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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Raging at racist football f*ckers.

26 replies

SamanthaCaine · 16/02/2023 23:59

I've just spent a potentially lovely evening watching England vs Korea with my DD. England were fabulous and every bit as impressive as they were last summer.

MK stadium is brilliant and full of families who seem to be supporting their kids and their interest in the game. All massively positive and the atmosphere was superb. I genuinely think the future of women's football is bright and deservedly so.

But. I'm not white. Not Korean but my origins are from that side of the world. Yet I'm British born and as English as it gets, bar the exterior obviously.

So we're sat in the crowd and it's plainly obvious who's sat in front of you and all around. Behind us are a group of girls, probably about 17 at a guess. It doesn't take long before they start with "chinky, chonky, cheat' and derogatory Asian noises like Asians talking. I turn round. It can't be any more obvious that we're sat right here but they just look and on it goes, loudly and in earshot of everyone. I wanted to rip their fucking heads off.

It's always said on here that we need to call out racism and sexism etc. otherwise you're part of the problem, but nobody in the crowd does or says anything. In truth I don't expect it and am more cross with myself for not calling it out. I hate myself for not challenging it and being a better example for my daughter but in a crowd of families enjoying the match I freeze and don't do anything as I want to keep the peace. What's the point in ruining everyone else's evening for this shit. My daughter is so ahead of the game and instinctively, calmly tells me it's ok. She's stronger than I am it seems.

Football has a massive problem. Black players, male and female, experience this shit constantly hence taking the knee. Not that these fucks take any notice. We're supposed to be stamping this out but seems racism is alive and well in football.

OP posts:
FuckeNell · 17/02/2023 00:03

Ah op how rubbish. I've reported racism at the football but I'm sad to say I do it anonymously (there's a text number)

I hope someone did the same for you 💐

FuckeNell · 17/02/2023 00:04

Forgot to add they were thrown out!

Original poster
SamanthaCaine · 17/02/2023 00:08

Thanks. I didn't know you could do this but have their seat/row numbers so will be taking it up with MK stadium. They obviously have their booking details so let's hope they do something about it and ban them.

The saddest thing is that these were young girls and future adult football fans. If we can't tackle it at their age, I dread to think what they'll be like when older.

OP posts:
Justmeandthedog1 · 17/02/2023 00:10

That’s disgusting behaviour, you were very restrained, OP, more than I would have been.
Only solution I can think of is Marshalls or security staff walking through and ejecting them.

Sunshineandrainbow · 17/02/2023 00:10

I really hope they do identify them and deal with it.

I go to the stadium to watch the home team that play there and they are posters up about reporting racisim.

Hope it didnt ruin your night.

L1ttledrummergirl · 17/02/2023 00:13

I was at a football match about 25 years ago and a man in front was making sheep noises everytime the Welsh opposition player got the ball. I'm Welsh, I was pissed off and told him to shut the fuck up.
When he started to get gobby with me he was told to shut up by dh and the group of men around us.

If it happens again and you don't feel comfortable calling them on it then find a steward who can tell them and remove if needed.

L1ttledrummergirl · 17/02/2023 00:15

Or text the number the pp has suggested ( I didn't know about this, it's a fabulous idea).

Poshjock · 17/02/2023 00:18

My side hustle is football, I work in the match control room, and you're right the racism (sexism/sectarianism etc) is rife and vile. It is taken seriously and clubs are very interested in hearing about experiences. Football Banning Orders are applied for in every instance where proof is supplied of undesirable and illegal behaviours. You do not need confront this yourself, in fact you are better not doing so, but please do find a Steward (ideally a Steward Manager or Supervisor) and tell them what is happening and give seat numbers if you know them. You can do this when heading into the concourse for refreshments or toilets so the perpetrators do not know you have done so. Steward staff will attempt to hear this for themselves and deal appropriately by asking them to desist and if particularly bad, obviously illegal or persistant - they will be escorted from the ground.

I would wholeheartedly encourage you to feedback to the stadium management team, it may be possible to check on CCTV and it could well be that these fans are already known. They will be watched in future too.

Original poster
SamanthaCaine · 17/02/2023 00:20

Thank you again for the advice. It's much appreciated.

I don't go to football much but would like to go more as my DD's interest has grown. She's mainly watching the WSL on TV but this was a great opportunity to watch England.

But it's comforting to hear that they take this seriously.

OP posts:
LaviniasBigBloomers · 17/02/2023 00:22

Bloody hell, I'm so sorry that happened. I'm even more upset that it was girls at a women's game, I don't even know if that's unfair or not, but I would expect the space to be better. Sorry OP. It's just shit.

Delectable · 17/02/2023 00:23

William has been president of the FA for almost two decades. I don't recall him ever talk about tackling racism in football.

So for every commoner spectator who even does as little as give racist chanters a bad look I applaud your courage.

TealReal · 17/02/2023 00:26

Definitely report. Show your daughter by actions what the right thing to do is.

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 17/02/2023 00:31

L1ttledrummergirl · 17/02/2023 00:13

I was at a football match about 25 years ago and a man in front was making sheep noises everytime the Welsh opposition player got the ball. I'm Welsh, I was pissed off and told him to shut the fuck up.
When he started to get gobby with me he was told to shut up by dh and the group of men around us.

If it happens again and you don't feel comfortable calling them on it then find a steward who can tell them and remove if needed.

With all due respect, and as a Scottish person who is fed up of getting the piss ripped out of them based on their nationality, the example you have quoted isn’t racism.

Op, that is absolutely appalling - if I had been around you, I’d have said something to them, but I understand why you wouldn’t in the moment. I hope that they are somehow tracked down and reprimanded for their behaviour. I hope I’m bringing my kids up to stand up against people like them.

RobertaFirmino · 17/02/2023 00:33

Bloody hell @Delectable you are absolutely right - he's never said a thing, has he? A huge missed opportunity, that's really quite shameful.
@SamanthaCaine yes, contact MK tomorrow, I can almost guarantee this will be taken seriously. I'm sorry you have had to listen to that shite.

Lavender14 · 17/02/2023 00:38

Yanu totally unacceptable behaviour. I think reporting them to security is a really good approach. I think a lot of people feel wary of challenging others especially groups of young people now incase it escalates into something violent and out of control. So i think that's a good way to handle it. Just shows how schools, youth groups etc need to step up and address these topics in more meaningful and impactful ways from much younger so noone has to sit through crap like that.

Just4ThisThread · 17/02/2023 00:39

RobertaFirmino · 17/02/2023 00:33

Bloody hell @Delectable you are absolutely right - he's never said a thing, has he? A huge missed opportunity, that's really quite shameful.
@SamanthaCaine yes, contact MK tomorrow, I can almost guarantee this will be taken seriously. I'm sorry you have had to listen to that shite.

I don’t pay much attention to the royals in general however Wills is a Villa fan so have heard him speak on football 😆

He has made a few statements re racism in the game and how it must stop. Sadly, the words have had no effect.

I’m sorry you experienced this OP, we tell ourselves everyday how the world is a better place and then something like that happens. I hope they’re tracked down and banned.

808Kate1 · 17/02/2023 00:39

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd Also Scottish and was about to say the same!

You've had some good advice on here OP. Hope these wankers didn't completely ruin your evening or put you off going back to more games.

pansiesinmygarden · 17/02/2023 00:42

It's always said on here that we need to call out racism and sexism etc. otherwise you're part of the problem, but nobody in the crowd does or says anything

What an odd thing to say

What do you mean by 'here'? Do you think that IRL people would act according to a decalogue of MN commandments?

By your account, it appears you have been very obviously and inequivocally harrassed. I agree with others that you should report it.

toomuchlaundry · 17/02/2023 00:43

Google Prince William and racism in football and he has condemned it

CherLloydbyCherLloyd · 17/02/2023 00:46

808Kate1 · 17/02/2023 00:39

@CherLloydbyCherLloyd Also Scottish and was about to say the same!

You've had some good advice on here OP. Hope these wankers didn't completely ruin your evening or put you off going back to more games.

I honestly couldn’t believe the audacity to think that someone making sheep noises (even if they are clearly implying someone is a sheep shagger) is equal to:

  • wrongly identifying their nationality (similar to “they all look the same”)
  • using a derogatory term to describe that nationality
  • imply someone is cheating based on their nationality
  • make fun of someone’s language

I mean, I don’t love it when someone yells “och aye the noo” or implies I’m a raging alcoholic, or asks about haggis/Nessie/kilts, but it’s not bloody racist is it?

Original poster
SamanthaCaine · 17/02/2023 00:50

Yes, the advice has been brilliant thanks and I'll be contacting them tomorrow. Sadly no proof now the match has finished. It's sad how I just thought I should've recorded them on my phone but hindsight is a wonderful thing when the moment has gone.

It's utterly crap but fortunately England were fantastic and it was such a privilege to see them all, bar Beth Mead and Ellen White, on the pitch. They were so amazing last year and they didn't disappoint tonight so am trying to take the positives. I'm too old to let this shit ruin an otherwise faultless evening.

OP posts:
Original poster
SamanthaCaine · 17/02/2023 01:06

pansiesinmygarden · 17/02/2023 00:42

It's always said on here that we need to call out racism and sexism etc. otherwise you're part of the problem, but nobody in the crowd does or says anything

What an odd thing to say

What do you mean by 'here'? Do you think that IRL people would act according to a decalogue of MN commandments?

By your account, it appears you have been very obviously and inequivocally harrassed. I agree with others that you should report it.

Sorry, I didn't mean anything untoward with that comment. I was in tears and still emotional from the experience so was a bit of a blurb.

It's not just from MN but I will try and call out stuff IRL if I see it. Not always but the message (from various sources) is to call stuff out. If you're not part of the solution....... If I were in the crowd and it was happening to another minority I'd say something. It's easier I think, when you're not on the receiving end and perhaps I thought someone might have said something but no-one did. I understand why people don't and logically it's not a problem but when you're in the moment and feeling like shit, you just want help from someone, anyone. I know it's unreasonable in the cold light of day but in that moment.

Sorry I'm probably not being clear so agree it was an odd thing to write.

OP posts:
JMSA · 17/02/2023 01:12

Depressing as fuck. I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP Flowers

xsquared · 17/02/2023 09:10

Sorry this happened to you op. Totally understand why you felt you couldn't do anything at the time for fear of escalating, especially when there's lots of people.

All you can do is to report it, and the more people report ot, then hopefully the more seriously it will be taken.

Poshjock · 17/02/2023 22:18

SamanthaCaine · 17/02/2023 01:06

Sorry, I didn't mean anything untoward with that comment. I was in tears and still emotional from the experience so was a bit of a blurb.

It's not just from MN but I will try and call out stuff IRL if I see it. Not always but the message (from various sources) is to call stuff out. If you're not part of the solution....... If I were in the crowd and it was happening to another minority I'd say something. It's easier I think, when you're not on the receiving end and perhaps I thought someone might have said something but no-one did. I understand why people don't and logically it's not a problem but when you're in the moment and feeling like shit, you just want help from someone, anyone. I know it's unreasonable in the cold light of day but in that moment.

Sorry I'm probably not being clear so agree it was an odd thing to write.

Show quote history

I think the important thing to remember here is that "calling it out" doesn't necessarily mean there and then and directly. It may not be wise or safe to do so, especially when you are facing a group who are in mob mentality mode and will likely not back down with their friends and cohorts to back them up and bolstering their confidence. By writing your experience here, raising your complaint with MK, etc, that is every bit as valid "calling it out" as speaking to those fans directly.

There is so much goes on behind the scenes, your information may be invaluable in building match intelligence. By providing a seating location the CCTV can be viewed and it is entirely possible that the girls involved are known already, have been seen by spotters, part of a fan club and may be identified by the many fan liason persons. Your information may build into something that has an impact further down the line because that intelligence is there.

Well done to you for raising it here and pursuing it, and take comfort in knowing that you didn't accept it and have played your part in stamping it out. I hope your next game is less eventful in the terraces!