I’m mid 40s with three children (15, 14 and 11) my 14 and 11 year old both have special needs and attend a specialist school (they’re both very high/complex needs and one has a medical issue). For most of their childhood I was a carer as there were issues with school and nursery. I’ve been working for the last 5 years, term time only thankfully but very chaotic environment and poor leadership. I’m soon to start a new job but feeling a bit panicked that it’s the wrong choice though the team seem really nice.
But mainly I feel very flat about life. I feel utterly worn out and overwhelmed and there’s a lack of joy. I have what feel like mental panic attacks where I feel like I mentally can’t breathe if that makes sense. I’m not hugely happy where we live but can’t move the kids as they’re part way through education, I thought changing jobs might help, I’m very overweight and life just feels hard. Our youngest child suffers hugely from anxiety so life is very limited and controlled. I feel like all the hope and joy has been taken and I just can’t seem to get it back.