To ask family not to post my child on his birthday

[Whatisgoingona]

I have no problem with them posting him any other time and even if they want to make a birth week post but I do not want my child’s birth date to be available online.

I’m just conscious of cyber security I’ve noticed a lot of typically banking security questions can easily be found online for children (first pet, place of birth, mothers maiden name, childhood best friend etc)

AIBU or paranoid?

You are paranoid, to me - but he's your child and it's your decision, so your family should respect it. Even if they think it's a bit bonkers.

No it's not paranoid at all, I think it's completely reasonable and sensible and I don't have my birthdate online or share my children's or grandchildren's or anyone's really.

It's your decision but it seems a bit nuts, especially if you still put photos and stuff up online any other time.

I understand people thinking it’s a bit crazy I do agree I’m just conscious that what’s online is available forever and he’s growing up in a completely different world to myself

If you are using his birthday for passcodes then it makes sense. It would be sensible not to have any significant date as a passcode if you are paranoid about security.

I don’t believe anyone should put their kids on social media at any time as the children can’t meaningfully give consent to having their personal privacy denied.

You can't stop other people using it for passcodes though. Favourite auntie could have your child's birthdate as a passcode without you knowing!

Children don't give meaningful consent to anything in their lives so not sure why social media would be different. The parent's job is to make an informed decision on their behalf.

In this case the OP has made an informed decision to not make their child's DOB publicly available. I don't think thats bonkers.

I voted YABU but because I don't think you should put children on line at all, and not just at their birthdays.

Will he fit in the letterbox?

I don’t have an issue with normal photos like a family day out to a farm I think posting photos is harmless as long as they won’t embarrass your child in the future and just a way to store memories and share with friends and family

my concern with his dob and any other personal information is that in the wrong hands it could easily make his life very difficult eg. Having his identity stolen or being hacked in to by scammers

I think it's unlikely he's going to go his whole life not revealing his birthday on SM - it'll probably be on there when he gets his own accounts and people will post about his birthday then.

The first pet, first address, mothers maiden name one's will be harder to crack.

YABU

Not paranoid at all OP, I used to work in cyber security. This BBC article reflects the work Barclays did on ‘sharenting’.
'Sharenting' puts young at risk of online fraud www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-44153754

Interesting perspective, OP. I’ve never thought about it this way.

I don’t put my children on sm though.

Anyone can find out anyone else’s date of birth, as Birth Certificates are public records. Don’t use a Date of Birth a password for anything, and never use your mothers real maiden name

YANBU. I don't understand why people need to post a about a child's birthday on social media in their own page or on the parents page. They can wish him happy birthday in person or send a card if they know him well enough for it to matter surely?

@Sunbird24 Thank you! This is exactly what I was thinking!! Im glad I’m not crazy to think it’s a risk I will be sending everyone I ask that link