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AIBU?

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Original poster

That this isn't a fair split!

21 replies

Jellybean85 · 12/02/2023 20:33

My cousin was due to be in London for work. I'm in the far north of England. She's there for work from the far east so we don't get to catch up much. I arranged to come down and meet her.

The first two nights she's sharing a hotel with her boyfriend.

She was always going to be staying until Sunday.

I asked for a room for myself Thursday night then we were going to split a room Friday/Saturday.
I can't go because of a family member going into hospital unexpectedly.

I expect to pay for the Thursday night of course!! But she's also asked for my share of Friday/Saturday? She would have been there anyway, splitting it would have been a bonus of course but if I had never been coming she would always have had to pay 🙈

It's fine I'm going to pay because family but just feeling a bit stung

OP posts:
TyneTeas · 12/02/2023 20:34

Has she paid more for a room for both of you than she would've just for her?

tirednewmumm · 12/02/2023 20:35

No the price is the same they don't do single person supplement but she has selected a twin rather than a double

Octonaut4Life · 12/02/2023 20:35

I don't really see the problem, unless her company has paid for the room or something.

HerRoyalNotness · 12/02/2023 20:37

Sounds strange, if she’s there for work surely it’s on expenses

tirednewmumm · 12/02/2023 20:38

Not on the expenses sorry that would be cheeky! Should have been clearer, work related, but a development type course she's chosen and funded herself

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/02/2023 20:38

It sort of depends

Did she book the hotel after you'd made this plan?
Did you let her know with enough time to book a cheaper alternative?
Would it have been cheaper for her to book a room just for herself?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/02/2023 20:39

tirednewmumm · 12/02/2023 20:35

No the price is the same they don't do single person supplement but she has selected a twin rather than a double

Name change fail?

tirednewmumm · 12/02/2023 20:39

She had picked the hotel already

3 weeks ish notice so not sure if she can change but she would only be changing to a double room from a single I think

Original poster
Jellybean85 · 12/02/2023 20:40

Ha yes but doesn't really matter on this thread just swap between a few to be safe on more personal stuff!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybean85 · 12/02/2023 20:40

Ah well happy to know there's a mix of views and I'll be transferring the money without mentioning, we're close really and wouldn't ever want to make it awkward for future family stuff

OP posts:
Georgieporgie29 · 12/02/2023 20:41

I’m not sure why you’ve name changed after starting the thread? It makes it really difficult to keep up with your posts and just seems pointless.

if the room is the same price as she would be paying anyway and you’ve just added on and it would have been a bonus to split the cost then no you shouldn’t pay. If she’s got a more expensive/bigger room because you were coming then yes you should pay.

Onnabugeisha · 12/02/2023 20:42

You dont owe her anything.

Abba123 · 12/02/2023 20:43

You are the one not following through on the arrangement.

You don’t know the ins and outs of her circumstances.

You were supposed to be there and you weren’t because of your own issues. Not her fault.

The plan was for you to split the cost, so split the cost!

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/02/2023 20:47

If she's budgeted and made all her plans around only paying half the cost of the room, then it's a massive blow to suddenly be paying twice as much because someone cancelled the plans.

SunshineAndFizz · 12/02/2023 20:48

If she'd booked the room before you said you'd meet her, and had planned to be there herself anyway, then she should just pay herself.

If you collectively made plans to book and split a room, then you should still pay your half.

OnTheBoardwalk · 12/02/2023 20:50

Surely work is paying?

my company would allow a guest to join me in the room but not obviously expenses like breakfast for them

Snoken · 12/02/2023 21:20

So you knew three weeks in advance that you weren't going to make it? So that means you cancelled a trip three weeks away because a relative has been urgently admitted to hospital. Is the relative even likely to still be in hospital in three weeks?

Giveaschitt · 12/02/2023 21:29

Snoken · 12/02/2023 21:20

So you knew three weeks in advance that you weren't going to make it? So that means you cancelled a trip three weeks away because a relative has been urgently admitted to hospital. Is the relative even likely to still be in hospital in three weeks?

Where are you seeing that it's three weeks in advance? I've re-read OP's posts multiple times now and am not seeing it at all!

ChefsSalad · 12/02/2023 21:43

@Giveaschitt the OP name changed half way through the thread and says this.

OP, would/could she have made arrangements with her boyfriend if she wasn't meeting you for those couple of days?

IWineAndDontDine · 13/02/2023 07:32

Georgieporgie29 · 12/02/2023 20:41

I’m not sure why you’ve name changed after starting the thread? It makes it really difficult to keep up with your posts and just seems pointless.

if the room is the same price as she would be paying anyway and you’ve just added on and it would have been a bonus to split the cost then no you shouldn’t pay. If she’s got a more expensive/bigger room because you were coming then yes you should pay.

Sometimes it does it automatically

WhatTrophy · 13/02/2023 07:35

It wouldn't occur to me not to offer.

I'd expected to spend the money, I'd just stick with the original payment arrangements without a 2nd thought.

That said, as your cousin, I wouldn't have asked either.

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