To ask for help because I am miserable, have no life and don't know what to do anymore?

[AutismMountain]

Please help.
I divorced some years ago and since then it has been just me and my disabled and autistic dc who also has learning disabilities.
For the past years I have worked from home, self employed or subcontracted to ensure that I can also care for my child and this has been fine.

DC is a young adult now but still needs significant support, they will not stay in the house alone, they will not leave the house if no one is home and they need significant prompting and supervision although they are also doing very well in many ways.
The only time they leave the house is to go to sixth form two days a week or their morning Saturday job, other than that they do not want to ever go anywhere.
I am also a carer for another elderly relative who does not understand dc needs at all and feels that I should just leave dc to 'give me a break' which actually means going to do things they need help with instead and I end up being constantly torn between the two.

I am completely stuck with my life, I have health issues and very poor mental health myself. Financially the job I have is not bringing in enough money anymore. Dc receives a very small amount of money from their Saturday morning job and higher rate daily living of PIP. From April they will age out of tax credits so financially I will take a huge hit financially there too.

I cannot work outside of the house because dc would be unsafe to be left a significant amount of time and they finish sixth form in June. I do not have anyone to be here if I am not, I am applying for remote positions with more hours but so is everyone else and because I have been self employed for so long I do not even have references.

I have zero friends, I have zero hobbies, I don't know anyone locally, I cannot attend carers events other that online as I need to be back when dc gets back and dc will not come with me.

I am stuck, extremely depressed and a bit lost with life.
Honestly I do not want to be here anymore but I am scared of telling my gp that because dc needs me to be.

Sorry this is long. I just need to get it all out really.

I think you need to step back from caring for your elderly relative.

You can't sustain caring for your child with special needs and having to deal with your own mental and physical health issues as well as work and also look after a relative.

Make it clear to your relative/social services that they need to organise carers because you have to step back as you can no longer do everything in order to keep your sanity.

40 years ago you could have been my aunt. She died a couple of years ago, having spent her whole life caring for her son who has ASD and learning and physical difficulties. She was depressed and resentful for much of that time but she couldn't let him go.

When he was 18 her son was offered a place in a supported living home but she didn't like the look of it and so they lived together till she died when he was in his 50s. Late in life she admitted it had been a terrible mistake and when she died his life spiralled into chaos because he'd never had to learn to look after himself and because she had spoiled him for years. He wasted every penny she'd left him, has been exploited by unscrupulous people and is now spiralling into debt and homelessness and expects the rest of the family to bail him out all the time. There's very little help available. He has capacity but he's unable to cope with living independently.

For your sake and your daughter's too, you need to get out of this situation and break the dependency now, while she's young.