To expect ex to allow my bf in the house

[yukkamumma]

I have my dd14 full time as she's chosen to cut her dad off due to him being an abusive twunt.

Ex pays half the mortgage, I think so I don't mess with him keeping his tools in our garage for work. Also so he has a degree of control over the place.

He had the kids eow before she decided to stop going. Obvs she comes first but I've forged a great new relationship in the last 6 months and haven't been happier in 17 years being stuck with abusive ex.

AIBU to expect exH to allow my bf in my house for a coffee at least? He plans to buy this house off me and doesn't want another man in it. If he can't come round I'm seriously restricted to when I can see him. Dd is often out and I'm here on my own just waiting on her coming back. I wouldn't travel to dp house when she's out in case she needs me.

God, it would be so tempting to accidently leave the garage door open for all and everyone yo see, covet and take those tools wouldn't it.

I would second seeing a solicitor, I have absolutely no idea how he thinks he can force a sale 5 yrs after you purchased the house though.....control freak.

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

I was about 10k short to make it happen with a 50/50 split, so he used that to bargain his conditions. I knew if I stayed here I'd be still controlled by him long after our divorce.

This just isn’t how it works. I gave ExH nowhere near 50% in order to keep the house - agreed through solicitors and court. He doesn’t get to control me in it now though.

Seek advice. Cut the strings.

MesRickAstley

I think you need some advice I don't think he can forbid you anything to b honest.

This sounds messy. Either sell the house and go halves or buy him out/he buys you out

If he's your ex husband then have you taken into account both of your pensions and the fact you have to house the DC and he doesn't?

You may well be awarded more than 50% of the joint equity.

Are you actually divorced yet or in the process

You definitely need some legal advice on the house
How long have you been married, whose name is it in (was it owned by just one of you before)

In the nicest way, it sounds like he has coercively convinced you things have to be 50/50. Newsflash - they don't!

Also he absolutely cannot control you or your life like this!!

In the process. He's self employed with no pension, I'm public sector and have paid in a good few years so want to protect that. It's easier to just go 50/50, it will be interesting to see if he can come up with the cash though. I could really do without uprooting the kids but needs must, we need away from him.