Is it normal to miss 'dating'?

[legoge]

4 years in to relationship with children involved.

I love DP so much - honestly, I've never felt the amount I'm in love with him waiver throughout these years and I'm still as in love with him as the start.

BUT.. I keep being slightly 'jealous' of people who are just dating people? I don't even know if that makes sense. I feel like I'm just craving that newness, those options, those 'talking stages' in the early parts of dating and to have other people 'hit on' you... I don't know.

I'm young, for context (20s) and I don't know if that plays a part.
And for reference, I am not considering leaving my happy relationship to chase this desire, I just want to know that I'm not an awful, self-destructive person for thinking about it at the minute and I'm not abnormal!

Sameeees

It’s really interesting @legoge how you phrased your opener .

4 years in to relationship with children involved

Are they your DCs?

not saying there’s anything amiss if not, if you’re co-parenting or becoming a stepparent etc

but it’s the way you said “involved” as if it had happened to you somehow

I can imagine it must be a bit startling if it happened all too soon for you, but just asking really due to the phrasing

@SavoirFlair blended family with children each from previous relationships and a DC of our own. I felt weird phrasing it that way but because of the complexity it felt suitable!

Sounds like it's the freedom you're envying?

You're in a different life phase now. It's ok to look back nostalgically, but beware the rose-tinted glasses.

'Dating' often involves a lit of boring experiences with people you are incompatible with - it's not all champagne on rooftop bars with handsome strangers!!

Do you and your partner get to go on dates together anymore? You sound very busy with the kids.

*lot of

I get it OP. For me, it’s also weird to realise that phase of my life is behind me, and it’s also missing being that person and the wide-open unknown-ness and multiple possibilities for the future.

@Sapphire387 you're probably right with it being the freedom. It's probably something that's impacted me. We definitely don't have as much quality time as we should.

@Minteraye yeah. For me, I think it's the sheer panic that I may not have that again for the rest of my life if we stay together (which is feasible as our relationship is happy and we're both very much in love) which is like 60+ years. I don't know sometimes I feel like I'm so conflicted in my thoughts and feelings through life

I think it depends on your personality. I can't think of anything worse although I do know we aren't right for each other. Extreme opposites intact. It Mayes you wonder how different life could be.

Excitement of new relationships, meeting new people and different experiences. Some good some bad.

Instead you have a steady relationship that you know what to expect, no excitment of being with a stranger.

Really? The dating scene is horrendous these days, all apps, ghosting, swiping. I have been single 6 years because don’t want to deal with how awful dating is these days you’re not missing anything!

Can't you try to re create that dating feeling? Have a date,night, both get dressed up? I like it when a relationship is in the comfortable stage,but I.do understand where you are coming from.

This. It can be soul destroying.