Throwaway, because I don’t really want this tied to my main account which is probably quite identifiable.
I’m 32 and married and we have an amazing 5yo DS. DS is absolutely wonderful and the absolute light of my life - he’s amazing.
Before I got pregnant, we did agree one and done (something I now majorly regret, but I did agree). My husband still stands by this, but I’m absolutely overwhelmed with the desire to have another child.
Part of this desire is probably me being so sad (but obviously happy too!) that my DS is growing up and isn’t a baby any more. I loved every part of him being small and I miss it even though he’s thriving and a happy child.
There’s another background reason I think is playing a part too - my Dad recently died which highlights that I’m an only child and have no one to share the “load” with. I had to do the funeral (my mum wasn’t able to) and all of the admin by myself as I’m an only child and now I’m the only child there is so need to always be there for my Mum as she grows old (this isn’t complaining, I’m happy too and it’s mainly the mental load of not having anyone else there that weighs on me). I see the contrast with my DH and how they shared things between them and had each other’s shoulders when his Dad died, and love his family gatherings (none of which I have an option on on my side). Basically, my side of the family is tiny which makes me feel sad when I see my DH side have family events.
My DH thinks I’m being unreasonable at being sad that we’re not having another child, whereas I think it’s perfectly normal to be sad even though I’ve accepted the position and I’m not pushing him for us to have more children.
Please don’t be cruel, as I say I’ve accepted being “one and done” and I’m not considering leaving him for this, I just feel like I need to know if I‘ve got normal feelings or maybe need to make more of an effort to rein everything in.
YABU: Stop being sad because you agreed about this.
YANBU: It’s ok to be upset about this occasionally