Discrimination from boss?

[Showmethefood]

I’d love your views on this please. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and have been working in care work. I’m an older female but have recently (well since lockdown) felt like my mental health is getting slowly worse.

Anyway after a long period of time - I’ve been to the doctors, had an ADHD assessment and started meds etc (still currently trying to find out which dosage of meds is the best) But still all that bit is out of the way.

Now to get to the point. I decided I wanted to be honest with my employer with what was going on. She’d noticed that sometimes I struggled in certain areas and I wanted to tell her why I did and not for her to think I was just lazy and stupid. But, it didn’t quite go how I expected - for instance she’s told me :

1. That she’s spoken to her husband about me as he works in substances - and that I should be wary about taking ADHD meds as it will be like I’m on speed.
2. She asked me if I could continue masking at work as it worked before. I told her no as it was giving me a bad headache on a night. She turned round and said “Yes but now you’re not it’s affecting your work in the day.”
3. When she asked if I needed any support etc: I said I’d like it if she told me when I did things well as it would encourage me. She said she wouldn’t as it would make my anxiety worse.
4. She’s started making comments infront of me and other staff members about how she hates it when adults go for mental health diagnosis.
5. She told me “oh everyone’s got ADHD now, it’s like a fashion label.”
6. When I report anything about a residents negative behaviour she tells me: “Well they don’t behave like that infront of me. Your anxiety just be making them worse. Since your diagnosis you look for problems in everyone.
7. That me struggling right now isn’t fair on the team as they’re picking up all the extra work.

I want to make it clear that I do not use ADHD as an excuse. I could have gone on the sick but I have stayed at work and been honest with my employer. I work really hard and just needed extra support at this moment in time. I do not take the mick I promise!

I wanted to know - is my boss right in talking to me like this? Or is she discriminating against my ADHD?

Boss is out of order. Put in a grievance as you may fall under the Equalities Act through disability and will have protection. Don't just put up with it.

Thank you ♥️

Agree with @Bryonny84 100%

Thank you so much. I honestly have been thinking it must be my fault. My self esteem has sunk through the floor and I felt like I’m letting everybody down. Thank you. ♥️

Your boss broke staff confidentiality by telling her husband. That’s very poor and in itself would be justification for a grievance. Keep a log of incidents that you feel are wrong and submit it all. Sorry this is happening to you.

What type of company do your work for? I'm flabbergasted that above with half a brain would say the things she said to you...it's outrageous.

This would be a disciplinary matter in my place of work.

If those examples are true, and I see no reason why your post would include any that weren't, then yes this is discrimination and no she would not talk about a non disabled staff member in the same way.

Your boss absolutely should not have disclosed your medical diagnosis. You have every right to take this further. You need to spend time writing up everything that was said and when so you have a good record of all these events

Thank you all. You’ve honestly made me feel so supported and validated. I’m going to listen to you all and write down everything that happens from now on. I wish there’d have been cameras in the room when she said all this to me, so that I had evidence.