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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pregnancy making me want to strangle my DH

19 replies

elm26 · 10/02/2023 18:58

Hit 25 weeks and all of a sudden I cannot stand DH and I actually feel bad about it, he works hard, looks after me, is loving and caring, calm but I just want to attack him (lighthearted, kind of).

I fancied steak for dinner tonight, DH said to text him a list as he was passing the shop.

Came home with nothing. Said there wasn't any steak. Okay but did you get everything else? The rice pudding I've been craving? No. The Coke Zero I really want a glass of with lots of ice? No.

Told me to order a Chinese then asked me not to spend more than £15. Impossible here for 2 people so I put my phone down and told him not to bother, I'll have a slice of toast (I don't want toast).

Now he's in a bubble bath watching something on his phone and I can hear him laughing and I would like to drown him.

What is wrong with me? 😭 by the way I do love him dearly and don't actually want to hurt him. I just can't bare him at the minute.

OP posts:

Choccyoclocky · 10/02/2023 19:10

Totally normal! I did the same when DH didn't know how to make pancakes when I was pregnant with our first. I didn't know how to make them either. He has never been able to cook but I was devastated that he couldn't do it. He really did try his hardest but I just cried and cried because I was desperate for pancakes.

Luckily I can make them myself now!

Onepercent · 10/02/2023 19:14

I’m not pregnant and your husband sounds annoying to me so I really don’t think the issue is you. Why didn’t he get the other stuff?! Why is he giving an impossible limit for the takeaway?

BatshitBanshee · 10/02/2023 19:20

Weeks 24-28 are always, always fucking ropey for me, I'm almost 30 weeks now and much better. It's hormones, rage, discomfort, and for me the constant need to say ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! about any little thing. The Coke zero would annoy me though, small thing but honestly icy coke zero does wonders for me. Order a takeaway and just breathe deep.

And resist the urge to drown him. Unless you fancy a new patio.

Botw1 · 10/02/2023 19:22

I don't think that has anything to do with pregnancy and more to do with your oh being a tit

Why do you need his permission to buy what you want from the Chinese?

Why can't you go buy your own steak and coke zero?

Badger1970 · 10/02/2023 19:24

If DH gave me a spending limit for anything let alone a bloody chinese, he would actually have been strangled.

Nothing funny or attractive about someone tight with money.

GenderCriticalTrumpets · 10/02/2023 19:24

Totally normal! I couldn't stand DH in my personal space when I was pregnant.

By best friend went one step further and googled Divorce solicitors while crying she was going to be a single parent as she hated her H SO MUCH 😂

Anothernamename · 10/02/2023 19:36

I’m sorry but this did make me laugh. I am in full solidarity with you. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and I wake up feeling absolutely furious with my partner for no reason at all. I struggle to be polite and it’s nothing he’s done really. I do mask it as best I can but I am driving to work most morning having arguments with him in my head just to release the rage. These hormones are no joke 😂

Tinkerbyebye · 10/02/2023 19:41

Iwould have ordered the takeaway I wanted to his silly limit, but for one

then when questioned would say oh I assumed it was just for me as you forgot everything else. Toast is that way

Newestname002 · 10/02/2023 19:49

Tinkerbyebye · 10/02/2023 19:41

Iwould have ordered the takeaway I wanted to his silly limit, but for one

then when questioned would say oh I assumed it was just for me as you forgot everything else. Toast is that way

Yep!!!

BTW if you want help building that patio lots of us can help with that... 🌹

mybunniesandme · 10/02/2023 19:57

Just wait until the baby arrives then you'll really hate him 😂

Somethingsnappy · 10/02/2023 20:01

mybunniesandme · 10/02/2023 19:57

Just wait until the baby arrives then you'll really hate him 😂

Never a truer word! But don't worry op, it is normal. Those hormones have a lot to answer for. But yes, your DH was a being a bit of a twat, particularly about the £15 spending limit. I would have done what a pp suggested, and just ordered for myself...

PlainJanePerfect · 10/02/2023 20:06

I'd be mad. Our biggest fights centre around response to requests.

If I tell/ ask you to do something...

Acceptable responses:
Do it
Ask a question so you can do it
Say no but why

Unacceptable responses:
Not doing it
Not saying anything

Gives me the rage.

Dinosaurpoopy · 10/02/2023 20:07

I've never hated DH as much as when I wanted a creme egg and he went down the shop and forgot to get one (although he did get the rest of the shopping)

It was also December so they weren't the easiest to come by..

FictionalCharacter · 10/02/2023 20:09

Why do pregnancy and hormones get blamed when someone is pissed off with their DH doing something that would piss off the DH if it was done to them? He didn’t buy the food, then was unreasonably stingy about a takeaway. I’m definitely not pregnant or “peri” (the other one that gets blamed for women not being sweetly tolerant of inconsiderate behaviour) and I’d have been unimpressed. And I would have ordered what I wanted from the Chinese takeaway menu, stuff the fifteen quid Scrooge limit.

Original poster

elm26 · 10/02/2023 20:13

Some of these replies made me laugh and I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

I could have got my own steak and coke but DH told me to rest today (still very sick and had a day off work) and he would go to shop on his way home from work.

He's not usually tight with money at all but the I think he's having a bit of a panic about the cost of living crisis and our first baby on the way.

I did order the Chinese, he said "spend what you want" after I called him a twat in the kitchen because he made me laugh when he got out the bath.

OP posts:

tiredmumma8696 · 10/02/2023 20:15

mybunniesandme · 10/02/2023 19:57

Just wait until the baby arrives then you'll really hate him 😂

This 😂😂

MissMaple82 · 10/02/2023 20:26

Normal. It will pass when baby born. I remember I suddenly couldn't stand the sound of him breathing.. literally used to boil my blood

Ireallywantsomechips · 10/02/2023 20:41

I’ve disliked my DH for most of my pregnancy. Tbh I’ve been pretty intolerant of absolutely everyone this time around, except my DD. I have absolutely no patience and poor DH has the brunt of it.

Being pregnant completely changes my personality and I hate it. Im so grateful he understands and I try so hard to recognise when I’m being unreasonable.

But when it comes to food OP, nothing is forgivable 😂

LuluBlakey1 · 10/02/2023 20:48

When I was pregnant with DS1 I had two phases of hating DH. The second one was in the last 3 weeks of the pregnancy and I was awful. He had done nothing to upset me - the opposite really, he was being really supportive and caring- but I was so angry all the time with him. DS was due in early January- I told DH to go to his parents' house in Bradford fir Christmas because I wanted to spend it by myself. I was planning how to not have him in the room when DS was born I was so irritated by him even breathing ir speaking. I was horrible.
It stopped as quickly as it started- I woke up on Christmas Eve and it had gone. Fortunately, he had taken no notice of me at all but I still feel really bad about it now.

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