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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel so lacking in confidence re employment…

3 replies

BlackLabrador · 13/02/2023 18:51

I’m hoping I am but need a way to funk better. I can’t leave current (very much disliked) job until I have a new one. I’m on leave this week but have to go back next week.

Recently (6 months ago) I left an admin job where I’d worked for 15 years to go do a job I’d always fancied (and had the academic qualifications for). Long story shirt.. It hasn’t gone that well. Technically I can- and have- been doing the job, but anxiety wise it’s taken it’s toll and I can’t manage the deadlines. I need to go back to what I’m good at.

However, my confidence has taken a hit . I’m applying for stuff and getting responses but I’m feeing really worried that I’ll be crap at it and it’ll go wrong again.

Im middle aged and should be over such ridiculous anxiety. Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:
Pipsickl · 13/02/2023 19:18

Hiya, I recently went through the same thing, needed to leave, couldn’t leave till I had a new job. Anxiety through the roof, doubting myself etc.

you have my sympathy, it’s really daunting and horrible adding a job search to your list of things to cope with. I can’t offer any reassurance really, my job search was hard work, lots of false starts, people not calling back, left field interview questions that left me feeling like crap when I couldn’t answer etc.

what I did to get through it was take some leave from work and just spend a large chunk of time applying for stuff and dealing with the admin. Miserable. But it’s over now.

anyway in my desperation, I ended up taking a job which was kind of a step back (less money, less stress, easily met the requirement due to past experience etc) which gave me some headspace to look for what I actually wanted, and hey presto, 6 weeks later, when the pressure was off, I got offered an amazing job.

for me the bit that was important was leaving the job I hated, at all costs. Once that was off the plate, anxiety reduced and things got easier. Don’t give yourself a hard time thinking you must apply for the perfect job, give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Solve one problem at a time if you need to.

don’t know if any of that is helpful, I just wanted to say , I know how you feel and it will get better xxx

BlackLabrador · 13/02/2023 19:31

That IS helpful and thank you. And despite the dire typos in first post, I was actually good at admin ! I just didn’t have my glasses on! I know I need to suck it up for now and plod on but what you describe does seem a sensible move

OP posts:
Smoky1107 · 13/02/2023 21:05

I've recently been through this. I left a job that I was burnt out from to move a side ways step with promises of promotion.
I knew within a month I'd made a really bad choice, hated the company, the work and my confidence took such a huge knock my anxiety was dreadful and I would start work daily on edge. I was bored, not managed properly and regretted moving.
I decided to look around last summer and eight weeks ago I started in a promotion at a new organisation and I absolutely love it. The days before I felt sick with thoughts of am I good enough etc. but I am proving I am. Start looking. If it's not right it's not worth staying

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