To find parent/ in law dynamic exhausting

[Castiron12]

Just that really!
Anyone else find themselves drained following the rare (ish) occasion of a get together? Particular if parents/ in laws are quite different.

I come from a working class background, proud of it but I feel perhaps I’m less judgemental of those who have grown up in more fortunate circumstances (such as DH) than my own parents are it seems.

In laws are much more middle class but still lovely and are only ever just being themselves - feel that in family gatherings etc instantly gets my parents (particular fathers) back up as though he has a real chip on his shoulder.

Hard to put my finger on but passive aggressive comments, judgment such as venue chosen for my FIL 70th
“Christ I bet this cost a bomb it’s all very bay window isn’t it”
..sometimes just want to shake them! it’s as if being around in-laws brings out some sort of competition that no one is partaking in but himself

AIBU to feel a bit drained by the reverse snobbery!

I actually prefer my PIL too. They're really kind people and find a way to get on with everyone.

My parents and in laws are both working class but whereas my parents come from a more expensive part of the country (where DP and I live too) value education and self improvement, my in laws are anti education and ignorant, so they have a massive chip on their shoulder and are increasingly rude and unpleasant to my parents and I.

They spent Christmas 2021 with us and stayed with my parents and that was okay but then I fell out with them after they broke the rules and gave me covid when I was 34 weeks pregnant and didn’t engage with them until after the baby was born. We are now on speaking terms as I needed to be civil with them for the sake of my DP who is a very good man and quite independent from his parents, and my parents have made an effort to be welcoming with them, again for my DP’s sake as they get on well, but the in laws have been rude and dismissive, which doesn’t make sense as they were in the wrong in the first place!

I am dreading them meeting again at DD’s first birthday party in a few months time!

Just being invited probably grates with DF if it flags up that your DPs Don't arrange these group functions/get togethers. Can't your parents be busy with the other grandchildren or something and refuse the invites.

Fortunately it doesn’t happen very often but my parents and PIL end up in competitive “who has had the worst experience” discussions. MIL won by bringing in a relative who ran a pub who had an armed robbery. They then settle on the less contentious “priests we have known”. They generally don’t mix well!

The only topic that brings mil to life is other peoples holidays going very wrong. Particularly enjoyable when she considers it’s their own fault.

Always good to talk about Palestine to calm a tense meeting

I m howling at this thread..... Awww people are hilair-bombs.

My ex manager was all false poor mouth, reverse snob....... Then she would head off on her 6 holidays a year, ramble on about her house renovations and her endless support from her WFH partner and extended family. Whilst simultaneously being bitter at me, separated parent with zero family support.

The comments were jaw dropping. She was eaten up with jealousy. All her own insecurity and spoiltness.

Tell whoever is the twat to put a sock in it!!!
Anyway, I must go down to my kitchen with its big Bay Window 😆

By the way ex manager was earning the same as me,..... And that pissed her off..... We had the equivalent qualification, why wouldn't we earn the same amount??

Some people just can't cope unless they (secretly) feel they have more than someone else. All one-upmanship or else disdainful, cutting remarks.