Now there is a big old backstory here but the reason I’m sad right now is that my dad forgot my birthday a few days ago. I wasn’t expecting a present, up until 40 he would bung a bit of money in my account, but apparently that stopped at 40 (same for my brother also in his 40s). Which is fine, but I’d still get a card in the post and he’d call me to say happy birthday. This year, nothing. Turns out he clean forgot. Only realised when one of my DBs visited him the next day and mentioned my birthday to him. He then phoned me and said that he’d meant to phone the day before and forgotten (which isn’t true as my DB told my DM that my dad had been horrified with himself that he’d just completely forgotten when he’d mentioned my birthday).
My dad has a big birthday coming up and my DM (they are divorced) thought it might be nice if us ‘kids’ put together a photo album of my dad and his DC while we were growing up. She had scoured thousands of photos and it turns out there isn’t a single photo in existence of me and my dad. Not one. I was the only girl of 4 kids, and there’s plenty of photos of him with my brothers, but not one of him and me.
I could witter on for hours, there’s a lot more, I have spent lengthy amounts of time talking about my daddy issues in therapy, but here I am in my 40s and feeling really sad about this. I always felt I didn’t matter to him, and this confirms it. I feel pathetic and ridiculous for letting this get to me.