Odd one out

[peannut]

Does anyone feel like the odd one out? My brother and sister are so close and I think they genuinely dislike me. I'm the oldest. They make comments all the time when we're together like if I ask something my sister will say 'oh you had to be there' or they'll just take sneaky glances at each other across the room if I say or do something. It's p*ing me off. I feel like I should be looked up to and respected by my siblings. I've tried getting close to each of them in the past but my sisters like a brick wall to build a bond with. Seems to be just me though - - and it makes me feel like maybe I'm the problem?

It’s hard to judge someone else’s family dynamic from a paragraph so please don’t take this as a snark but your comment of ‘I should be looking up to and respected by my siblings’, perhaps that attitude makes you seem a bit unapproachable

I would tell them how you feel, be really honest and say you feel left out and unliked, ask what you can do to help build that relationship with them, if there are things you do that make them not want to include you. You might not like the answers but be open to the change

I feel like I should be looked up to and respected by my siblings

This is the weird bit of your post for me. What you've said here is completely different to feeling a bit left out by two siblings who have a closer bond. On what grounds do you feel they should 'look up to' and respect you? Liking is an entirely separate issue. My sisters are far closer to one another than I am to either -- I wish it were otherwise, but circumstances have meant they have had far more contact with one another for the last 20 years than I have, and both of them being child-free, while I have a young child, means they have more free time to travel together.

I feel like I should be looked up to and respected by my siblings
**
This is your problem
People need to earn respect.
I'm the eldest sister and don't expect that.
As adults my ideal would be an equal relationship.
Not saying you are , but if on some level you are looking down in them, they'll be picking up on this.
Maybe even feeding judged - so would definitely put up walls. I'm sure with a bit of patience you could turn this around.

PP have picked up on exactly what I did too. You do sound like you think you’re better than them and that they should treat you as superior. Do you respect and look up to them?

Why should they look up to you? Maybe they feel that from you and it's creating a barrier?

Sorry but why would your siblings look up to and respect you purely because you're their older sibling?
I don't look up to my brother, I respect him as a person but he doesn't get my seat on the bus IYKWIM.

Your siblings are allowed to prefer each other. I'm sure you also have a favourite? We all have people we gravitate to and ones who we pull away from. It's not always something within your control.

As PP said, I feel like I should be looked up to and respected by my siblings gives off vibes that this is a you problem, like you suggested.

Some siblings will be closer than others, that's just life.

Do you have anything in common with either of them that you can bond over?

Is there some first-born privilege I don't know about? I'm the eldest and don't get the automatic respect thing from my siblings either