What Maura Higgins looks for in a man: someone who will "intimidate" her

[TrishM80]

"I quite like a guy who’s intimidating. A lot of guys bow down to me and I get the ick. They have to put me in my place, but they have to respect me. Mammy always brings this up, why do you want to be intimidated/’ and I say, I don’t know, it’s just ooooooh!’"

With male violence against women still an ongoing problem, AIBU to find Maura Higgins' comments utterly depressing? She's an influential figure amongst teenage girls and young women, and here she is espousing the virtues of dating potentially violent thugs.

Because it feeds into the dangerous stereotype that women enjoy the "whiff" of danger in a relationship.

Whether or not you do, or irrespective of whether it is a healthy trait, many women are turned on by the rush provided by the risk and danger of a "bad boy".

She made her name on Love Island a few years ago and has carved a niche for herself as a model and social media "influencer".

But she is a bit thick. She was on Michael McIntyre's quiz show a year or so ago. Her "specialist" subject was Ireland. She was asked, which is furthest from Tipperary: Cork or Donegal? Be like asking an English person which is furthest from Essex: London or Newcastle?

Needless to say she got the answer wrong.

Without knowing who she is or the context of this comment, I think she means she wants to be with a man who isn't a pushover and is referring more to the thrill of the chase.

I was very intimidated by my partner when I first met him because he's bloody gorgeous and I had a huge crush on him and frankly I couldn't believe he was interested in me. I was incredibly nervous for our first date but I couldn't wait to go on it.

Nothing to do with violence or oppression...

You seem to have it in for her. Just say you don’t like her. If you had watched her on Love Island I think you might realise that she is a very strong, assertive woman and likely wants to be with an equally strong and assertive man. No reference to violence whatsoever in her comments.

I actually think she is a good role model for young women - called out the men for sexist double standards and unacceptable comments when, e.g Mollie Mae who was mentioned here earlier, didn’t.

She made her name on Love Island

oic

This!

I didn't see anything wrong in what was quoted. Some women prefer a more dominant man and there's nothing at all wrong with that.

I'm contrast to some other posters, I do actually think she means intimidating. She's not bright but she's not totally stupid.

It is very poor approached, granted, and as she is influential to her audience, it's not a good message to share.

From what I recall, I did see her on Love
Island, and she had very good self esteem and very strong boundaries. She genuinely didn't take any shit from some of the men who had their eye on her, and dumped one that she really did like because he talked to 'the lads' about her in a derogatory way.

I think if she says she wants a man who can rule the roost with her, she means it.

Except she didn't say "dominant", she said "intimidating". Several times.

Judging by some of the replies, maybe that creep Andrew Tait is right after all.

Maura Higgins is not the most shining example of an intellectual woman. I wouldn't be taking relationship advice from her. She got famous because she's thin and pretty.

Meaning?

Who is she? Is she someone I should be paying attention too?

I agree ☝️

Oh, I just had to go and Google Love Island. Sounds like this generations version of Big Brother? I didn't realise we were all taking notice of reality TV people now.

In an ideal world, she would be ignored. You know perfectly well, millions of young women do take notice of these insipid, vacuous reality TV personalities. And here they are, getting a message that seeking a man who will "intimidate" you is desirable. And young men are getting that message too.

The only one making disgusting comments is you OP, not her.
Calling her thick and suggesting Andrew Tate is right just because she didn't express herself very well? Aren't you a peach.

So, ignoring the goady faux-ignorance and pretend-concern in your OP, the reality is that you don’t like Love Island and those who are famous resultant from it so we’re hunting to be offended by absolutely anything that was said. You struck hold when you found something that you had plausible deniability to think was offensive (when, let’s be honest, no one with a brain cell would read it how you’ve presented it in your OP) and have tried to start a rant thread about her. In addition, you’re going to complain about other people paying her attention whilst actively drawing attention to her too.

YABU. You know a major contributor to women staying in abusive relationships? Women having low self-esteem and thinking they’re worthless because women like you treat them that way and insult them and encourage others to pile on. Maybe you should realise your attitude and behaviour is a far bigger part of the damn problem than hers.

@Chickenly absolutely. The more time I spend on MN and come across posters like the OP, the more I realise that some women are simply don’t like other women.