To ask for advice from anyone

[londonscalling1]

I feel like utter shit and I know nobody can fix things for me on here but I just needed to vent I suppose

I’m really struggling and can’t seem to get myself out of this mess. Everything is going to shit.

I’ve got my final year project for university to do and I can’t seem to get it how I like it. I’ve always been a perfectionist (and slightly obsessive until I’m 100% happy with whatever I’m doing) but i’ve spent so long on it and it’s still not right. I have a supportive supervisor for my project who has given me so much advice and help, but I feel like I’m letting her down because I can’t even write anything half decent. Or get any of my data to work. I know she will be wishing she didn’t have me to supervise because I’m shit and I’m just wasting her time. Over the last 3 days I’ve slept 7 hours in total because I’m so stressed and overwhelmed with it and I end up working until ridiculous hours. I don’t actually feel too tired though surprisingly I feel relatively awake (but also absolutely exhausted at the same time IYSWIM)

I just feel so stressed about everything. I’m worried about my project. Im worried about finishing university and not getting a good job. I’m worried about letting down my supervisor. I’m worried about getting a crap final grade and letting down my parents. They’re hugely supportive but the problem is they believe i can do it and it’s completely misplaced because I can’t. I was always a straight A student in school but I’m actually so stupid, I just have an ok memory. I’m thick though apart from that

even my part time job is a mess now. I’m doing shit at it and my colleagues are probably fed up of me just messing it all up and annoying them. We’re really understaffed right now and a few times it’s been taken out on me as frustration from managers (but in fairness they have always apologised for taking it out on me and snapping so I’m not bothered, everyone makes mistakes) but I suppose it’s just compounding the feelings that I’m ruining everything I do right now and everyone hates me

I just feel so miserable and overwhelmed with everything and it’s just like I’m ruining everything for everyone right now and nothing I’m doing is right for anyone or anything. I’m not feeling very well at the moment and am on some very strong steroids and antibiotics so that’s probably not helping either but I feel so bloody miserable and stressed and all I want is a hug from my mom

im about to go to sleep properly and have a long lie in tomorrow morning so I’m sure I’ll feel better about things tomorrow after that, everything always feels worse at night though. I’m just so fed to of crying myself to sleep because I feel so shit and useless at everything I do

has anyone else been in a situation like this and have any advice at all, thanks would be really appreciated x

I felt like this a lot during final year of uni. I bet you're doing so much better than you think. For me it turned out to be undiagnosed depression and anxiety so it may be worth speaking to your GP as it's having such an effect on your sleep and day to day life. I really feel for you OP, I remember it being such a tough time. You are not useless - you are working very hard and you will get through it❤️ be kind to yourself - sleep will help you feel better and heal physically, you are doing your absolute best at a very stressful time x

Hi @londonscalling1 bless you, take a step back, take some rest, you're doing great ok, don't be so hard on yourself x

get yourself some sleep, you'll be fine, just take a break now tonight, and start again, taking it one step at a time when you have rested.

Best wishes xx

You've got a lot on your plate, no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.
I remember the final project panic well and I certainly felt panicky and useless at the time.

How I got through it was breaking life up into chunks and making sure that I got the sleep I desperately needed. Sounds like you do, too.
You're obviously not thick, not useless and you're not letting anyone down but you have sure got yourself into a bad place.

Catching up on your sleep will help with your mental and physical health, and best of all, your unconscious mind can do some of the work around your project, so that you look at it with new eyes and maybe wake up with ideas.

If you have enough time, try and put it away for a short while and do something that you enjoy. You will find more clarity when you return to it refreshed.

I would certainly speak to my GP, and if you need to, ask the Uni for an extension on medical grounds. You have a supportive supervisor, which is a great advantage.

As for work, being short staffed doesn’t help things, but it is their problem, and good to know that they apologise when they are unreasonable, and hopefully, they are trying to recruit.
I'm sure you're not doing everything wrong, sure your colleagues don't feel that way about you, but it is all part of you feeling so low.
You sound like a lovely and conscientious person, and you will make it. 📜💜

Don't give up.

You need to focus on basic wellbeing though and try to quieten down your negative thinking.

Focus on putting in place sleep, food, exercise and meditation/yoga/similar. Then work around that.

You are understandably overwhelmed but your internal dialogue is not going to be helping.