She can’t calm down, is this normal?

[Missthepastyears]

Dd, 4 and a half, gets very hysterical and upset if hurt. For example, in summer we went camping and she was running around the campsite and fell and cut and grazed her knees. It was the first time this happened and obviously hurt, but her reaction was what I’d think was way out of proportion, she was screaming and crying for a couple of hours and we just literally couldn’t get her to calm down, she was hysterical. She eventually stopped and fell asleep. It was such a stressful situation in a campsite with people looking at us. I’m generally a calm person, but find myself getting panicky and upset, there’s just no way to control her.
Tonight we’ve just had similar for around 30 minutes. She’d been making cards and a box she’d been playing with, with glitter today and was in bed with me cuddled up, having her bedtime stories and rubbed her eyes and completely panicked. She said she had glitter in her eye, we couldn’t see much and were trying to calm her down and gently wash it out. She’s ok and asleep now. I appreciate it may have hurt/stung, but her reaction was completely hysterical, she couldn’t stop crying and constantly screaming and shouting and just nothing worked to help her calm down. It sounded horrific and I can’t even imagine what the neighbours thought. I just don’t know how to calm her down and don’t know if this is normal/typical behaviour 😔I still feel quite upset and stressed from it and Dh and I have just argued, it’s always just so difficult
Can anyone help at all?

DD7 is like an hysterical chicken if she sees her own blood / gets a splinter.

But she can have a genuinely unpleasant injury (eg massive bruise on her back) and not make a fuss because she can't see it.

She's completely NT (well, as much as any of us are), just a bit of a drama llama when it comes to thinking she's been injured. It takes her a long time to calm down.

At 7 she's much better than she was at 4 where a splinter could provide a full hour's entertainment with me trying to coax her to let me see it to pull it out, and her howling as if I were going to pull her nails off one by one.

I wouldn't worry too much.

The less attention the better. Check she's ok, give any necessary first aid (plaster/antiseptic wipe), kiss and cuddle then buoyant voice, right let's go and have some fun and take our minds off it! If she continues to snivel, just ignore it, once she sees it's getting her no attention she should pipe down. Obviously if she is badly hurt, broken bones, heavy bleeding etc it's another matter.

My DS 6 is very anxious and sensitive. He cries when there is a perceived injustice or if he hurts himself or if he thinks he is going to get in trouble. He shows a lot of symptoms of ADHD.

While he is upset I take him in my arms and hold him quite firmly then I get him to try deep breathing (smell the flowers then blow out the candles). If that doesn't work then we count slowly and quietly to 10. Usually that works and he can tell me why he is upset.

We also have to work through problem solving. So today he spilled his milk everywhere and immediately burst into tears, hyperventilating. I asked him to count to 10 which he did and explained that I wasn't ever going to be angry if there was an accident, but we need to work together to fix things. I asked him what he would clean the milk with and he managed to clean it all up himself then we had a cuddle.

I think the go to is for parents who haven't experienced this to say that kids are like this because we molly coddle them but it certainly isn't the case. My other chid picks himself up snd gets on with his dsy. We know our sensitive children and want to help them to find ways to work through their anxieties rather than say "oh stop your silly crying"

I'm interested to read how you respond to her when she gets hurt, what you say and how you react. Children can very much feed off of the emotions being displayed to them.

My DD was a bit like this at that age. She’s now 6, and much more likely to be reasonable (apart from hair brushing which makes me want to poke my own eyes out). Had a splinter once from some marram grass that was v dramatic, and memories of her falling and grazing her hands, she was off the scale and my friend (who has a boisterous boy the same age) was like WTF. She’s still prone to dramatics but much less so now. She also knows I’ll always comfort her and see her right, but that I have v little time for her blowing things out of proportion. I often ask her “does it still hurt?” And when she says that it doesn’t, she kind of realises she needs to pull herself together/calm down. I am aware that I may come across as fairly brutal here but I adore her, honest!

My AuDHD daughter (6) is like this in that she ugly-cries hysterically over small bumps and grazes. Doesn't last for 2 hours though.

I hold her tight and sing gently to her to calm her down rather than talk.