to wonder where the hell the concept of sending party bags into school in year 2 has suddenly appeared

[Twiglett]

and why they are full of total food-shit

I don't like it

I want them to stop

Twiglett did you read all my threads. As I explained I am not in a postion to be able to afford 3 various expensive and time consuming events for my DC birthday - I would love to believe me - so I make the best of what is available and on various threads have been flamed for that. On one I was told that I was putting pressure on those who could not be "arsed" with that kind of thing. Thats where I got my idea about laziness being a factor and I still think it is sometimes. Maybe not for you but definitely for others.

And Grapefruitmoon are you really concerned that childrens parties during school time may be responsible for the cycle of poverty that exists in this country? Best get on to your local MP about that, you may just have solved one of the biggest problems facing our government.

I feel quite sad actually at the negativity attached to something me and DS did with such excitement and which made a load of kids smile. By not involving sweets I did actually think was no risk of upsetting anyone but clearly I am going to have to change my way of thinking if DS and I are to make a success of our Primary School Careers.

This is all along a similar jist to another thread in which the OP was upset about her son not being invited on playdates - she was genuinely distressed that there seemed to be an implication her son was unpopular so I will use my words carefully.

HOWEVER, a lot of this sort of thing seems to be more about the parents that the kids ie "helicopter parenting" and "competitive parenting". It is my aim neve to get sucked into this, and I would hope when DS is at school, if this sort of thing starts amongst his class, I would have the nerve and the tact to say gracfully to the perpetrators, "goodness, how do you find the time? I think this sort of thing can get out of hand don't you?" and just sort of jokingly suggest we all do each other a favour and not make so much work for ourselves.

I just don't think kids need to be spoon fed entertainers, party bags and a slice of everyone in the class's birthday cake to feel loved, included and valued. I don't want to raise a little sultan who expects to get something because it is someone else's birthday.

No ALmummy I haven't read your other threads I'm afraid.

I'm sure you and your DS were very excited about organising party bags for school. I'm sure it was a lovely bonding moment and he loved it.

However from my perspective it just ends up with a very upset younger sibling who didn't get one and encouraging an elder child to share (which luckily he does) and a load of either plastic crap we don't need or want or a load of food.

Rather than a party bag I would consider baking a load of small cakes and hand one out each?

Rather than a party bag I would consider inviting a few kids back for an after-school play / movie night?

Not being arsed with it is just not fair .. possibly not being arsed with it on top of everything else one is doing is.

I do completely appreciate that if that is what happens at one's school then one has to go with the flow and it becomes an expectation .. . in our school it's a new thing and it's happened twice now and I just want to put a kaibosh on it

I think it is disappointing that a bag of crap is viewed as a treat by anybody, parent or child - be it shitey little plastic junk that gets binned after 20 seconds or food-shit.

i love party bags
but afet a prty surely/

Christ, I felt obliged to do one of these at NURSERY - the kids are 1 upwards.

Everyone else does it so I just followed the crowd, even though I hate the practice myself.

It really p*sses me off when the kids come home with sweets. Most of them aren't even suitable for the 1 yr old and I usually have to face a tantrum when I take them away. Even worse because the 4 year old has usually started to eat them. Causes no end of misery.

How stupid am I? I would say that it is only when you think about these things that you realise how ridiculous they are. I am normally too busy and/or dozy to think about this sort of stuff.

holy shit
you know sometimes I think we should step away from the puters and go for a long walk

I can't stand all this fucking arguing
I am going to step away and gaze at my newly fitted (BY ME) dishwasher

I was talking about changing parental attitudes that values material goods and keeping up with the Jones's over getting their children a good education. I wasn't directing this specifically at you, just seems to be a very common attitude in this country.

TBH I don't buy the younger sibling argument here. DS never has to be prompted to share with DD (and the size of the party bag mentioned we could all share for the full week....) and it is not much difference to when one child goes to a party and gets a bag and the other one doesn't go.