to ask ds to not advertise who he supportss

[GetShirty]

Ds11 is not a footballer, doesn't follow sport much but recently has started supporting his dad's footie team. It's been great bonding. But, we live in a city of a different local team and as Ds has openly started supporting his dad's team is getting stick at school for it....all the 'banter' that comes with the game and some shoving (I will make school aware).

His dad is saying he should support who he wants, not hide, and not change for anyone. I think, at school, it's better to keep it low-key, the playground is tough enough without adding this fuel....football rivalry is not like other sports. He's found it tough to settle and whilst I would usually say stand up for what you believe in and don't change I think at school it can be worth blending in on something like this. Unfortunately. AIBU or overprotective?

I can see your point but it’s not a great thing to encourage, not being true to yourself. So I wouldn’t personally.

YABU he shouldn’t hide because other kids are dicks, I can see your concern but let him decide how he handles it. Would you tell him to hide everything else about himself that’s not the popular ‘norm’?

It depends, does he enjoy a bit of footie banter and teasing? Many kids do - and adults. But if it is upsetting him, other boys might genuinely not realise, and will need to be told. Or he might choose to be discrete, if it is upsetting for him. It could of course be out and out bullying, which I am sad to say, may be a cultural thing in the school, and hiding your football team might not be enough to make it go away, it will need tackling at the root

Are they just different teams? or the local derby opponent? or bitter rivals bordering on a blood feud? To an extent that's going to depend on where you live. If you're in Scotland football and the team you support can be so much more than just a game.

Yes you abu. He should say who he supports. There will be banter, there always is if one ream wins and a friends team loses, but it doesn't usually result in violence as shown in the media.

This is a great teaching opportunity for the school.

If everyone supported the same team, football would end. If everyone bought music from the same artist, the music industry would collapse.

We need diversity in all things.

Surely this is something he can learn to navigate himself ? I think both of you should be saying for him to be aware of what others might say but to get on with it in the best way for him.

How does he feel? Is he able to deal with the banter? And get pushing? Is he able to push back? What’s dads plan to support him with this in the playground.

The sensible thing to do would be to follow the local team also, so he has awareness of its highs and lows, and also any relevance to his team (if in same league/cup competitions).

Football is a great social lubricant for many boys, icebreaker etc, provided he understands the sensitivities of local rivalries etc.

And when and where to be neutral or wear colours etc.

I guess iabu. I wouldn't usually tell him to hide things about himself at school no, but this seems to be a particular fuel to certain kids. No he doesn't enjoy the banter, I've used the wrong word there because there is shoving and it's not friendly banter and no he doesn't push back. I'm worried it will tip over into something more. I know it's the other kids who are the problem.

It's just different teams so not bitter rivals.

That is a great suggestion about following the local team, and being an icebreaker.

If everyone did that there would be no teams! everyone would just follow the same time/hide their support. How would a match take place.

You are being away ott and protective over something your son probably doesn’t even seem fazed by.

I think its good to learn that you should believe what you want but sometimes its better to adjust what you present to the world based on circumstances.

There are something you dont talk about at work, there are somethings you dont talk about at certain peoples houses etc

I would coach him on some bland replies if he is asked what team he supports (I like several teams, how about you etc) and then keep talking about it with him…let him learn and help him reflect on how he is acting in the world is affecting how people react to him.

If he’s not even that into football I wouldn’t encourage him to talk about it.

similar with DS I encouraged him not to wear a team top one of his older siblings had passed down to a holiday football club. I said someone will instantly dislike you for it and you could end up in a fight for something where you don’t even know any players of the team.

i suggested if he really wanted to wear a team top Id get him one from the small local team.

I agree with his dad. What a bland boring world if we can't express a difference of opinion.

Thats not banter, thats bullying. Deal with it appropriately. As in, its not for your son to hide anything because that doesn't solve the problem.

If its not this subject it will be something else.

A few comments, something to not like but accept. Shoving or other physical violence, completely unacceptable and the school should be aware.