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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm cursed.

10 replies

MotherofBingo · 16/02/2023 11:40

I know I probably am but honestly every single in my life just seems to go wrong and I really don't think I can take anymore. Just lately, my psychiatrist cancelled my appointment 4 months ago and I still haven't heard anything since, I got an appointment for my eldest after a years wait to be told that she really would benefit from an operation but cant get funding on the NHS because the criterias so strict so id have to pay privately which I cant afford, I finally got someone to listen to me about my daughters possible ADHD and felt so great that someone was listening to me at last and agreed that she needs a referral - only to get a text to say the referral process has changed and now I need to go back to the school who aren't supporting her at all and seem perfectly happy with the fact that she's struggling even though they've told me outright that she won't pass her sats and basically seem to be doing nothing other than telling me to do more with her. I do as much as is humanly possible but it's not enough, I was going to have the windows in my flat sorted at long last (it's been 4 years!) But then the keys apparently didn't work so they couldn't gain access (it was arranged to be done while I was away) and so now its another set back. This seems to happen with everything. Nothing ever goes smoothly or as easily as others say it is, I feel like I'm failing my children and I really don't know how much more I can take. I can't ring the crisis team, they don't help at all, last time they told me I was overreacting and should be grateful to the person who calls me stupid, crazy, psychotic etc. So I'd rather not repeat that experience. I know it's all little things but it's all built up to the point that I really can't cope with anymore and I have nowhere to turn.

OP posts:
Cass32 · 16/02/2023 11:47

Try and go through each problem 1 by 1 to find a solution and if you can't think how to fix it just now, store it away till a later date.
Could you possibly find another psychiatrist?
Take your daughter back to the doctors due to possible ADHD, explain everything and see if they can help you?
Sometimes things go wrong in life out of our control which is a pain but sometimes you have to keep on pushing or accept defeat, they are the 2 choices really. Things will get better, they always do x

MotherofBingo · 16/02/2023 11:52

The psychiatrist is through the NHS so unfortunately not it took a hell of a lot to even get one in the first place.
It's the GP who I took her too who have now said the referral process has changed and I did tell them the school she unsupportive but I also said what they'd told me about her behaviour etc. In school. Because the referral process has changed they can't do anything now apparently, it has to go through the school or health visitor (who is no longer involved.

That's the problem, people have been telling me it gets better for 20 years now and it never does. I've been pushing forward but I'm tired now.

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 16/02/2023 11:57

Yup join the club ! Always feel the universe is totally against me and I get pissed off that others have such charmed lives!!

Cass32 · 16/02/2023 12:08

All of us are tired with problems. No ones life is perfect despite what they might portray. Try and find one thing you're grateful for or appreciate and focus on that for a few minutes and see if you feel better. It's the little things in life that help us, even if it's just for a short while. It seems you're very focused on problems instead of how to fix it and nothing is impossible. You seem really stuck in a negative mindset which I understand completely, I really do. I'm genuinally trying to help.

Cass32 · 16/02/2023 12:10
  • genuinely
leithreas · 16/02/2023 12:12

You aren't cursed just not wealthy. Positive thinking as someone suggested isn't going to fix it. Money would though. This is just unfortunately life in 2023 with overstretched services when you have no money to throw at problems.

Cass32 · 16/02/2023 12:13

@leithreas positivity does help.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 12:16

sorry you are having such a horrible time - have you got anything nice planned coming up?

MotherofBingo · 16/02/2023 12:17

The trouble is it's very hard to be positive when you've had chronic depression and PTSD for over 2 decades that you can't get treatment for and life just keeps throwing more problems at you. Unfortunately, I don't have £10000000 to pull from nowhere so some of those problems are actually very impossible for me to fix right now.

OP posts:
Cass32 · 16/02/2023 12:34

I read an analogy somewhere ages ago that stuck with me. Fill a glass with water, and hold it up, could you hold that glass up all day? Probably not as your arm would get tired. It's ok to put the glass down and take a break.
So you can do the same with your thoughts. Take a break and do something nice for yourself like run a hot bath and listen to music or watch a movie and chill with a cuppa. You have to believe things will be ok❤️

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