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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Starting to think I’ve been taken for a ride?

20 replies

Pocketmonstie · 13/02/2023 22:50

I went through various interviews (at great expense because I had to travel for 2 assessment days) for a new job back in December. I’ve still not had a formal offer. I’m in touch with one of the woman who interviewed me who keeps telling me something will be coming through very soon. She says it’s a long winded sign off process but I should definitely hear something by the 27th February. (This date has changed twice already). I’ve been really daft to believe this was going to happen, haven’t I? I got swept up in the change of industry and the opportunity. I just feel really deflated tonight though

OP posts:
Gardeningempire · 13/02/2023 22:52

YANBU but they are if they keep stringing you along. I really hope it works out for you OP.

Original poster
Pocketmonstie · 13/02/2023 22:58

Thanks - I don’t know whether to hold on or just bow out now for my own sanity. I keep obsessively checking my phone and emails. I’m so disappointed and upset every time the date changes. And although the manager is keeping me in the loop with regular updates it all rings a bit hollow now to me.

OP posts:
IWineAndDontDine · 13/02/2023 23:00

Can you mentally bow out but leave it alone? Don't expect it but if it comes then great?

Original poster
Pocketmonstie · 13/02/2023 23:08

I wish I could. But I’m the kind of person who couldn’t resist texting an ex until their number is deleted from my phone. I think I need it to no longer be an option which is sad if it’s actually going to happen.

OP posts:
EyesOnThePies · 13/02/2023 23:32

Very frustrating, and a long wait… but hang on in there! Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, cut off your nose to spite your face, you did the assessments, they said it is long winded, no reason to doubt their sincerity.

Fingers crossed for you.

Grimchmas · 13/02/2023 23:35

I'm not advocating this but given what you've said how about if 27th doesn't materialise then give them a deadline by which you will need a formal offer in writing (say 15th March) and tell them if it's not appeared by then you'll have to withdraw your acceptance of the offer.

Grimchmas · 13/02/2023 23:36

I work for an organisation that does this to candidates and its endlessly frustrating, I feel so sorry for the candidates and angry at my employer.

Original poster
Pocketmonstie · 14/02/2023 12:56

@Grimchmas whats the reason for them doing it at your place?

I have just had an email saying fingers crossed it will be sorted by the end of the week. I don’t buy it

OP posts:
Notthisnotthat · 14/02/2023 13:05

My workplace does this, so annoying. It's got worse recently as they want the savings of not paying for that post for a few months.

MrsBunnyEars · 14/02/2023 13:13

This happened a lot when I worked for a big bank.

There were just so, so many processes/ forms/ checks / sign offs needed, often by people for whom it was never a priority.

So don’t lose hope of an offer!

But it was indicative of it being a stifling and sclerotic place to work.

Leftbutcameback · 14/02/2023 13:28

Just checking it’s not public sector? The bureaucracy involved is shocking and it can take months. We’ve lost a lot of candidates this way.

Lakeyloo · 14/02/2023 13:29

Do you really want the role ? If so, I wouldn't cut my nose off to spite my face (although it's tempting....disgraceful way to impress potential new employees) but I would crack on and start applying for other jobs. You never know, something better may come along and you can tell them to poke it.

Original poster
Pocketmonstie · 14/02/2023 13:32

Leftbutcameback · 14/02/2023 13:28

Just checking it’s not public sector? The bureaucracy involved is shocking and it can take months. We’ve lost a lot of candidates this way.

No, private sector - working for a bank.

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 14/02/2023 13:58

Could be a couple of things.
they are waiting for someone else to accept - you are there plan b.
they have a recruitment stop and are trying to sort it
the relevant person(s) are on annual/ sick leave
etc

I would find a plan b for yourself.
many years ago, it took 6 months to get into a job. Recruitment stop. Internal candidate had to be redeployed. Then another position came up. Am still with this company 15 years later

sianiboo · 14/02/2023 14:08

I once went for an interview at the end of June, didn't hear I'd got the job until the middle of August, didn't actually start the job until the end of September!

I nearly went mad during that time, debating whether to keep 'bothering' them with enquiries as to the progress, etc. Turned out they'd outsourced their HR...it was a shit company to work for (owned by an American trust funder who resented having to abide by UK employment laws) and I left after 6 months!

I hope you definitely do hear by the end of the week.

Original poster
Pocketmonstie · 14/02/2023 14:13

Some of these comments are starting to make me think maybe I don’t want the job anyway. 😂

OP posts:
throwingandcatching · 14/02/2023 14:16

December is only 2 months ago? That’s no time at all! I interviewed for my last job in the June and didn’t start until december!

harrassedmumto3 · 14/02/2023 14:30

I would find this difficult to live with too, OP.
Hope it all works out for you!

Fitbachick · 14/02/2023 15:14

Hi i had this was offered job i think it was July and did not actually start until October. Same industry. So do not give up hope as took months for me to actually start too.

Bluebird1234 · 14/02/2023 15:19

They’ll be doing the identity and criminal record checks - that’s what takes the time.

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