You ask, you organise?

[SweetLemonTea]

Am I right in thinking if you ask someone if they are interested in an event then you should take the initiative to then organise it?

In my friendship group we share a lot of events among us, in big group or with one person/smaller groups that might be interested.
I send quite alot of ideas so end up booking a lot of things (rallying the dates for everyone and/or ordering the tickets)

It ended up always being me to sort things and was being asked(or expected) to sort and book everything. Regardless of who suggested it, it always seemed to fall on me.
Bare in mind, it means I always have to pay outright and everyone sends me afterwards - sometimes having to chase for hundreds , sometimes told afterwards they need to wait till payday or X date.

Friend has now sent me a music event (which is on for a week and multiple different days) and asked if I would like to go. I replied straight away 'Yes sounds good!'
they replied 'It sounds great!'
I liked this comment.

Now over a week of nothing more.
I'm holding back because I think it's really their turn to sort this? And they are expecting me to do it.
I know it might sound silly but I'm trying not to be so wet lettuce but wondering if I'm being petty without an extra follow up .

so....

UABU - you should ask further questions and start to arrange .
UANBU - they asked, they sort - it's on them to be assertive and arrange it if they want to!

I was this person to the extent that CFs expected me to take on organising insurance for their events. And, in no way are they grateful for past favours, just angry when you say no. Now I only do things with small groups of genuine friends, not the users who seem to be so prolific and queuing up to take advantage.

It's only from reading this thread that I have realised I am very much the organiser in my small friend group and it never occurs to me for any of the others to do it, feel like a right mug now 🥴

It is usually me doing the suggesting though so maybe that's why... maybe if I waited for the others to suggest something we'd never do anything?

Do you actually want to go with them, share transport etc? If I really want to do something I just say 'I am going to X event on Saturday, I've got my ticket ... let's meet there if you are interested'. But I am more than happy to go alone and don't need to share lifts etc.

You are not their social secretary. If they ask you to do it, just say it's someone else's turn to organise it.

@SweetLemonTea

This is literally my mum

She's been saying about booking out for a nice breakfast on my one week day off since November.

For context she lives down the road doesn't work and doesn't do much else.

Every time she says it I say that il look
Forward to it then come the day I don't here from her and that's how I leave it because for years it's always been me organising booking times etc and I got bloody fed up with it

I did point out to her not long ago when she mentioned it again that unless she organised it seeing as it's her gesture to me and a treat for helping her with something it won't happen because she's the one saying about doing it.

@SweetLemonTea ”no I don’t have time as snowed under with work/life, can you do this time?”

I think I would understand the 'they think you like organising' if there was more involved such as searching for the right hotel, or best transport root,timings etc. organisers like this this sort of stuff.

But this just drills down to being abit lazy perhaps when it's simply just booking the ticket.

I expressed i'm keen and showed enthusiasm just not sure why it dies there because I made no offer to book (as usual)

I like this response, less likely to ask you to do it

I like that too! Good wording! Will use.

I wouldn't say anything personally. See it as her event to organise. She needs to update the group, book/ask others to book tickets etc. Sit back and say nothing. I wouldn't send a passive aggressive message at all. I am the main organiser for my group but i don't mind because its not often and usually is a great night out. Luckily, my group pay me quickly for the tickets. It would be a nightmare if i had to chase!

I often feel like this too, but then I'm often the mad keen one to do things and my good friends do organise stuff too

With one group I just turned round when something was mentioned and said "sounds great. I'm snowed under at the moment so can you sort it". And they did.

I met up with a couple of friends this weekend and we started talking about going on holiday for our 50th birthdays
(not too far away 😂). It wasn’t my idea though and I have no intention of organizing this trip so let’s see whether it happens. I’m happy to brainstorm ideas and come along!

Hi op my friend booked tickets I said let me know cost. I be wary doing it for big groups.. you have get money upfront

I've got a friend who's annoying in this way. Fortunately for him, he's great company, otherwise I'd have given up by now.