AIBU to want to attend

[Mamma2bee]

ok so long story short - my DP is out working during the day 5 days a week and also works 3 evenings a week so I’m usually at home a lot on my own (I WFH) I genuinely don’t mind as it’s work.

we generally have a really great relationship and admittedly both struggle a little with separation.

we only really have one night during the week to ourselves (excluding weekends) and I’m meant to have a meeting that evening this week. I’m actually leaving the board I’m involved with at the meeting this week so it’ll be my last time there. Im pregnant and taking a while out from extra hobbies because I want to focus on the baby.

I got the dates mixed up and turns out that the meeting is the only night of the week we’re free and he’s now pissed off that I’m going. I’ve said it’s my last time obviously with the baby and that and that I’m at home 3 evenings week without him so I don’t think one evening alone is going to kill him like to which he replied he’s working when he’s out of the house so that’s different.

AIBU to want to go to this one last meeting on this particular night?

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

It’s one night.
He needs to get a grip.

And congrats on your pregnancy!

You are absolutely not being unreasonable and of course you should go.

You fit round his working commitments 3 evenings a week and it sounds like you’re free together at the weekends. He should not begrudge you your 1 commitment this week. Perhaps he can take one of his evenings off this week, if he feels that strongly about it…

Hi @Mamma2bee no you're not being unreasonable!
Congratulations on your pregnancy 🌝 x

No yanbu. You must put your foot down on this one. You don't want to set a precedent whereby you seek his blessing to go out. Just go.

Definitely not unreasonable. He's allowed to be a little disappointed at missing out on your one night together this week, but acting like a stroppy toddler over it is not ok.

He’s come home here and it’s a massive row apparently he gets paid to be out so that’s different. Apparently I’ve manipulated him because I said I didn’t know whether I would go or not (which is true because I’m working a few hours away from home on Thursday and might be too tired from getting up at 6am).

he’s said he’s made plans now anyway Thursday. Ironically he gets at me for not being able to be in the house by myself apparently when I’m here all the time. I told him he was acting controlling.

I’m so tired. Happy valentines eh!

Are you saying that he's objecting to you going to the meeting when he's going to be out on that evening anyway?

He's not acting controlling, he's actively being controlling.

This is how it happens, it creeps in by degrees.
Before you know where you are, you're questioning and then cancelling a simple, straightforward outing that there shouldn't be any issue about you attending. Why is that? Because your partner has not only ignored your boundary, he's also intimating wrongdoing on your part by defending it. Indeed, he even accuses you of being manipulative...the very action he is currently embodying himself.

It's not love. It's control.

Don't take my word for it though, you can read up on this stuff from plenty of reputable sources.