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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I work from home, but I sometimes ...

42 replies

NewWFH · 11/02/2023 16:02

I've worked in sw dev for 20 years. A few months ago I had to look for a new job after previous company closed their UK office. Luckily I was able to find something else very easily, with better salary too. However, I am surprised to find most people work from home (it's 1 day in the office for planning/review every two weeks). My interviews were the days people were on-site.

Of course I can go to the office whenever I want, but it's totally "dead". My team have a quick sync meeting each morning for 15 mins, and then I'm off on my own for the day.

Working from home I find:

Totally blended (messed up?) work/private life balance
I miss my old short commute exercise (a short train journey, and a 2 mile walk)
Doing things I wouldn't do if I were in office, like snacking too much

I really like the new company, the project/tech I'm working on, but I'm not really sure this setup suits me longer term.

Any others struggling with WFH? Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:

MyComputerLove · 11/02/2023 16:05

Go genuinely self-employed if you can.

WFH is gradually morphing into victorian era work-houses in a modern digital setting.

Janek · 11/02/2023 16:06

Start your day with a walk? Maybe even get ready for work, including making your lunch, go for your walk then start the day when you get home (ie arrive at work). And don't keep snack foods in the house!!!

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 11/02/2023 16:07

Honestly I love it, and I really wouldn’t go back (I’m self-employed, wfh full-time after many years spent in an office). But you do need to be much more disciplined with yourself.

You’ve not been doing it for long. I would just try and make more of a concerted effort to stick to a routine. Exercise timings and snacking and so on are within your control!

Singleandproud · 11/02/2023 16:07

Just go into the Office even if there aren't many others, more might come in during the school holidays for some peace and quiet or if the know someone else is about. I work a hybrid job and do two days in the office, one on site and two at home, I like the flexibility but would find WFH all the time isolating.

RealBecca · 11/02/2023 16:07

My advice is to build a new routine to look forward to.

Run at lunchtime, plan your coffee breaks, use screen breaks for small tasks. Work away from the kitchen. I like to take a screen break at 1130 to put on a jacket potato. It's the small things!

Find a work friend to message. Spread out your meetingsnif you can. Pack away at the end of the day and leave the room.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 11/02/2023 16:10

Agree go for a walk at the start of the day. For me that's the school run. If you don't do that, get a bit of fresh air and movement some other way.

Bubblebubblebah · 11/02/2023 16:12

Totally blended (messed up?) work/private life balance
I miss my old short commute exercise (a short train journey, and a 2 mile walk)
Doing things I wouldn't do if I were in office, like snacking too much

May just be schock at the beginning but you canas pps said make a routine.

Depending on your workplace at home, just close the door behing you after clocking out, or make sure to put laptop away where you don't see it.
Go for walk in a morning before start.
Keep away from the fridge (again, great if you work in another room).

It took few weeks for me to get used to it and create routines, but I love it!

AdInfinitum12 · 11/02/2023 16:13

I'd be looking to build a new routine. I work from home full time and rather than leaving the house to go to an office I make sure I walk the dog just before and just after work. It feels like a commute. I don't go into my office room outside of work hours, to keep that separation. In terms of snacking, it's all about willpower unfortunately. Maybe continue to make a packed lunch in a lunch box so it feels as it would if you were in an office.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/02/2023 16:13

I’ve gone the other way from most people. I WFH for 20+ years but last year I moved out to a shared working space in the small city I live in. 10 minutes walk / 5 minutes cycle to work, friendly people in my space, a great work / life split. I love it. Doesn’t have to be full time. Most places offer 1/2/3 days a week.

Lcb123 · 11/02/2023 16:14

Have a routine - do a pretend commute, walk or cycle before you start work and after. Try and work somewhere dedicated or that’s not possible, put everything work related away when you finish. Don’t make up extra work hours just because of no commute time. Plan your lunches healthy snacks, and don’t have unhealthy snacks in the house.

notsoneatsolution · 11/02/2023 16:15

If you have a dedicated space or room then I find that works well for me. When I'm there I'm at work, when I leave I'm no longer at work. I've spent some time/effort to get a good working environment, chair, table, lighting, 2nd monitor, headset and good webcam for calls.

I only started WFH during the pandemic, and it did take some time to adjust. At the start I was fairly unstructured, a lot of the day in pajamas, drinking too much tea, some mumsnet browsing, and doing lots of other stuff I'd never do in the office :)

It's good that you recognize there is a problem. A previous poster has said, trying to structure your day could help?

AutumnSquill · 11/02/2023 16:15

I'm in a similar situation - working from home part time, and I think it's great. I do try to start the day with a short walk, I cook lunch and have a proper lunch break, and a tea break in the afternoon.
You need to set up a routine. If that means more regular trips to the office you might find other colleagues start to do the same if they're missing the company too.

redskydelight · 11/02/2023 16:16

I go into my "dead" office for all the reasons you mentioned.

Over time, I've found that other colleagues have come in at least some of the time, so the office is more populous.

Do you have an actual office at home? I didn't and I find that was a major issue.

Wakeywake · 11/02/2023 16:16

I felt like that when we first started working entirely from home, but got used to it gradually.

Now my work is trying to bring people in more often (2 days /week) and I can feel the disadvantages already. Our daily stand ups and other meetings have always been online as my team is located in different offices. So online meetings in a noisy environment, lack of parking, I hate how hot it is at work, I can't throw a load of washing in the machine at lunchtime, I can't start cooking dinner till 6:30 or so. It's all petty, really, but I find more disadvantages than advantages in going in.

midgemadgemodge · 11/02/2023 16:17

Start the day and end the day with a commute - go out for the 2 mile walk

PieRSquared · 11/02/2023 16:24

I'm mostly WFH too these days. I like the flexibility, but it does indeed still feel unstructured at times, and I can get into a rut. Some things I find helpful are

Always go for a walk at some point in the day, regardless of the weather
I never meet friends for lunch on work days. It's too much of a distraction
Never do any personal stuff on a work laptop, that includes mn, shopping, or anything else (one of my team were pulled by our IT dept for having Netflix, my DSis was stupid enough to watch porn on her work laptop)
I go to the office one day per week, I always go the same day, same time, etc. so people know I'm available in person that day

Christmascracker0 · 11/02/2023 16:27

I also struggle with wfh and a dead office! I go in a few days a week anyway, even if there’s not many there it still gets me out of the house and I might at least talk to one person.

Going for a walk around the block in the morning and evening is a good idea. As is actually having to make something for lunch so you step away from your desk for a bit at lunchtime! I live on my own and meal boxes (Hello Fresh / Gousto) have been great. It’s something to look forward to in the evening and I actually have to stop working at a reasonable time so that I can cook!

Hopefully you will find you get used to it after a few months ☺️ but I think the reality is some people do better in an office setting and that’s not really something that can be changed.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/02/2023 16:28

Are there any co-working spaces near you?

Inthe60s · 11/02/2023 16:28

Based on the original post, it seems like you might benefit from going to the office a few more days even if it feels dead. Then you'd have some exercise and more structure.

As another poster said, don't have snacks or other temptations in the house. If they are there, you might give in :) I'm speaking from experience!

Christmascracker0 · 11/02/2023 16:29

Oh and also - I know one of the “perks” of working from home is being able to do odd jobs in the house during the day but I actually find it better not to. It’s too distracting and one job only leads to another, so I save it for the evenings/weekends as was my pre lockdown routine.

RNBrie · 11/02/2023 16:32

Try and be really rigid with your start and end times and block out time for a reasonable lunch. Then use your previous commute time to do some exercise, I've signed up for a pilates class that runs near my house. Or I go for a walk or something that gets me out of the house.

I also try and schedule in something local to home once a week, coffee or lunch with a friend or a massage or something. It makes me feel like I'm doing something I'd never be able to do if I was in the office.

Sometimes I work out of a local coffee shop that's quiet in the mornings. I've got to know the staff quite well and I get a bit of social interaction and a change of scenery. I do spend more on coffee than I would otherwise!

Tinkerbyebye · 11/02/2023 16:34

Go and work in the office everyday then

category12 · 11/02/2023 16:41

Go into the office more often. There will be other regulars who come in, not from your team perhaps, because they find it difficult WFH for one reason or another. Find them and find out which days they come in.

Broach it with your line manager as well, it may be that they're open to having more in-person attendance but don't know if there's a desire or need for it.

Bellalalala · 11/02/2023 16:41

I would suggest you simply need a new routine and some rules.

Ensure you log off like you would if you were commuting home. Set some rules like no weekend working and stick to it.

Get up on a morning and go for a walk where you live. Both before and after work.

I snacked more in the office. But set rules around that too. Allocate snack for the day. Or no snacks.

When you started your working life, you created rules like ‘get up at x time’ or ‘leave by x time’. Do the same again.

Failing that, you can always go to the office everyday. If working in an office fixes those 3 things and they are 3 things are that are very important to you, which I understand why they would be. It doesn’t matter how many people are at the office when you get there. It will have still improved the things on your list.

GoodChat · 11/02/2023 16:43

Have a dedicated work space, decide what you're having for lunch before you start work for the day and stay out of the kitchen

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