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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Social media

11 replies

Lee2323 · 14/02/2023 16:45

Ok, first let me start by saying I get how this may sound as social media shouldn’t be important however it’s not really the point. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a couple of years. We did break up last June and I went no contact and blocked on everything bc we just weren’t on the same page. After 4 months he emails me asks to talk and Ofcourse says everything to get me to give him another chance. He has never posted me on social media. I am on his social media page from others tagging us but he said when we got back together how he was going to change his profile pic to us and all kinds of other stuff. Well I wasn’t ready for him to do that so I said not yet bc I needed ti ease my way back into the relationship. Then in December I was ready but now he will not. Says he doesn’t care if other people post or if I do and tag him but “it’s not him” to post stuff like that. But he did have profile pics of him and the ex wife. They’ve not together for 5 years. He also says his daughters would be jealous 17 & 20 years old btw if he did that. I feel like they’re too old to be jealous of their father doing that. Although I know it’s true. But it’s weird to me. And I feel like bc I’m not their mother that’s why they would care but obviously if he changed it to him and ex wife they wouldn’t be jealous. AIBU that I think this is odd. I feel like this is never going to just be a normal relationship.

OP posts:
Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 14/02/2023 17:11

I don't think it's healthy to be this focussed on social media. If the relationship is good then this really isn't a big deal. If there are other issues then you'd be better to address them. I barely use SM and i wouldn't like someone trying to dictate what i should have as a profile picture.

Sirzy · 14/02/2023 17:13

I think if your going to be this focused on what he doesn’t post on Facebook then maybe it’s not the right relationship for you.

Grizzledstrawberry · 14/02/2023 17:31

Is he committed to you in any other ways?

If so, then I wouldn't worry about facebook, its not a big deal, most social media posts are fake or sugar coated for all to see.

If he's not, then the issue is bigger than Facebook and more to do with his lack of commitment, I'm guessing its this one, especially with the lame excuses of his adult children been jealous.

Lee2323 · 14/02/2023 17:39

Grizzledstrawberry · 14/02/2023 17:31

Is he committed to you in any other ways?

If so, then I wouldn't worry about facebook, its not a big deal, most social media posts are fake or sugar coated for all to see.

If he's not, then the issue is bigger than Facebook and more to do with his lack of commitment, I'm guessing its this one, especially with the lame excuses of his adult children been jealous.

No he is committed , and the excuse of his adult daughters is actually really a thing. We went on a trip and the 20 year old gets jealous if he went to lunch their with me and my son and she didn’t go. My issues are deeper than the “profile pic.” Since we have been back together this time he really has been pretty great and committed but previously when we dated, before the blocking, he was wishy washy and disappointed me so many times. And this time I think bc when we got back together he kept saying he was going to do that, bc I didn’t want Him to and he knew other men were trying to date me but I feel like once he felt like he was all the way in and I was ready to put our relationship back there and he reacted in that way it just pissed me off. Like he didn’t keep his word like the bull shut he used to do before. Again he really doesn’t do that now at all but that pissed me off. And the whole kid thing can be a lot. They’re old.

OP posts:
Testina · 14/02/2023 17:49

If there’s an issue with his relationship with his daughters that will be exacerbated by him adding you in his profile picture then - although he should be sorting that nonsense out - he shouldn’t do it.

But come on, this is ridiculous!

Testina · 14/02/2023 17:51

“Like he didn’t keep his word like the bull shut he used to do before. Again he really doesn’t do that now at all but that pissed me off.”

But he does do that now.
So why are you putting up with it?
There is other cock out there - you said yourself other men were trying to date you.
Raise your bar.

Testina · 14/02/2023 17:52

By raise your bar, I don’t mean find a man who’ll put you on sone meaningless twee profile photo on fb 🙄
I mean - find someone to have an adult relationship with where neither of you are bothered about that nonsense and don’t need it as some measure of commitment.

Lee2323 · 14/02/2023 17:54

Testina · 14/02/2023 17:52

By raise your bar, I don’t mean find a man who’ll put you on sone meaningless twee profile photo on fb 🙄
I mean - find someone to have an adult relationship with where neither of you are bothered about that nonsense and don’t need it as some measure of commitment.

Yea I agree.

OP posts:
MaverickGooseGoose · 14/02/2023 18:15

I'm not on dh's profile nor he on mine. We don't comment or like things in general because we live together and actually talk.

My sister has full blown conversations with her husband when they are sitting in the same room, it's very odd.

Dinkeigh · 14/02/2023 22:53

You do realise that social media isn't real life though? Much better to actually have a good real life than worrying about what's on someone's Facebook.

hayawoof · 10/04/2023 16:50

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