N/c for this.
I moved in with my partner a couple of years ago. He’s lived here for nearly 8yrs and is reasonably friendly with the next door neighbour who seemed ok initially. In the last 6 months I’ve felt uncomfortable about her popping round for different favours and chit chat, usually when we’re about to have a meal. On a couple of occasions he was blunt with her and told her she couldn’t come in because we were eating but she ignored him and barged in! I wasn’t happy about this and raised concerns about the neighbour’s disregard for privacy but he downplayed it (she’s harmless, she’s being friendly) so I left it.
On top of this, I learned a while back my partner and this neighbour look after each other’s keys. We went away for a break but didn’t mention it to neighbour. On return i noticed a few things out of place and the lounge smelled of cigarette smoke. Since then I started to lock the gate when I’m here alone and going out to work all day etc. The neighbour spotted me doing this and came round to ask why I locked the gate (other neighbours lock their gates so it’s v normal). I made an excuse to her but felt like telling her to leave us alone. Again my partner has downplayed this so I’ve insisted he get these keys returned and give her keys back.
And before anyone asks he hasn’t been involved with her and never likely to get involved. She is very popular in the area and knows a lot of people so I expect he’s concerned about blowback for rejecting this arrangement.
Yanbu neighbour has overstepped boundaries, get the keys back
Yabu your partner’s known her ages, you’re overreacting