To ask for your advice about my mental health?

[LazyDaisy89]

Recently, my anxiety has got REALLY bad. My health anxiety is through the roof and I’ve convinced myself I’ve had kidney disease, liver disease, heart failure and several different types of cancer in the past few months. Sometimes I have a tiny symptom but other times I just read about the disease and convince myself I have it. For example, I noticed that a part of my nail was a slightly different colour to another part and read online that this could be a sign of heart failure and have been worried sick that I have heart failure. I had a swollen lymph node (turns out it wasn’t swollen, I just could feel it) and thought I must have cancer. I had a bruise on my toenail and thought it was melanoma. A couple of weeks ago I randomly remembered that I took codeine for a while in 2016 for a back problem and suddenly decided I must have kidney damage. And so on.

My anxiety is also really really bad surrounding world events and just everything. If there’s no problem then I’ll make one up.

When I feel this anxiety it’s like this deep, all consuming feeling of terror. I feel sick, I’m snappy and irritable, I can’t think straight, I always imagine the worst, I get physical symptoms too. When I go outside the world just feels different - like dark, weird, not normal, because now I know there’s this huge thing wrong. It’s so scary.

I obsessively check the news and I know I should stop but then I’m scared something has happened and I won’t know. I obsessively Google symptoms and again, I know I should stop but I’m looking for reassurance and in seeking reassurance I usually find something else to worry about. I honestly feel sick a lot these days because of pure worry.

What do I do? I’ve never been medicated for anxiety because my GP in the UK was really against medication for anxiety as he thought that it could lead to dependency in long term cases of anxiety (I have had this issue for around 15 years now but very much on and off - I can be totally free from anxiety for months or even a year and then it gets randomly triggered again). I’m not in the UK right now. I’m thinking of going to a hospital and asking for medication because I just feel I can’t cope, but then I’m also worried about side effects and long term effects caused by medications, and worrying about this will probably make using them counterproductive! Or would CBT be more productive? Or a combination of the two?

Right now I’m losing my mind about so many things - I’m scared I am sick even though I have no symptoms and feel physically great - I need to do a medical check to get my new work visa to get a much better job but am staying with the lower paid job because the idea of a medical terrifies me so much. I’m scared about the situation with Russia, I’m scared that these bloody Chinese balloons are aliens, I’m scared that someone I love will get sick, I’m just scared about so many things but I know that my reactions are out of proportion and very not normal, unhealthy to the point of being almost comical because I overreact so dramatically to everything. Please help! Or please reassure me. Please be nice! I know I sound crazy right now!

I’d definitely speak to a doctor.

it sounds all consuming.

for what it’s worth, I’ve just been signed off with stress & felt incredibly anxious. I do spiral once I get going so have to nip it in the bud early. I wish I’d asked for help sooner.

someone might be along with better advice soon.

I would see a doctor. I had similar symptoms, and eventually started on medication. Massive massive improvement in the symptoms and my whole life. I have had no side effects (I think that may be rare, but just to show it can happen). I may be on these drugs for ever (to be honest, I'm of the mindset that if it works, don't tinker with it!), but then I reckon if they work, why would that be an issue :)

Thank you so much for your replies! If you don’t mind my asking, @Throckmorton , what medication were you prescribed? @Rocketsmocket i feel as though I wish I’d asked for help earlier too - finally need to get up the courage to do it !

My husband had terrible health anxiety plus OCD. He luckily had health insurance and after a particularly bad episode he ended up being a day patient at the Priory where he had lots of CBT and was also given Citalopram. This was 12 years ago. The CBT taught him tools to cope and the meds help him stay calm. His doctor is happy for him to stay in them forever if necessary. Our lives are so much better now. Medication really can be helpful so I would suggest asking for it but also a referral for CBT.

Thank you for your reply! I also have OCD - I am not entirely sure if anxiety is a part of that or a separate issue entirely but OCD definitely doesn’t help things - I have a lot of intrusive thoughts which fuels my anxiety and a lot of OCD rituals which are linked to my anxiety - it’s like a never ending cycle once it gets going 😭 It’s really good to know that someone in a similar sounding situation was able to find a solution. I’m looking into online CBT now as well (my language skills aren’t quite up to doing it in the local language - searching for someone British who can do on Zoom.)

Sure - I'm on sertraline. I had CBT too, which was great, but I think might have been better to do after starting on the medication so I would have been in a calmer place to take it all in :) I also find the Headspace app really useful - not in a fixing-the-problem sort of a way, but just in a calming-moment kind of way.

Not to minimise the mental health aspect of what you’re feeling, but do get your bloods checked. I’ve always had awful anxiety but have found out my chronically low iron levels are one cause of it. I’ve felt quite a bit better since getting on strong iron supplements. I’m still a bit of an anxious mess, but at a level I can handle it.

It might be worth considering a GP who is open minded to all of the relevant treatment options available and has a more patient - centred approach.

There's no one-size-fits all and a good GP will go through your options and support you.