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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DH is being incredibly rude?

37 replies

Iknownononono · 15/02/2023 21:33

DH has got into the very irritating habit of saying “I know” over things that I say. It roughly translates to “I think I know what you’re going to say so I won’t even let you finish saying it even though I’m often wrong”.

It’s just happened like this:
Me: Oh DS has ruined his jumper-
DH: I know (out of the room, hasn’t seen)
Me: No, I mean just now with his-
DH: I know, I know
Me: No, actually, you don’t know because you’re not in here so you haven’t seen. Stop saying “I know” over everything I say, it’s really rude.
DH: Sorry, I thought you meant a different jumper.
Me: Aww, DS just gave DD her-
DH: I know
Me: What do you know?
DH: DS just gave DD some pasta
Me: No, he just gave her her bunny. Why do you keep cutting over me? I find it really rude and disrespectful-
DH: I know, I know.

At that point I said I was done speaking to him until he can be respectful. In his defence, he did just come in and say he’s really sorry for being disrespectful and can we have a nice evening just as I’m finishing my angry rant.

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 15/02/2023 21:36

That would have me demented

JudgeRinderonTinder · 15/02/2023 21:38

I felt murderous just reading that 🤣

FenghuangHoyan · 15/02/2023 21:39

Yeah, he's being rude.... And immature. That's just how surly teen-agers act.

Lemonspy · 15/02/2023 21:42

I feel murderous just reading that! I’d tell him next time he does it I’ll just stop talking and doing anything for him

Original poster
Iknownononono · 15/02/2023 21:47

Thank God. A small part of me was expecting vipers telling me I don’t know what he does or doesn’t know or that I’m being ridiculous for snapping at him and telling him I’m not talking anymore! Yeah, he’s driving me insane. And whenever I get mad about it he gets all shocked and sad as if I haven’t given him a million warnings and explained exactly what the problem is. He pulls this confused face like a baby bunny - not sure if it makes me more or less annoyed with him to be honest.

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 15/02/2023 21:48

It got to a point where wither my Mum or OH would repeatedly interrupt me mid conversation/ explanation, I pointed it out to both of them separately. My mums excuse was "if I don't tell you now, I'll just forget" I said that if she just remembered in her head, she could wait till after I've done speaking, normally it's something totally off topic too. My OH, didn't give a reason, just said sorry, he didn't realise he was doing it, and again, it'll be something totally off topic. When my OH does it, I'll sit quietly, not listen to a word, and when he's done, I'll just carry on my conversation/ explanation. The email both started doing it less and less now. It is really rude of your DH to keep saying it to you, who can't he just wait till you've finished talking.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:49

What an arsehole.

Ok, he's apologised now. But it's not the first time he has done in.

You need to sit down with him & ask him why he is doing it. Don't let him dodge it or say 'sorry' & carry on.

You make it clear you will not interact with him while he's being a disrespectful prick.

Tothemoonandbackx · 15/02/2023 21:50

Sorry for typos either and they have

Singularity82 · 15/02/2023 21:50

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:49

What an arsehole.

Ok, he's apologised now. But it's not the first time he has done in.

You need to sit down with him & ask him why he is doing it. Don't let him dodge it or say 'sorry' & carry on.

You make it clear you will not interact with him while he's being a disrespectful prick.

Can imagine how this convo would go
”DH, I find it really rude when..”
”I know, I know”
🫣😂😂😂

Botw1 · 15/02/2023 21:50

Does he do it to anyone else?

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:53

@Singularity82

🤪 good point!!!! I hadn't thought of that.

insomniac1 · 15/02/2023 21:53

It is annoying but calling him an arsehole seems harsh?! 🙈

Singularity82 · 15/02/2023 21:53

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:53

@Singularity82

🤪 good point!!!! I hadn't thought of that.

🤣🤣 I’m just kidding. I would do the same as what you suggested.

UnctuousUnicorns · 15/02/2023 21:54

Start doing it back to him. Cut him off mid sentence with "I know." If he protests, just ask him how he likes having the tables turned on him.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:55

insomniac1 · 15/02/2023 21:53

It is annoying but calling him an arsehole seems harsh?! 🙈

I think it's mild, actually.

It's so rude, disrespectful & actually controlling - as OP literally cannot get the words out t communicate, about anything including his behaviour.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 15/02/2023 21:56

When he starts I would relentlessly respond to his every question with I know for the evening til he shut up and caught on

Original poster
Iknownononono · 15/02/2023 21:59

insomniac1 · 15/02/2023 21:53

It is annoying but calling him an arsehole seems harsh?! 🙈

I never called him an arsehole.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 21:59

@Iknownononono

No - that was me!

FurAndFeathers · 15/02/2023 22:00

He’s trying to close you down
he’s not interested in you talking to him.

insomniac1 · 15/02/2023 22:04

Yes I guess you're right. I'm guilty of being too soft when someone apologises but he is doing it repeatedly which isn't on.

k1233 · 15/02/2023 22:05

Does he do it when you talk about interesting things? Maybe it's his way of stopping inane conversation?

ReneBumsWombats · 15/02/2023 22:06

Yes, it's rude and would drive me mad. He's trying to stop you speaking and effectively telling you you have nothing worth saying and can't tell him anything he doesn't already know. It's twattish behaviour.

Original poster
Iknownononono · 15/02/2023 22:11

k1233 · 15/02/2023 22:05

Does he do it when you talk about interesting things? Maybe it's his way of stopping inane conversation?

Yes, that’s the most annoying!! He says it when I’m discussing really important things. We’re doing renovations and I’ll be explaining something to him like “the colour I want is Farrow and Ball no.65 but don’t get the estate finish get-“ and he’ll say “I know” when he can’t possibly know without reading my mind.

And just in case I get jumped on by AIBU, no.65 is an example, I have no idea what that colour is so please don’t tell me how hideous it is🙉 I’m “in charge” of style because DH is colourblind and has no sense of design and he’s “in charge” of function so I’m not being controlling or anything like that.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/02/2023 22:18

It would drive me absolutely bananas. Really couldn’t live with that.

Absolutely most annoying thing in the world not being able to finish a sentence. It’s bad enough when the kids do it, and they now know they’re going to have to listen to the end, plus a lecture in not doing it, if they bite off the end of my sentences.

My Mum has this infuriating habit of guessing the end of what I’m (or someone else is) going to say and sort of interrupting with that. So something like

Me- I’m going to the…
Her- shops to buy a loaf of bread
Me - no, to the doctor next Thursday

(For example, not the actual content of a really conversation!)

I mean why?

ReneBumsWombats · 15/02/2023 22:18

Well maybe you should just stop talking every time he tells you he knows what you're about to tell him and let the silly sod fail.