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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this a normal 8 year olds party ?!

40 replies

cadburyegg · 12/02/2023 20:23

Birthday party today for my DC1, 7 kids in total including DC2 and one friend of his I said he could invite too.
I found it sooo chaotic and stressful! Maybe cos it was my first drop off party?! One of my friends (one of the parents) stayed to help but I found the games / activities they finished very quickly and were all very overexcited.
I am quite noise sensitive so I always tell my dc to use their indoor voices etc so it came as a shock that a couple of the older ones were SO loud. I did have to tell them to settle down and stop yelling a few times. They seemed surprised! Fortunately they did run off steam in the garden too.

Is this normal for this age?! How can I make it more manageable next time!? Or are my expectations too high?

OP posts:

StopitSarah · 12/02/2023 20:25

Normal for a party at home. Probably why I have never had a party for my dc at home! Trampolining, village hall etc. Much less stressful.

Singleandproud · 12/02/2023 20:26

Honestly? Tell your child they can have a select few and book a party at your local trampoline or climbing place. Let the venue sort everything else out. Home parties are a nightmare, seem to actually cost a fortune in food, games, party bags and your time when outsourcing it doesn't cost much more.

Marblessolveeverything · 12/02/2023 20:26

Yep, hence very successful trampoline parks.

Weatherwax134 · 12/02/2023 20:28

It sounds normal tbh. I find kids parties far too loud and chaotic, I throw myself into it for the love of my DCs but I'd happily do without it haha. I found a couple of ways round it; 1. Book a play centre, or entertainer etc. and have someone else run the party (obvious downside is the cost). 2. Don't have a 'party' but ask if DC wants to invite a friend to the cinema. 3. Have a party but theme it around an event e.g., we've had an arty party (everyone came in old clothes and we did loads of painting), a water fight party and a nerf gun party. The water fight/nerf gun options are still loud and chaotic but at least they happen outside, and everyone's shattered by the time the cake comes out

QueenCamilla · 12/02/2023 20:29

Totally normal. You got off lightly, in fact.

The only kid's party my mum hosted had curtains on the ground with the rod and some plaster and "My sister is a pig" writen on the ceiling by a boy who climbed the bunk bed.

I suppose that's why most birthday parties are held at a soft-play or similar.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 12/02/2023 20:29

Sounds pretty normal

DD1 turned 8 in Jan. She had always previously had "venue birthdays" i.e. trampolining, structured activity etc with c 10 children.

This year, we said she could choose 3 friends and do something "more grown up". She chose swimming and pizza and I asked one of the other mums to help as it involved water. It was sooo much more relaxed. So you might try that next year?

Oncetheystartschool · 12/02/2023 20:29

Sounds normal to me. My DC8 had a pretty noisy party apart from when they all got focused on craft for 15mins. I plan out everything in 15min blocks as that seems to be how long their collective attention lasts. I also do as much as I can outside (if at home) as noise seems more tolerable there.

scrivette · 12/02/2023 20:50

I am a Beaver Leader, 6/7/8 year old boys are VERY noisy especially when in a pack... I loose my voice every single week.

tootiredtoocare · 12/02/2023 20:52

Never did parties. Invite 2/3 friends for a trip bowling/cinema/softplay/trampolining/anywhere you like as long as I don't have to do a party 😂

Mischance · 12/02/2023 20:53

Ah yes - parties! They are all behind me now, but they were not a rest cure - I used to collapse in a heap afterwards!

Pinkypurplecloud · 12/02/2023 20:55

Yes it’s very very normal for a group of 8 year olds to be loud and over excited.

It’s why parties at home for my children were limited to birthday child and two friends - I sent the sibling off with DH or on a play date. If we were having a big group we went to soft play, village hall with entertainer, trampolining or bowling - the kids are still noisy and silly but at least it’s less intense when it’s not in your house.

Kid’s parties are just a few hours, once a year, for a very few years though - this year my older one wanted one friend for pizza and a film. The younger one wanted two friends at the trampoline park. My days of big parties are probably already over and they’re still at primary school!

(Until they turn 16 or so and discover alcohol and house parties anyway….)

TheSnowyOwl · 12/02/2023 20:55

Sounds very normal. Hope your DC enjoyed their party.

Wheelz46 · 12/02/2023 21:02

Definitely normal, which is why I have always encouraged mine to have parties organised outsole of the home 😆

TeenLifeMum · 12/02/2023 21:03

This is why soft play exists.

Abba123 · 12/02/2023 21:16

Is what normal?

For 8 year olds to be noisy or for you to be so affected by it?

I had a party of 5 x 9 year old girls and it was a craft party. The first chance they got and they were sword fighting with sticks, one was hit in the face, fat lip, shouting etc.

It was supposed to be civilised.

I am very curt though and once I asked them to be quiet in the way I asked them to be quiet, they were quiet.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/02/2023 21:18

Venue parties all the way

Yes more costly then cake and games at home

But waaaaaaaaaay less stressful

Testng123 · 12/02/2023 21:22

Totally normal. 2 hours of an endurance test! And you have to let them go a bit mad, it's a party, not a library.

UWhatNow · 12/02/2023 21:29

I remember telling off a load of screaming (primary age) girls at another child’s birthday at the home of a very nice quiet parent who wouldn’t have said anything, but I could she was disturbed by it.

They were just getting hyped up and screaming at the tops of their voices for no apparent reason and almost looking frenzied and out of control, like mass hysteria. I put in my best teacher voice and told them all to calm down (including my own daughter) and that having fun didn’t mean behaving like that. There were only a handful of girls but it seemed OTT. I think the mother was shocked but grateful.

Testina · 12/02/2023 21:38

6 friends with the excitement of being together AND a party?
Surely there’d be something weird at play if they weren’t noisy?!!

Thoughtful2355 · 12/02/2023 21:42

This is why you don't have a party at home if your noise sensitive 🤔

Happysalley · 12/02/2023 21:45

Oh god, this happened to me! Five 8yo girls over for a sleepover. I hired those teepee beds and and arranged them around the TV so they could all watch a movie together and eat snacks and have a chilled, pleasant evening. Well fuck me, they turned into tiny Godzillas. Rampaged through the house pulling out every toy they could find, completed all the party games in 12 seconds, broke one of the teepees and popped an air mattress. One of life's hard lessons!

mackthepony · 12/02/2023 21:47

Normal

MasterBeth · 12/02/2023 21:47

Indoor voices

Good luck with that at an 8 year old's party.

Mariposista · 12/02/2023 21:48

This is the very reason parties at home are an absolute no. 8 or more children racing about, screeching, terrorising the poor dog and destroying my home? No thank you.

HauntedPencil · 12/02/2023 21:49

I don't do them at home - I even had 5 11 yos for food a month or two ago and they went insane - book a trampoline park get out for an hour then go back for food. But I'd say that was pretty normal

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