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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like a failure as a mother

39 replies

LikeEmeraldeyes · 12/02/2023 08:44

I have one son being moved back a school year. He doesn't behave. He's rude. He's hard to take out in public and he hurts me daily. His behaviour is the type where you would judge me in public. I've read enough mn threads to know. Even when he is behaving in public he squalls ans squeaks and chirps and hoots.

My other son is neglected because our hands are so full and he's struggling in his reading. I just don't have time to dedicate to him.

My house is a mess. I'm in stacks of debt.

I just am exhausted and permanently grumpy.
I can't meet everyone's needs. Least of all my own.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 12/02/2023 16:44

I would be having an honest conversation with the school that if they feel they can actually meet his needs. If they - can't apply as a parent for ehcp to find a suitable setting where he can thrive

changmynameasoversharing · 12/02/2023 16:48

do you have a disability social worker

have you joined local asd groups for support

ask if locally their ate activities specifically for children with asd, this will help youre child but also allow you to make friends with parents who are dealing with the same struggles

grief is a normal in this process for the child you should have had.

your child may be entitled to a pa who child take him off your hands once a week

when you complete the form base it on your childs worst day

LikeEmeraldeyes · 12/02/2023 17:03

We've had lots of conversations with school. They've been hopeless. Once he settles into the new school we will reasses the ehcp situation.

I'm quite proactive about joining autism groups. His swim school is incredible and very inclusive and every month a meet with a group of sen parents. Ironically I also work with sen kids as my job.

I'm not sure about a disability social worker. Maybe we could look at that Ince.i will the dla form that I've been ignoring for six months?

I've just read a thread about ruining someone's lunch. We were out today. It was such hard work to keep him under control and I'm mortified that we might have ruined someone's lunch

OP posts:
MathsIsFab · 12/02/2023 17:10

Oh @LikeEmeraldeyes really don’t worry about ruining someone’s lunch, honestly every family has ruined other peoples lunch thousands of times

you feel disheartened now and it’s totally understandable .. I’ve gone through hell before getting his Adhd diagnoses so I get you

you have fantastic case for Adhd based on what you said … I would kick that off if I were you , you might have a different kid soon!

happy birthday again and drink away!

Namenic · 12/02/2023 17:13

It sounds so hard. You are doing your best for your family. Take one day at a time and try and break things into small steps so you can focus on one thing at once. I hope the new school is better and you can get access to the help you need.

Johnisafckface · 12/02/2023 17:13

tillyoumakeit · 12/02/2023 09:20

🤣🤣

Exactly my reaction

JustKeepBuilding · 12/02/2023 17:17

Have you had a home OT assessment looking at ways to make the house safer?

Don’t wait to apply for an EHCNA, apply yourself now. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

For the DLA form use the Cerebra guide to help you complete it.

Ask for social care assessments. Carer assessment for you/DH and an assessment from the disabled children’s team for DS. Contact have model letters you can use.

For DS2, contact Sibs and your local young carers services.

LikeEmeraldeyes · 12/02/2023 17:18

@JustKeepBuilding this all seems so amazing yet so overwhelming. You know when you're so frantically focusing on not drowning that you have no energies for much else?

OP posts:
JustKeepBuilding · 12/02/2023 17:24

I find it helps if you make a list then you can focus on one thing at a time. Don’t expect to be able to do everything at once.

Do you have a local charity that supports parents of disabled children? They are often extremely useful and may be able to e.g. help you complete the DLA form and request assessments.

I know you said you are in debt, so you may think this isn’t possible, but is it possible for you to request parental leave so you can focus on some of the tasks such as DLA which would, longer term, mean you had more money coming in.

JustKeepBuilding · 12/02/2023 17:26

Many schools have a family support worker who could help you with things like this, does DS’s new school?

LikeEmeraldeyes · 12/02/2023 17:38

I'm self employed. No work. No money. No sick pay etc. Tbh if I was an employee I'd probably take a couple of weeks off to pull my mental health together.

I can ask about a family support worker. He starts after the half term break.

OP posts:
Choconut · 12/02/2023 17:48

I think the big difference is that you tried to keep ds under control. In the thread you're talking with the ruined lunch they didn't do anything. It also was a very expensive restaurant so probably not where you would go if you were struggling with debt - although obviously I could be wrong if your family paid for example.

You need more support though, it sounds very tough and like you are quite over whelmed. Can you and your OH split your time at weekends so each son has some one to one time with each of you? Can your son read to both you and your other son while you all snuggle in bed in the morning perhaps? Is your son with ASD constantly overwhelmed as well? Would ear defenders help if he doesn't have them already when you're out? An OT might have lots of ideas of things you could put in place to help him. Routine is critical - same routine every day after school is ideal, if he has an activity then I'd start the routine as soon as he gets home. I'd also keep activities to a minimum, ds is much worse behaved if he is tired - also snacks between school and activity, hunger often also leads to coping less well. Routine as much as possible at the weekend too, calming and quiet with not too much going on may be best although a good walk and time at the park might be important too if he has both ASD and ADHD. A plan for each day at the weekend might help him, so he knows what is happening and what is coming up next. The other thing that he is really important is his own room, having his own safe space is vital IMO (he might already of course). Maybe you know all this already though, apologies if I'm just saying things you already know.

For you OP I tihnk you need to tackle one thing at a time, I know how easy it is to feel over whelmed when you are ND. So maybe make a list of things you need to sort out/people to contact or whatever and think, this weekend I'm going to tackle the first one and concentrate on getting that one thing started/sorted and not worry about any of the other stuff. Then each weekend give yourself one more thing to look at either with DH or take turns whatever works best. Do you have anyone who is willing/able to have the kids every so often so you can just have a break/night off? I really think you need something like that if you don't already (but may not be possible I know).

One thing - you say that you don't like ASD as you don't see autism as a disorder but use ADHD where the D also stands for disorder. They're both neurodiversities, both medically considered disorders and the number of people with autism doesn't affect whether it is a disorder or not, disorder really just means different from normal. There are around 700,000 autistic children and adults in the UK in a population of 67 million so people with autism are still very, very much a minority.

Good luck OP, I hope you and and your dc get more support and the school are really good as the last one sounds rubbish (a lot of teachers don't have a clue about ND's though unfortunately and are completely over whelmed themselves). Also I wouldn't rule out a residential SEN school for DS in the future, he is already hurting you and this will only get more difficult to handle as he gets older. It could be a really positive thing for both of you as they will be able to provide a very structured routine for him that just may not be possible at home. It also gives you a break and would allow you to concentrate on your other ds. I would also look at young carers for your other DS I don't know much about them but it could be a good positive thing for him as it sounds like he misses out due to his brothers behaviour.

signandsingcarols · 12/02/2023 18:19

OP hop over to the MN SN thread(s), there are loads of us there who have been where you are... I'm not active there anymore as the situation with my autistic lad has improved as he has got older (now 16 and at college) but when he was the same age as your ds those boards were a life saver, so many amazing women and so much wisdom .

LikeEmeraldeyes · 12/02/2023 19:13

I never really thought about the whole adhd acronym. I know a lot less about adhd than autism.

I've been trawling through the other thread and beating myself up about it. So much so that my husband says I really ought to permanently come off mn

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