Do I need a EHCP for my son?

[swingsandroundaboutsss]

Trying to cut a long story short..
My son is diagnosed with autism and is struggling at school. There are some things in place to help him but I'm beginning to wonder how much help they actually are.
He struggles with his emotional regulation and can get stressed quite easily. He's very impulsive. He's also very clever, in the top 10% of the class in maths and reading.
We've recently been doing some occupational therapy sessions outside of school and whilst speaking to the therapist she suggested an EHCP. We were discussing my son getting frustrated in class and one of the reasons being he always has his hand up and the teacher not being able to answer his questions. When I spoke to the teacher she said he always has his hand up and can't answer his questions otherwise she'd be stopping the class every 5 seconds. The therapist suggested the EHCP could provide 1 to 1 support and that person could answer these questions. He gets frustrated in maths because he has to listen to all of the things he already knows and the teacher needs him to be present for the last 10% of input for the more challenging activity.
I suggested the EHCP and she said she'd get back to me.
She asked me to come in for a chat after school about an overnight trip they're going on and she'd talk about the EHCP and feedback from O.T.
When I went in to the classroom my son asked her to remember about the form, she sternly replied to him "it's my turn to talk, not yours, I'm talking to parents, go and sit in the reading corner". We spoke about the trip and she tried to finish it there and said she had a meeting. I mentioned the EHCP and she said "in a nut shell, it's only provided when the school isn't meeting the child's needs and we have things such as brain breaks in place for when it gets too much for him. There are other children out in the SEN hub who have more serious, severe, visible needs that get an EHCP. He doesn't get one because he gets frustrated because I can't answer his questions. If you want to speak more then email the head of senco". She then got up, said she had a meeting so had to go. I felt frustrated, never mind my child. When I've spoke to other parents or teachers they've just said she's strict. When my son is doing everything he's supposed to she's the happiest person ever but when he's had a challenging day, she can't cope. He's basically told me he feels as though she picks on him, singles him out and entices him to get upset. That's a lot coming from a 7 year old. I understand schools are under pressure and I'm thinking of this as a way to get him extra support and take some of the pressure off them. I've spoken to the deputy head about his issues with the teacher and she said "She really likes you, in fact, she chose you to be in her class this year because she had you last year and knows you quite well already".
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't gutted he had her again. I remember one incident where he ran across the playground to me at home time and she chased him and grabbed his arm and told him off for going without telling a teacher. I said I understood but could she take her hand off him as she had no right to grab him. She apologised and then back tracked and said she never grabbed him 🤦‍♀️.
Do I request a change of class, wait until next year and hope things improve, go down the EHCP route on my own or just stick it out?

Most SEN should be provided for by schools, ideally through quality first provision (resources and strategies that are open and available to every child, woven into the fabric of the school day), or by targeted support.

If a child needs support, provision or resources that go beyond that which could reasonably be expected to be provided by the school, then they need an EHCP.

An EHCP follows on from a needs assessment. The needs assessment explores the needs of the child, then the LA decides whether the needs can be met within the normal resources of the school. If they can't, an EHCP is drawn up, setting out what the needs are, what provision is necessary to meet the needs, and how that provision must be delivered.

Sometimes the plan will specify support from an adult. Sometimes it is special equipment, or therapies. Sometimes it is a specialist school. DD2's Plan specifies SALT and OT. The rest of the provision is met by her special school because the things in it are standard for that school. She has a TA that accompanies her class for all lessons. There are only 3 children in her class. In a mainstream school, she might need 1:1 support but she doesn't need that in her school because the structure is deliberately highly supportive.

As a result of an appeal to the upper tier EHCPs can continue until 26 in some circumstances.

@JustKeepBuilding yes I know. The parent who did it, used to be an advocate I used at one stage with a tricky appeal we had for my son. We won.

Just to add, she is an amazing woman but it just shows how important it is that parents stand their ground and fight for their kids. It helps others too.

Op’s child has a diagnosis of autism and has additional needs. Behaving in ways that neurotypical children and teachers require may be very difficult for him.

Op, your boy sounds similar to mine, he’s 18 now. I regret not applying for an ehcp sooner than we did. You will need to see the ehcp application process as a battle with your local authority…we ended up in a tribunal, which we won. I also think that his teacher sounds very ignorant of the impact that his autism diagnosis has on him…and so is being very unkind to him. If there’s scope to move to another class with a better informed teacher, that might be worth doing. It sounds like she has decided that he needs firm discipline to get him to conform, whereas the truth is that he can’t (not won’t) conform because he is ND.

I do hope you advised all these families to appeal against the decisions? It seems that LAs turn down applications automatically but the vast majority of their refusal to assess or refusal to provide are overturned.