Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss and lies.

32 replies

Airymanning · 17/02/2023 14:18

My boss is a long term friend of my husband's (before I was employed there) last night my boss told my husband things about me at work that are not true and could be potentially damaging (my relationship with other colleagues) I'm not sure why he has lied? I know he isn't a huge fan of mine, but I can't think why he has decided to start this trouble about me?

I'm completely lost with what to do now.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 14:21

What did he say about you?

Original poster
Airymanning · 17/02/2023 14:23

Implied an affair, which is clearly untrue, but I'm totally baffled why this has happened?

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 17/02/2023 14:23

I'm going to call this one early. This is the tip of the iceberg and there are a load of other problems that need dealing with.

BankOfDave · 17/02/2023 14:23

Unless you have no other options, I’m not sure I’d like the dynamic of my DH’s friend being my boss anyway. What’s your DH said? Time to get a new role.

YesitsBess · 17/02/2023 14:24

WTF? I am actually sitting here with my mouth open like a fish after reading that update!

ApolloandDaphne · 17/02/2023 14:29

What does your DH have to say about this?

WeAreTheHeroes · 17/02/2023 14:34

Look for a new job. There's something weird going on and either the boss has a thing for your husband or you or is a weirdo psycho who gets kicks out of manipulating people. Or someone who wants your job is whispering in the boss's ear having picked up on him not liking you.

Tinkerbyebye · 17/02/2023 14:42

i would be looking for a new job immediately. I would also be speaking to my husband and telling him boss is shit stirring and he needs to get him to stop

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 15:09

Do you think your boss is trying to make things difficult between you and your colleagues, or between you and your husband?

It's definitely one or the other.

And was it your husband who told you about your boss saying things? Or was it a colleague of yours?

Fixed · 17/02/2023 15:11

Why isn't he a fan of yours?

NigelHargreaves · 17/02/2023 15:15

I don’t understand why you mention the possible effects of the alleged affair on your relationship with colleagues but not on your relationship with your husband.

luckylavender · 17/02/2023 15:24

NigelHargreaves · 17/02/2023 15:15

I don’t understand why you mention the possible effects of the alleged affair on your relationship with colleagues but not on your relationship with your husband.

This. I was confused too.

Original poster
Airymanning · 17/02/2023 16:46

NigelHargreaves · 17/02/2023 15:15

I don’t understand why you mention the possible effects of the alleged affair on your relationship with colleagues but not on your relationship with your husband.

Sorry, half term and kids. I didn't read what I wrote before sending. What I meant was in the first post I hadn't elaborated on what was said and just said he had informed my husband of my relationship with colleagues- but then a poster asked so I went into a bit more detail and realised how vague I'd been.

I am not bothered what my colleagues think because I'm fairly certain they would not back this up because we work in an open plan environment so they would see my every move and there has been no sign of this happening between me and anyone!

Boss is not a fan of me, long story and quite outing but the short version is 'I took his friend away from him' I guess .. I wouldn't have said he hated me, we have minimum conversation at work -literally only what's needed RE work/holiday but nothing about personal life. I would never have assumed he would say these things to my husband.

The whole thing is really confusing and I'm not sure how to react.

Husband knows this is not true, but is hurt by the whole thing, and has realised said friend probably isn't actually a friend at all, but doesn't understand why this has happened.

Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go into work knowing all this was said.

OP posts:
Original poster
Airymanning · 17/02/2023 16:47

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 15:09

Do you think your boss is trying to make things difficult between you and your colleagues, or between you and your husband?

It's definitely one or the other.

And was it your husband who told you about your boss saying things? Or was it a colleague of yours?

He phoned my husband and told him. As far as I know - no one at work has said anything because it's not really anything that someone would say, because there is no truth in any of it and no reasoning at all as far as I can see?

OP posts:
rothbury · 17/02/2023 16:51

I would lodge a formal grievance if you have HR etc

If not, speak to ACAS. This is disgusting behaviour by your manager. I wouldn’t want to work there any more.

GoodChat · 17/02/2023 16:58

How did you end up working for his friend who never liked you?

Ludo19 · 17/02/2023 17:05

Is he accusing you of having an affair with a colleague you work with?

Your husband needs to tell his "friend" that he can stir the shit elsewhere.

maryofthevirginkind · 17/02/2023 17:13

Can you escalate this above the fella that's said it.

Original poster
Airymanning · 17/02/2023 17:22

GoodChat · 17/02/2023 16:58

How did you end up working for his friend who never liked you?

Got hired by someone else, and then he moved over to this area to manage here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Airymanning · 17/02/2023 17:22

As in he changed roles.

OP posts:
ShimmeringShirts · 17/02/2023 17:29

Did you post about this friend/boss not so long ago?

GoodChat · 17/02/2023 17:41

I'd speak to him myself and ask why he's said that to my husband.

Craftybodger · 17/02/2023 17:42

Take it to HR and request a move away from toxic boss.

iklboo · 17/02/2023 19:11

Definitely raise a workplace grievance, in writing. Seriously unprofessional behaviour.

Dacadactyl · 17/02/2023 19:25

OP, do you trust your husband is telling you the truth? The reason I ask is just (and it is quite left field, I admit) that maybe he is suspicious that you might be having an affair and has come out with this as a way to see your reaction?

Swipe left for the next trending thread