Downsizing

[Hijinks75]

We looking to buy a smaller property now all the kids have left, problem is DW wants a new build that are close to where we are and just won’t look at anything else, I can see the advantage, maintenance free, cheaper to heat, close to school the grandkids attend, but my problem with that is , I really dislike the open plan kitchen/ diner thing and every house on the estate is like that apart from the ones that are far too expensive and not really any smaller and the gardens are so small, I know new builds don’t have big gardens but it’s about the size of our current front garden and I really want something bigger, so am I being unreasonable to not want to move there or should I just agree to what she wants

We did all the sums and downsizing didn’t give us much more money a month and cost a fortune, with EA and solicitors fees, removals, stamp duty.
so we are staying and will install a stair lift when we need one

I hate open plan too, there's no privacy and kitchen smells get into everything
There was a report a while ago that lots of people are wanting to move away from this

A large garden may be lovely at the moment but becomes an expensive liability when you are too frail to dig or bend and have to hire a gardener!
The open plan layout is easily solved with a partition wall or room divider.

We recently downsized. DH and I had very different ideas about what we wanted with DH being similar in wanting new build. I did not want to be on a family estate again at all!

That said I compromised on viewing all options and so did he. Fortunately we found middle ground so not new build but not full rural idle that I was originally hoping for.

it’s a big decision and you should both be happy. I would have a hated new build estate again in the long run so although I was open to viewing I knew I would have stayed put rather than buy one! It was really more about appearing to be open to DH’s wants whilst helping him to see properties that would be much better long term. He got there in the end!

I wish I'd had the money for a new build, I hope you can make the compromise with the open plan and smaller garden.

I am alone now, and downsized to a 1930's bungalow. The seller told me the flat roof had been replaced in 2019 - unfortunately a cowboy job, all 30 sq m of it was blown off in Storm Arwen, followed a few days later by the ceiling coming in. Then I had curtains made and the man refused to work as the floor was 'rotten' - I'd had a full L3 survey but they can't lift carpets/move furniture. Every floor was rotten, I had to have all of them replaced last August, £15K I didn't expect to spend.

Not sure how old you are OP which makes some difference. Is this your last move or will you plan on moving again?

You should sit down and agree on why you are downsizing (financial necessity, free up cash to travel more or support kids, less maintenance as you get older or now to enjoy being able to pursue other interests) and think about the lifestyle you want now and in future and how you will use the house and garden. Then think about what features a house needs to provide the lifestyle you both want. You may warm to new builds or your DW may realise a new build doesn’t meet both your needs. Is it that deep down you don’t really want to move?

I wouldn’t move to a house I hated because my partner wanted too, I would keep talking and keep looking.

If the main issue is garden, have you thought about an allotment?

Re the open plan kitchen/diner, do you want a separate dining room because you are used to it or do you really use it every day? I was dubious when I first got a kitchen diner but wouldn’t go back now. Sometimes it’s about the style of the kitchen to make it feel more formal or homely or divided into zones, which can be changed.

Is the house accessible if you have mobility issues in future? A large garden will be lovely but can you afford a gardener in a few years time?

Whatever you choose should be something you are both happy with. I have an idea of a dream home but have to compromise because my husband likes having a garage, drive etc. I have myself drawn the line at new estates. IMO your wife needs to be more open minded so that you can jointly find a compromise.

We upsized into a newbuild last year just as we were heading towards (early) retirement.

Our original plan had been to move when retired and them completely gut / re-model the new house to suit our needs (just the two of us but OH has health issues and who knows what old age will mean for me?) but we could see the way the wind was blowing with regards to rebuild costs.
One of the newbuild properties we looked at ticked almost every box so it made sense to go with that and renovation was forgotten.

More bedrooms / bathrooms but it means we can set one out with a hospital bed & hoist if required.
Wide straight staircase for a stairlift but alternatively could have a lift from living-room direct to bedroom-1.
Low switches & high sockets.
Wide doors.
No step to front & rear doors.
Open-plan kitchen / diner / family room (plenty of space to move around) but separate cosy lounge (with space for lift in corner if required).
Bizarrely large (but very useful) downstairs cloakroom.
More compact garden than before but still a decent size and a blank canvas with none of the mature trees / shrubs we had before (very labour intensive with trimming, pruning, sweeping up leaves etc). Can be laid out on one level for easy access.
Wide driveway which allows car doors to be opened fully for easy access.

We downsized to a smaller older property, in a large village because like period, character houses, gardening and seeing daily life going on all around us. All houses need maintenance at some point, old or new build.

New build, estate houses are not necessarily built well or have the best fixtures and fittings, house builders are in it to make profit and put as many houses on the land as possible. On the plus side they do have to comply with modern heating and insulation standards. Will you like Estate living, most are built on the edge of established towns.
A word of warning about downsizing, don’t go too small.

Some context needed, early 60s, wife not 60 yet, took early retirement several years ago, been in present house 25 years since built so already live on an
estate, fairly large corner plot which we extended to 6 bedroom 20 years ago, even buying a 4 bed new build where DW wants would free up substantial sum, plan to give some to kids and use some towards more holidays etc and some to save, issue with open plan is mine, have grandkids 5 days week, eldest in particular likes to take herself off to one of the downstairs rooms and play and wouldn’t have that option in kitchen diner, I get the garden thing, as get older may not want a big garden but at minute just not ready for something a third of size of what we have , last move, who knows