will self-regulate and eat as much as they need.

bran · 08/02/2008 19:38

Definitely ignore. DS is quite skinny but he has always had phases of putting eating loads and putting on weight, always followed by a growth spurt and back to being skinny for his height. I would never restrict his food, although in his non-stop eating phases I give him more fruit/veg and wholemeal carbs to help fill him up.

missorinoco · 08/02/2008 19:39

yabu only if it's not and old smelly one

missorinoco · 08/02/2008 19:39

sorry, an old smelly one

PortAndLemon · 08/02/2008 19:39

Yes, she would. I think you should go for the wet fish option.

TenaciousG · 08/02/2008 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wildwoman · 08/02/2008 19:41

monkfish, nice and meaty I think it would pack a fair whack

Original poster

lardylumps · 08/02/2008 19:41

Thank you all so much for your comments, she really had knocked my confidence. However thanks to you all it is back in force and I am going to go and buy that smelly fish now (just maybe i will go for swordfish and really do some damage)

OP posts:

quint · 08/02/2008 19:42

not smelly enough, definitely kipper

Mellieandmin · 08/02/2008 19:45

OMG, don't listen to the silly women (sorry to offend). You poor little DD is making up for lost time, she must be starving poor little mite. Great great great that you have worked so hard with her, been there every single painful minute of the 24 hour day. You have come through with a baby who now loves food which is pretty amazing, you hear so many stories of kids at 4 yo who still don't eat properly due to a bad start for whatever reason.

My little DD has only just started enjoying solids (also 10 months). Since I started to wean her in late September she has had 2 NoroVirus, 1 gastroenteritus (sp?) 3 colds, 2 ear infections, an allergic reaction to Penicilling and also to Eggs. Every time I got her to start eating she was ill again and we never went more than 10 days without her being unwell.

However, we are just finishing some antibiotics and she is suddenly eating anything that is not tied down. I am so overjoyed I could cry as up till last week she had put just I ounce on since the end of November (thanks to the bloody horrible HV who yelled at me about it!).

Rejoyce in the fact DD is now eating, she won't eat for the sake of it and even if she does for a bit I am sure she will even out. I am sure you are an intelligent enough woman to make sure she is eating healthy nutritious foods that she needs to make up for all that time she lost poorly.

Get the fish and beat the woman!! You know your baby as you are her Mum!!

Original poster

lardylumps · 08/02/2008 19:45

Ok a large kipper it is .

OP posts:

PortAndLemon · 08/02/2008 19:57

What about a marlin? You might need to rig up some kind of crane, though.

Triggles · 08/02/2008 20:04

DH was reading over my shoulder and suggested you skip the fish and move straight on to the meat tenderiser. Certainly easier to swing, better grip, and your arm won't get so tired.

auntyspan · 08/02/2008 20:13

Well yes actually - I think you should put your DD on Atkins or something so she burns some fat, the little porker.

FFS the concept of denying any 10month old food when they're clearly hungry is preposterous.

I suggest you get your MIL down to the fishmarket and chuck her in the nearest barrel.

Mellieandmin · 08/02/2008 20:13

I like the way you think Triggles!

Ispy · 08/02/2008 20:24

Forget fish. Swift hand slap across back of head when she's not looking....

Wonderful that your dd is eating well and you can start to put the reflux behind you

Kimi · 08/02/2008 20:39

Tuna, you need a Tuna those things really pack a slap they are massive.

WinkyWinkola · 08/02/2008 21:01

I hate it when people talk about a child's weight and the food they eat and whether they're breastfed or formula fed. I think it's the easiest way to make a mum feel utterly and totally sh*te and inadequate.

Your MIL is a goose - obviously not very bright at all. Ignore her.

Give your daughter what she wants and let her relish her food. She will let you know when she's had enough. You've done so well and got through a really difficult time.

I remember being gutted when my MIL said that my DS was lucky not to have hollow cheeks because I was exclusively breastfeeding him. I studied him for weeks after that searching for any signs of being too thin.

Looking back, I can't believe I let such a numbnuts comment get to me but it's your child so it's kind of hard not to let doubts creep in.

Good luck and I hope your DD loves every mouthful!

discoverlife · 08/02/2008 21:07

Go on use the fish. MIL deserves it. Your LO has a lot of catching up to do and she will need all those extra nutrients.

squilly · 10/02/2008 09:40

YANBU. Go for the wet fish.

Personally, I'd use a whale, even though it's not technically a fish, it's a mammal, it's probably the one thing that might knock some sense into the mad woman. Mils, you gotta love em...or you'd become a serial killer.

My DD was a real bloater at 15 months...now she's 7yo and she's gorgeous, lean and lithe. Babies look great when they're well covered imo, they need fat to grow and develop mentally and they generally lose it when they start toddling around anyway.

Celebrate the fact that your lo is enjoying her solids....give her what she wants and what you feel comfortable with.

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