To not tell my children their Guinea pig has died while we are away on holiday

[Murphs1]

We are away on holiday an hour from where we live. My dad is looking after our Guinea pig and called last night to say when he went to feed him, he hadn’t eaten yesterdays food.

I drove home early this morning to check the pig and he is very unwell and I’ve taken him to the vets. He has a respiratory infection and they are keeping him in to give fluids, antibiotics and to try and feed him. Given he’s nearly 7, they think his prognosis is poor.

I am staying at home until later today to see if he improves. If he improves I will take him with me to look after him on holiday. If he doesn’t improve by this afternoon, they will put him to sleep.

If he’s put to sleep I thought I may not tell my children straight away, and tell them at the end of our holiday, but I’m in a quandary whether this is the right thing to do. What would you do in this situation? My children are 12 and 14, and the younger child has ASD.

At their age, you would have to outright lie to conceal what’s happened, if it’s bad news. They’re bound to ask you. Younger children might be satisfied with ‘he’s poorly and has had to go to the vets’. I think older children will want more information. If it were me, I would explain gently what has happened. Hopefully he improves. If so, could your Dad have him? I don’t think I would take him back to the holiday home.

No I wouldn't tell them. Let them enjoy the rest of their holiday. That's what my parents did when our cat died and I'm glad they didn't tell me when it happened.

If they ask you outright it would be wrong to lie. I’d just be honest and say the vet has done their best but poor old pig was too old and poorly and has died.

I’m slightly on the fence about telling them he’s been put to sleep- we had to do this recently with our beloved dog and even though I know it was our only option I still question how I could do that. Our youngest DN was just told he died in his sleep which does sound more acceptable somehow.

I hope it’s not too awful.

Only you can judge what your kids are like. I wouldn't keep news like this from my 12yr old. We would have a cry and a cuddle and be devastated, but that is part of family life. I wouldn't like to patronise kids of this age by keeping the information back. But if you think your child will react very badly then you need to manage that as best you can.

Presumably they already no the Guinea pig is sick? If so it would be wrong to outright lie about it. If they have no clue why you went home and won’t ask about the Guinea pig on holiday then I think it’s fine not to bring it up yet.

Thank you for your replies. It’s tricky as I don’t want to ruin their holiday, and at the moment they don’t know why I’ve come back. But at the same time I remember finding out after a holiday a pet had died while we were away, and I wished I’d been told at the time.

I think if you’ve told them you’ve gone home to see the sick Guinea pig you’re better telling the truth than lying for the sake of a few days - it’ll still be dead when you get home.

If you told them you popped back home for another reason I’d be more inclined just not to mention it right now.

Wait til they get home and then tell them it’s died.

sorry but I don’t agree with side stepping death conversations by making up stories.

it’ll be sad for them but they’ll get over it

@bellylaughsalldaylong thanks for your reply, you said to tell them when they get home and then not to side step death and to make up stories. Sorry I’m a bit confused by your answer, but that said my head is all over the place at the mo.

I don't think they have to know the whole truth. Letting them enjoy the holiday and telling them when you get home is ok imo. The details and time line aren't so important here. You know your kids best and what they will best cope with. If their pet has died that is the part they need to know about and come to terms with.

I would tell them that the Guinea pig has died and would not wait. Hopefully the treatment will mean that is not the case.

If you’re on holiday then you are altogether and have time to discuss what has happened and be sad together. If you tell them once you’re home you will all be so busy unpacking, washing, getting ready for work and school that there won’t be the time to properly process.
On holiday you can have fun activities to distract whereas once you’re home the ‘Sunday night feeling’ will be compounded. Children are resilient and after being initially upset don’t be surprised to find that it’s you sat feeling sad whilst they’re off enjoying holiday activities.

My kids I would tell, and indeed did when one of our pigs died at an otherwise stressful time. Its kind of the point of having them, you lose them and grieve and it helps children learn they can cope with loss.

But you know your kids. If they will be overwhelmed because maybe this is a tricky time in other ways and this holiday is important to take their mind off things it's ok to delay the news so they can chill for a few more days. It's a completely family specific decision.

If your piggie is 7 (which is a fantastic age )
He has respiratory infection needing antibiotics and fluid and he hasn't eaten in the last 24 hours I'd say it is highly likely he'll be going to decline so much that euthanasia is the best choice for him

They don't do well with the respiration and they can get organ failure if they don;t eat , such complex little animals and yours is an old chap.

It is sad for your DC , I wuld tell both , then you don;t have to hope the 14yo can keep the news from the 12yo

@70isaLimitNotaTarget thanks for your reply, it’s reassuring to hear from I assume another pig owner? Yes I agree he is old and I think unlikely to improve, and tbh I thought they would pts and think that will be the likely outcome. Our other pig had an issue with gas in his stomach and the vets gave us meds and I syringe fed him 3 hrly for 3 days, which was traumatic for all and unsuccessful. Unless he makes a dramatic improvement, given his age, I wouldn’t do that again as now feel it was the wrong decision by myself and the vet. I think It’s good to give him a chance, but there’s a fine line between that and knowing when to let them go as peacefully as possible.

Are your children with their other parent at the moment? If so, I'd ask that parent to let them know their guinea pig is unwell and at the vets. That way, they have a chance of processing what might happen for themselves. If the guinea pig dies/is put to sleep, you can tell them when you return to the holiday.

Personally, if one of our piggies was that unwell, I wouldn't be collecting them to bring them on holiday. If he does need to be PTS, I would be telling my children he had died rather than suggesting there was a choice about when that happened.

I won’t be suggesting there was a choice at all. I was just thinking whether to wait until after the holiday or not to tell them. I certainly won’t be lying about what’s happened. Taking him was just grasping at straws as he is so unwell he would need feeding and meds which obviously isn’t practical in a caravan.

Sorry I’ve just re read, @SE13Mummy I won’t be telling them he was pts as there’s no benefit in that.

I’d lead them into it.
Parent or person they’re with says you’ve come back as GP is poorly, vet is trying their best.
Then when you get back tell them GP died but didn’t suffer.
Perhaps grandad can bury the GP in your garden?

@Murphs1

Yes , fellow guinea-pig keeper for many years (with my DD we had eight over eight years and I kept them as a child to early 20s ) .

They are little nightmares to syringe feed , its a time consuming messy process and not as easy as it sounds ! And for animals who's sole reason for existing is Eating they don't take kindly . It's a labour of love every couple of hours through the night and day .
Guinea pigs are stomachs on legs you cannot sneak an apple for yourself without them chiming in !

We had a piggie who was given saline infusions , he was a big solid young boar , we did say to the Vet that we knew he'd die but if it was safe for him we wanted him at home . He did within a few hours , in my DD arms
With one of our ither boars (he was 5yo) the Vet sugggested infusion but we felt it was time to say we've tried our best and let him go .
It is never an easy choice but sometimes its the only one .

And if I had a quid for every person who said "You paid how much for treatment / to PTS , they only cost you a tenner !" I'd be a millionaire .

@Murphs1 sorry for some reason I thought your holiday was coming to an end.

id just tell them when he dies I’m not sure I’d keep up a pretence for the duration of the holiday.

they’ll be sad but they’ll be fine